dictatorial return. [asato/pm]

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]I did not regret any of the decisions I made to be with Asato, either. Perhaps I could have treated my village and family with more respect, but his criminal nature would not have allowed for that and I did not mind it. I was happy so long as he was at my side, even if that meant living in a pseudo-house inside a cave protected only by a flimsy waterfall. There was one thing lingering on my mind, though.

"Now that we're back here ... we probably will never have the chance to have a child, you know," I mentioned, a touch of sadness evident in my tone, even to myself. I know I had told him repeatedly that I wasn't sure I wanted kids, but there was a maternal instinct inside of me that had allowed me to blossom as Kazekage. I wanted the joy of a child, but even on that peaceful continent it had never seemed like a good time. Now, with the war and our criminal status, it would be impossible. I needed encouragement. "Is that okay? With you, I mean. That we can't start our family because of this decision."

I unwound my body from his and stepped over to one of the chairs, sitting down in it lightly. I knew that his paper was realistic and durable, but sometimes I feared it would give way beneath me. Old habits and all. I kept my gaze locked onto him as I leaned my chest to the table, curling my arms on its surface to lend cushion to my head. In a way, I wanted to know his thoughts as a means of closure. Now that we had our base we could set out to do whatever it was we came to do and I wanted to make sure he didn't want to turn back. Before it is too late ...[/style]

[Comatose]

The prospect of children was always on a married couples mind, even if they didn't want it to be. It was natural to want to have them, to continue your bloodline and raise your own to greatness. However, a conversation between Youka and I had long ago halted any prospects of having any for the simple fact the world was simply too cruel, and our comings and goings never allowed for much time to raise one.

I myself as a progenitor of all sorts of pain and anguish knew all too well how cruel it could be. That being said, who would really want to bring a child into the world. We would of course.

"Just because we're back here doesn't eliminate us having a child completely, love. Perhaps things will change, perhaps we will change them. You know I would give up my life for you and if we had one, our child."

There was nothing more in the world cherished than my wife and I would protect her until I myself was dead.

I walked over to the table set I had devised of paper and chakra, and leaned my body over hers slightly, making sure to embrace her closely to remind her that we were in everything together.

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]Despite the sudden revulsion I felt at his response, I managed to hold in my emotions until he had finished. Just as I was about to jump up and practically scream at him, however, I felt the warmth of his body as it enveloped my own. The steady beating of his heart against my back and the gentle touch of breath upon my cheek quickly soothed my anger, which was released in a single shaky exhalation.

"And that is one reason we could not have a child during these treacherous times, Asato. I would give my life to protect you, and you would do the same for me—in either situation our child would lose a parent. If it came down to it ... I would sacrifice our child if it meant keeping you alive. I can't live without you. I am selfish. In that way, I would never make a fit mother. Not until I could safely assume I would never be put in that situation."

My words were harsh and I knew this, as it certainly was not the most motherly response. Even still, they were true, and I felt no regret at telling him them openly. He knew all of my flaws, this included, and Asato had never judged me for any of them just as I accepted him openly. So long as there was a possibility of one or both of our demise, a child did not mesh into our lives in any practical way, and that was that.

I lifted my head from my arms slowly, so that I did not hit his, which was hovering so close. I carefully tipped my head to expose my neck, hoping for a kiss in a place that required no awkward twisting and turning in this particular position. This action was also one of submission, though—a preparation for the topic I wanted to bring up to him. Sometimes I wondered when I had become this person that would do anything for this man, but then I remembered how much I loved him and it did not seem odd anymore.

"Shujin-sama," I started in a whisper, using the nickname that would catch his attention even if he was focused on my neck. "You need to decide what we should do next. What are our goals? We have the perfect place to hide if we need it, so it's about time we got started on ... whatever it is we are here to do." A sudden thought crept into my mind, unbidden—a presence that was not my own, but just as familiar to me. "We need to purge this land of these people. So cruel, so bloodthirsty. This war is their own; we should not have to suffer because of it. They should be removed, for the betterment of all."[/style]

[Comatose]

"Then we will just have to make sure that situation never arises."

My body leaned further onto her own to allow my lips to peck briefly at the skin of her neck, placing one kiss upon it gently.

There was moral gray that Youka and I occupied that still was obvious in her statement and my thinking to this day. Why not just remove the problem for our own betterment? It was selfish and cruel, but it would suffice for our need to live together without worry in the land we were born unto - possible peace was only a convenient aftermath so long as we got what we wanted.

