;; the first snowfall (p)

[❥;; bexx]

;; day five

She was out on the docks now and it was getting dark here in Hi no Kuni. The boatman who had brought her here was on his boat waiting for her. She was a little surprised to see him wait. He seemed like the type that had a lot of customers would request; a nice guy who was also a good friend. But there he was sitting there with his eyes scanning the dock when she was within seeing distance of him. He looked relaxed with one knee up and chewing a piece of gum. But he couldn't have possibly known that she would come out of the forest during that time. She walked along the dock passing the other boats that were parked there and headed over to him. When he saw her approach he stood up on his boat.

He smiled at her; showing his insanely white teeth that was even more white contrasting the darkness of the night. The night air held a soft breeze and it blew gently on her face. She liked this kind of weather; neither hot nor cold. Just right. He waved at her and she returned a smile. When she was almost two feet away from the boat, he jumped onto the dock. "Ya out late tonight, lass. she nodded. "Havent gotten yaself in any trouble have ya?" she shook her head. She didn't count the Genin that she purposely dislocated a shoulder and that Hyuuga she fought. No, she didn't get herself into any trouble at all. But he saw through her little fib and frowned. There was no physical bruising or at least not from what he could see in this rather dark night. 

"Ren, what're you doing here? Don't you have customers?" He chuckled at her questions and pointed a finger at her nose. "Ain't ya one o' my customers?" That much was true. Her guardian bestowed his trust in this boatman in taking her to different places to find her lost memories. "I went back to the old man n he says he's got a diary thing he wanted to give ya. But I forgot to bring it." Ah so that was his reason for being here. A diary?She never kept a diary and didn't know of one that she had had one before she got to the little town. 

"You want me to go with you then?" his smile gave it away rubbing the back of his head. And he chose perfect time too. It was dark out so patrol was a little more lax than broad daylight. She sighed and stepped onto the boat. She was curious about this diary. She had lived with her guardian for a full year but never heard or seen any mention of a diary. He couldn't have just remembered, could he? She sat on the bench of the boat, looking at the now black colored water with light reflections from the sky. He got onto the boat too and was removing the rope that tied the boat to the dock. It was another long ride.

"Let's go! He picked up the paddles and started to steer the boat away from the docks of Hi no Kuni. She planned on coming back to this place and probably hang out in the forest again. She listened to the paddle dipping into the paddle. It was rythmic and was the only sound that could be heard. She expected that this trip was going to take at least a day and a half like the last time. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was so confused; all came so quickly that she didn't have the chance to give a proper response.

      

[❥;; bexx]

She cupped her hands under her chin and sighed. There were questions--numerous questions that were popping up in her head. If her guardian kept a diary for her of her past then why ask her to go on the journey across the ocean? All the questions she had would be in the diary, ne? Then if not, what was this diary about? She was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear Ren's questions. "I'm sorry, what?" She lifted her head and listened to the boatman. He asked her if she was tired. "I've been training all day so I am a little tired." she was a little tired. "then ya gotta rest." she nodded her and snuggled on the bench.

The gentle rocking of the boat made it easier for her to sleep. She fell into a deep slumber almost a minute after her head hit the bench. She had one of those dreams again; the ones that showed figures of people she didn't know and couldn't even see clearly. She saw that in this dream that she was at a room in a building. This building had three floors apparently and she could see that there were many rooms on each floor. In this particular room was a reception desk that didn't have a receptionist. A billboard was behind the desk, hanging on the wall. There was nobody but her in the room.

She fell asleep for a couple hours only because her dream was short. She just walked out of the room and went down a flight of stairs. That was it. She opened her eyes, stretching as she noticed that the night was still young. Ren was not paddling the boat, taking a much needed rest. As she woke up, she saw that he was looking up at the starlit sky and was smiling. She looked at the stars too which was very pretty. Noticing her rouse, he winked at her. "Pretty ain't it?" she smiled and agreed with him. "ya sleep well?" her sleep wasn't as disturbing like her other ones but she would've liked to sleep longer. Nodding again she stretched out her legs and sighed. On the water was really free and relaxing.

