Nitojutsu (Dual Sword Style) [Finished]

[Exar Kun]

Gaaaah. I totally spaced on this, sorry about that.

Well, it looks good to me, overall. One last thing I'd like you to expand upon in that technique is how long it takes to strike each time. The only reason that's an issue for me is because I don't want people to think that you can attack tons of time in the space of a single strike just because it's one jutsu. So, just put an attack speed in there (in the form of attacks per second, or something), and you're good to go.

[Not Masakuni]

[1] Nitojutsu Mental State - Doesn't need a stamina cost; this should be passive.

[2] Nitojutsu Strike Power - Stamina cost should be Low-Very High for this. Also, change it so that it adds bonus damage when used in conjunction for other Nitojutsu techniques. I don't want to see this one being used by its own to attack and defend everything.

[3] Forced Redirection - Not entirely seeing the manuever behind this one, but the gist of it is that it turns your opponent around to face behind them. Cool.

[4] Two Sword Strike - I don't like the balance on this one. 20% speed reduction for 300% strength increase? (3 High = 1 Very High) Its a bit confusing in its writing as well. If you want it to be a more powerful strike, make it a re-trainable technique with stacking damage.

[5] Million Stab - One more attack per retraining, and note that the consumption increases by one tier for every fourth retraining.

[6] Riposte - This one is very unclear. Is this some sort of variant high speed motion technique? Its far too vague in describing what exactly it does. Is the run faster than normal?

[7] Frenzied Feed - So, the attack power continues to increase and increase with each hit? That won't fly, with the exponential increases. You could re-write this a lot of ways, which I leave up to you, but remember that the stamina needs to match the damage.

[8] Projectile Re-Direction - Ninjutsu of C-Rank or lower, to be exact, and material ones at that.

[9] Last Resort - Kunai speed is now 8mps, so fix it up with that. ^^

So thats what I can see now. I'll check back again later. ^^

[Tyro]

Edited.

[Tyro]

...bump

[Exar Kun]

Well, I don't know what Masa thinks about this, but I'm okay with the majority of this stuff, as of now. Only one thing is bugging me, and it's mostly the wording of this technique:

Nitojutsu Strike Power
Rank:D, C, B, A
Type: Taijutsu/Supplementary
Range: Self
Stamina: Very Low-Very High
Special: Increases the strike power in the user’s Nitojutsu. This includes both their attack and defending power when striking with their swords. Adds bonus damage to Nitojutsu techniques. Swords can be used individually to strike in one direction, and defend another. This improves the user's basic damage and defense using one sword in the Nitojutsu style, and stacks along with advanced techniques in the style that they later learn, should they use their swords. Individually the user gets two strikes before a drain of stamina each rank used ( using D rank strike power will drain very low, using S, very high.
Description: Training in Nitojutsu has naturally allowed the user to strike and defend with more power behind each.
Domain: Nitojutsu

I'm not sue I understand what you're saying here. Specifically, the thing about the "one sword" is throwing me off.

I'm assuming that the point of this technique is essentially to buff the other techniques in the style, yes? If that's right, allow me to suggest a description for you to put into the technique, for clarification:

Special: Rank learned determines strength of damage stacked onto Nitojutsu techniques used. The amount of stamina required to stack damage is equal to the rank of this technique used (I.E. using the D-Rank version of this technique would require a "very-low" stamina output; using the S-Rank version would require a "very-high" amount of stamina").

That's just a suggestion, so feel free to tweak it at your discretion, but that's an example of something that I think would be ideal for the technique.

I'd love some other staff's opinion on it, by the way.

Anyway, that's the only issue I have left with the style. You're close to getting your acceptances. Thanks for being patient, dude.

[Tyro]

Edited. Anything else?

[Exar Kun]

1/3

[Not Masakuni]

I supposed I've nitpicked enough; I'm always concerned that I'm letting something unbalanced pass. I suppose I can always pull things back if they slip my notice.

We'll send this one through.

[2|3]

[KEITH]

3/3