It was interesting to think that I had started my life as one who dealt in evil and had become so willing to do good simply to live in peace with my wife. That was the only possibility of living on at this point. We were drawn back to this land of Ninja and Never-ending war.

"We will have to either fix the broken and tattered alliances of the villages, or kill those who wish to wage war in the name of conquest."

Kusanagi trembled within it's sheath, resonating with a horrible sound - a cry almost. The prospect of bloodshed had caused a stirring within it, that my hand could not steady as I placed it upon it's hilt in such an effort. Luckily for our efforts Kusanagi did not care why blood was shed, but only that it was.

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]Kusanagi's cry was an awful sound, one that made me immediately curl into myself on that chair, pressing my forehead hard against my hands in a futile attempt to compress the memory of it into nothingness. It made me tremble from the sheer need of its sound, the lust it felt for blood that could never, ever be quenched. The aftereffect of its influence left me with a rush of adrenaline; I could have killed someone there, right then, and it would have made me feel powerful again. It was only Asato's presence that—once again—soothed me.

Moral gray area indeed.

Eventually, I managed to collect myself from the shattered sanctity of my mind. Why I was so susceptible to Kusanagi's influence I never understood, but I was glad that Asato was its master and not myself. I would simply be a host to its will, no thought of my own until its urges led me to death. "Solutions are seldom successful when you choose only one path," I whispered, lifting my head again. There was a throbbing in my temple, the beginning of a migraine that would surely bother me for the entirety of the night. "If we are to get what we desire, it will be a mixture of those two. Some will concede to alliances, but others will struggle. If they cannot be persuaded through force, then they will have to die."

I slid off my chair and out from under him, backing slowly away until my back hit the cave's wall. I twisted my arms so that I could press my palms onto the cold surface, steadying myself and fruitlessly trying to calm my quickly beating heart. "But of course, I will follow whichever path you perfer, Asato." It wasn't my husband that was scaring me, although it may have seemed that way. In fact, I was frightened by Kusanagi and the thoughts I had while near it.[/style]

[Comatose]

The anticipation that Kusanagi's cry would provoke such a response in Youka was the reason for my hand attempting to steady it. I had long since abandoned the hope that our stay away from this continent would give it the time it needed to return to it's former state. I had read up on it's history and learned that it was not always such a demonic and cruel blade. In the hands of gods and their children it had done much good, and slayed all matter of demons. However, in the hands of man it's purpose was corrupted and it had become nothing but a tool for destruction, hence it's current state.

"Neither path will be easy, and I assume if it were even possible to mend such relationships it would have been done already. Though, perhaps I am putting a little too much faith in humanity."

My eyes followed her movement from the chair to the cavern wall, where I followed her to once again embrace her. Kusanagi's cry had been suppressed by my own will rending upon it's consciousness in retaliation to it's sour cry. Though, this method never worked for long it was a way to allow Kusanagi's mental link to backfire upon it and stop it from doing as it would for a good while.

"Love, it's stopped. I'm here."

Youka's reactions to the blade always put fear in my eyes. The evil blade had spoken with her once, if not on several occasions, and had done well to attempt to corrupt her mind. I was only immune to it's auditory assaults because I was it's bearer and our pact did not allow it to harm me in any way.

"We will choose the path that we're allowed to. If we can avoid anything. . confrontational we will."

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]My heart raced faster and faster as Asato approached me, my eyes flickering from his face to Kusanagi and back. I felt like a trapped animal, the urge to flee just as strong as my urge to kill had been moments before. I did not enjoy the person that demonic blade made me think I was. I wanted to be away from it. I glanced once at the entrance to the cave, the outside blocked by the strong flow of water; before I could decide whether to run away or not my husband was embracing me and I realized, along with his words, that the sword's influence was suppressed.

"Yes, yes ... stopped," I muttered, still feeling a little frantic. I removed my hands from the wall and clutched at the material of his shirt, holding him to me as hard as I possibly could. These situations had not happened while we were not on this horrible continent, except for the very start when Kusanagi was insanely angry at the change. I would have to get used to its intrusion every now and then, perhaps even learn to block it out or overcome it. "I'm sorry, I—" he cut me off and I closed my eyes tight, burying my face against his shirt between my curled fists. "We both know confrontation is inevitable. But if the outcome is what we desire, it will be worth it. A means to an end."

