Resolute Swallow

[Forsaken]

Fukutsu no Hien (Resolute Swallow)
Rank: A
Type: Offensive/NinTaijutsu
Range: See Special
Handseals: no
Chakra: Very High
Special: increases durability/toughness of a weapon by the weapon's rank. Gives the weapon a 40% chance of causing fractures to bones. re-trainable to stack up to 2 retrains. (increases natural weapons durability, such as curse mark transformations, by the Flying Swallow's B-rank)
Description: Through continued use of the flying swallow and having a natural chakra nature of the Earth Release they become able to focus their earthen chakra along the blade creating an orange-brown color and coating the blade in a mineral enriched chakra. This coating created by the chakra increases the durability and increases the force produced by the blade which makes it brutal against what it cant pierce.
Domain: Hien (Flying Swallow), Earth Release, Earth Dominion "A-rank"

[vegapunk]

* Get the Japanese translation for the title also! ^^

* This technque, due to his elemental adaption, should be at least one rank higher than the original 'Swallow'.

* Change type to.. Offensive / Nintaijutsu

* Edit the chakra cost to the new rank stated above - and I don't think it needs an upkeep.

* Don't see how this would be supplementary towards other weapons boosting their durability. This is an offensive technique. Edit that out and include that it causes a certain % of break-ability to others weapons (greater than usual).

* Domain should include the name of the Doton dominion technique and the level which is required to use this technique of that dominion.

[Forsaken]

fixed it but I want to keep the durability mainly cuz it was the reason for the tech itself even the name

[vegapunk]

* Fair enough, still edit the "type" section of your jutsu to how I described.

* As for range edit it to say See Special. In the special include, like the original, that the range can be altered by the amount of chakra poured into it. There should be a maximum range included (reasonable).

[Forsaken]

oh right okay since its not supplementary anymore its separate from the original

[Forsaken]

fixed

[Forsaken]

okay I have the version with the modifications Vega suggested I make and my original lay out now so whichever way works better

[vegapunk]

--Sorry I didn't get to this quicker! ^^

* Not quite sure what your re-trains include when it is in a separate sentence. Is it both the length and ability to fracture. Also, 30% increase which is retrainable 10 times is too much. Perhaps cap at 5, or reword the length increases in a unit of measurement (for accuracy) rather than a percentage.

[vegapunk]

--Sorry I didn't get to this quicker! ^^

* Not quite sure what your re-trains include when it is in a separate sentence. Is it both the length and ability to fracture. Also, 30% increase which is retrainable 10 times is too much. Perhaps cap at 5, or reword the length increases in a unit of measurement (for accuracy) rather than a percentage.

[Forsaken]

its stacking all abilities and fixed

[vegapunk]

Can't see much else getting changed...get rid of the top example and then you have my 1/3

[Forsaken]

kk fixed it

[Exar Kun]

2.3

[Not Masakuni]

Ehh. This seems to multi-purpose to me. Keep in mind that this is a seal-less technique that simultaenous increase the durability of the weapon, gives it a substantial chance of fracturing bones, as well as increasing the length of the weapon. On that note, Flying Swallow only gives retrains of 10%, and this technique should do no more than match that, considering that an insubstantial blade extension would be especially difficult, in my opinion, for Earth Chakra, as opposed to say, Wind Chakra.

Ultimately, I believe it does too much. Its field should be narrowed.

[Forsaken]

took out the blade length since Hein already does that