I recall that my thought process before we left when it came to Kusanagi was that I, too, needed a legendary item to counteract its evil influence. That was still a viable option now, although I had no recollection of what relics could be found hidden across the continent. Asato, on the other hand, was knowledgeable about this. "But before we begin, I think I need to be on equal footing with you. I need a weapon like your Kusanagi."[/style]

[Comatose]

[style=width: 350px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 12px; padding: 5px; text-align: justify;][style=float: right; margin-left: 8px;][/style]I did not let her go from my embrace as I thought about the prospects of hunting down another legendary weapons, this time for Youka. There were many legendary weapons across this land of all shapes, sizes, and purposes. The hard part wasn't knowing they existed somewhere as much as it was finding the said weapon. I recalled my stint with the old man and test on whether or not my intentions were pure in using Kusanagi. I had almost lost the blade forever.

"As you know there are many many legendary weapons scattered about this world. All the myths and legends of legendary weapons are usually at least partially true. There is no easy way to get on trail to finding one, nor when you find one is it just as easy as taking the weapon for yourself."

Amongst all the legendary weapon tales I had heard and read through while looking for Kusanagi there was only one that had seemed to fit with Youka's wind mastery the, Soaring Swords. The twin swords allowed one unparalleled master of wind techniques and controlling of winds proper.

"There are the Soaring Swords. . however, we still have more important things to attend to as far as our quest to end this war."

I knew the mention of the swords would pique her interest, but the timing was slightly off. [/style]

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]I was well aware that finding a legendary weapon would be far from easy, considering how long he was away from me to locate Kusanagi. Still, I listened intently to his words, keeping my face buried against his chest for the warmth and comfort it provided. Although the cave was a perfect hiding spot, the darkness and spray from the waterfall definitely cooled the air; it was probably ten degrees warmer outside.

The Soaring Swords. This name brought back a memory of our time in Konohagakure, which subsequently brought back a memory of a book I had been reading in Sunagakure before our departure. It was about the Fujaku-Hisou Shouken, otherwise known as The Soaring Swords. I wanted them back then for similar reasons to his bringing them up, so it seemed like a perfect plan. I am a master of Fuuton; a Fuuton relic is the only thing that could possibly enhance my skills past the point they are at now. I flinched when I realized he was correct that we should wait, however. There was a strong part of me that wanted to seek them out immediately, so that I did not feel so vulnerable around that demon blade ... but I could be patient. Perhaps.

"You are right as usual, my husband. But then, what do you propose we do now? Hiding out in this cave will surely not accomplish a thing."[/style]

[Comatose]

[style=width: 350px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 12px; padding: 5px; text-align: justify;][style=float: right; margin-left: 8px;][/style]With Youka and I only having been back in the country for a few days our information about the world was limited. The world was still at war with itself, that much was clear, but who were the major players? What villages were still threats? Who was winning? Who was losing? There was very little that was clear to us.

"I think our first move will have to be to gather more information. We simply do not know enough about the world's current situation to make a major move on anything or anyone."

In my former life I had been a dealer of such information and such being true I understood the necessity of knowing what we were up against in our upcoming conquest. Being unprepared could bring about disaster and even death, especially if other relic holders, those with bloodline limits, or bijuu were involved. The last we had heard the Tailed-Beasts had been rampaging the land, and because there was a general lack of everything being destroyed, it was safe to assume that someone had tamed or destroyed those beasts remaining.

"After we know what we're up against I think it will be clear where we should go first. That means we'll have to do some reconnaissance, together and or alone."

I never did like leaving my Youka's side. [/style]

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]"That does sound like an intelligent move to make," I responded, pondering on his words with a smile. It made me remember the first time we met—my offer of information and privilege was the only reason I was worth anything to him then, the only reason I was still alive. He collected knowledge for his own gain. Funny how situations can change so drastically ... how I had married the man that once played me like a puppet on a string.

It was his next statement that pulled me from my reverie. I pulled back from him a bit, pressing my back against the wall so that I could easily lean up and kiss the soft underside of his chin. "Although I don't particularly like the idea, I think it would be safer for the two of us to part ways whilst gathering the necessary information. Alone, either of us could pass as the average citizen. Together, however, we are a suspicious duo that no one would trust."

I laughed, but I was telling the truth. A man with a sword was not exactly worthy of more than a second look, but if we traveled as a pair the citizens would worry about our intentions. My heart squeezed momentarily ... I had not been away from his side in years, so the idea made me nervous. Even now I was afraid of losing him, to death or even to another woman. I am weak. Sometimes I wondered why he chose me when he could probably have had anyone he pleased. I tried to wipe the worry from my face as I whispered, "But please be careful ..."[/style]

[Comatose]

[style=width: 350px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 12px; padding: 5px; text-align: justify;][style=float: right; margin-left: 8px;][/style] "You know no matter how far we are apart I will be thinking of you. Missing you."

I could tell from the worry on her face she was just as worried about me as I was her. Youka was all I had in the world, and all I had needed. If something had gone wrong — if something had harmed her, I don't know what I would do. My arms wrapped around her frame once more to embrace her in a closer hug, my lips moving to her forehead to give it a quick kiss. My heart was clenching too and I tried even more still to keep my teeth from clenching in response. I didn't like it one bit.

"We must make sure to keep in constant contact. After all, we do have the Two-Way Radios, we can talk to one another freely whenever we should choose — as often as possible without breaking cover."

I didn't know what kind of person I would be without my wife. She was my other half that kept me grounded to the world and warded off both the influence of Kusanagi and my former self. I worried further, not for myself, but for the people I'd meet.

"I love you."

[/style]

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]As always his words soothed me, but not enough to completely dispel my fear. Even the thought of keeping in contact with him via our radios did little to help; those radios reminded me of when he used to come and go as he pleased, before we were together. On top of that, he had not bothered to call in during his journey to find Kusanagi. Would he remember to do so now, after all the years? Did he love me more than he did back then?

I felt my heart skip a beat and drew in a sharp intake of breath, feeling much like the child I used to be when I was seventeen. There was a heaviness in my chest that made me want to cry, but I couldn't tell if the emotion was real or imagined. Was I truly so frightened that he would leave me that I would stoop to sobbing my eyes out at the thought of his departure? Yes. Yes, I was. I inhaled a much more shallow breath to get control over myself and looked up at him, hoping my eyes were not moist or my emotions were not clear. I already worried about my physical weakness, it wouldn't do be emotionally weak as well.

"I love you too. But, can we please compromise instead? While traveling through this country it would be advantageous for us to split up, so as not to draw attention. However, the danger of being attacked is too great outside of his area. The other countries are far too well-populated and patrolled. I think that if we need to leave the boundaries of Takigakure for any reason, we should travel together. Safety in numbers."

I hoped my excuse would persuade him. I think that if he walked out without me—traveled so far without me—I would not be able to hold myself together. 7 years of constant company. How could I possibly be without him?[/style]

[Comatose]

[style=width: 350px; font-family: times new roman; font-size: 12px; padding: 5px; text-align: justify;][style=float: right; margin-left: 8px;][/style]The compromise that Youka spoke of was more than fine with me, because I didn't not want her to leave the country without me either. We both needed one another and the chances of being split up due to one thing or another if we traveled too far away from one another were too great.

"Of course, love. We should always be within the same country, if you were any further away I'd worry too much."

There was little left to say or do but actually leave one another to begin our search, but no matter how much I willed it my body wouldn't move. The thought of Youka endanger frightened me to an extent I had never been frightened before. However, I tried to gather my composure enough to quell such feelings. This searching would speed up our process of figuring out who were the major players and thus directly influence the rest of our lives here. When all was said and done, we could finally settle down in the lands of our birth and start living real lives.

"If anything at all, use your radio. No matter what it is. ."
[/style]

[addy-hime ♥]

[style=width: 310px; font-family: times new roman; text-align: justify]I could have laughed from relief that he accepted my proposal, but instead I simply nodded. My own life was never a large concern, but I could say I felt safer knowing he was just a radio call away. "I'd worry about you too, Asato," I said, smiling coyly, trying my hardest to fall back into my normal personality. "Even if you are strong, it's still my job to be concerned about your welfare. But I'm sure that Kusanagi won't let anything bad happen to you when I'm not around."

Feeling suddenly suspicious, I sneaked a glance at that demonic blade, which had been silent since its screech earlier. I narrowed my eyes at it, mentally threatening it with eternal anguish if, in fact, it did not keep Asato safe like I said. That done, I plastered on a happy face and leaned up to give him a last kiss—at least for now.

"Keep in contact. If something does happen, don't be too stubborn to call me ... I can help too, you know. I think I'm going to scope out the area around us first, then head to some of the smaller towns unless I find something of interest. I'll check in with you around nightfall. We should discuss when we plan to meet back up at that time."

I kissed him softly upon the lips and then skirted around him, knowing I could not stay close if indeed I wanted to make it out with enough time to reconnoiter. I picked my cloak up from the ground and pulled it onto my frame, leaving the hood down for my own comfort. It was not the proper color to blend into this region, but I had this since I was younger and had no plans to change any time soon. "I love you."

With that, I was gone. _exit![/style]