They had only been on the water for a couple of hours meaning that there were many more hours of being on the boat. She wondered how she was going to spend the long night since sleep was obviously out of the question. There was way she could train, something she would have done whenever she was bored. Night training always gave her an extra energy boost. But now that she was on a boat and the boat was actually sailing on the water, she didn't want any sudden things to overthrow it or any other hazards. Instead she just sat there and hummed to herself. There wasn't much left to do. Ren looked at her and cocked his head to the side. This girl was something else. Her voice was definitely nice but she sounded so sad.

"Ya kay, lass?" She looked up and stared at Ren. The boat rocked on and soon he stood up to take up the boat paddle again. He steered it to the left and let it keep sailing on its own on the water. He was taking it easy tonight which probably meant that they'd be on the water for a little longer than the last time. She didn't have much of a problem with that though. One or two hours difference wouldn't make much of a difference. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just bored."

      

[❥;; bexx]

She just kept smiling and humming. The boat was going slower than she wanted, the tides small. She wasn't in much of a rush but she assumed that it would be better if they could get there as soon as possible. She was still waiting to know this whole truth behind the diary. She took a slight breath before speaking Ren. "The boat's going a little isn't it?" He raised an eyebrow. "I don't need you to paddle but I have another way to make the boat faster so then you don't have to paddle so much." His eyebrow continued to be raised. He was probably wondering what kind of way she meant. He forgot that she was a shinobi and had the abilities of all shinobi even without her memory. Instead of explaining it she will show him directly.

She stood up carefully on the boat and turned to the back of the bat. Reaching out both hands to grab onto the back of the boat, she steadied her balance while standing. Her chakra was dormant for almost an entire day and so it would take awhile for it to be active again. She turned her head and nodded to Ren. The chakra was taking its time to flare in her body. She planned on exerting it to the water near the bottom of the end of the boat so that it would give a little push and make the boat speed up faster. The feat will use a lot of her chakra but she didn't mind. It remained dormant for a day now since she was getting tired of training in the forest of Hi no Kuni and decided to take a break earlier that day. Now she had a reason to use it and she was more than willing.

Her chakra was coursing her body and then moved to both hands. She was waiting for it to steady and for it to push against her chakra points on both hands. The pushing notion would tell her that a steady stream of it was available for her to use. She knew that her chakra pool was low so then she would have to be careful of how much and how often she used it. If she reached her limit and wasn't careful enough she was going to suffer dire consequences. "So lass, whaddya got up ya sleeve?" She shook her head and smiled at him. She wasn't going to give away her secret just yet. Not until it worked and he could feel it. Her hands began to twitch and she knew that in a couple of seconds that she was going to start.

This was different from formal jutsu training. There was no real reason for her to have to have control over chakra the same way she did during a training game. Training was designed and set up for failures so then the chakra needed to be very precise to allow for failures to exist. In many of her past training she didn't account for her chakra usage and ended up exhausting herself more than her body's limits could take and having to take rests or simply just passing out. She still had a lot to learn about this since she didn't remember getting any formal training from a school. Her only knowledge came from whatever her guardian taught her. One day she was going to learn from some teacher; that is if she didn't get herself killed before that day.

She began to release a solid flow of chakra into the water. She was careful to not let the chakra go too far from the boat since it was necessary for it to hit the bottom or around the boat to move the boat forward. With a jolt the boat began to pick up speed. As the water engulfed the chakra the speed continued to speed up and she smiled. At least it managed to make her plan work. But she couldn't move from where she was because if her chakra stopped hitting the water the boat would stop moving at such speeds.

[❥;; bexx]

The sudden jolt of the boat caused Ren to look around. He certainly was sure where the speed was coming from. He peered over at what she was doing and then saw a stream of light blue lightning thing hit the water. What was that? But he wasn't going to ask just yet because she obviously was still busy doing whatever it was doing. The boat had been running on a very low speed equivalent to that of maybe a stroll in the park. But with her increase, it was like they were running on a motor. For a few seconds he was enjoying the speed. The wind was passing through his hair and the chill was enough to make him close his eyes.

But that feeling wouldn't last long. The boat soon began to fluctuate in speed. It was like a motor that didn't have enough power. He opened one eye and peered at the girl. She was still slouched at the back of the boat, but she wasn't standing anymore. Instead she was kneeling on one leg. She was getting tired. Sweat was trickling down her face and she was beginning to see that her chakra wasn't coming out as strong as it used. Shit--she was exhausting herself. She hadn't had to use the reserve chakra in her body yet but if she kept this up any longer, she just might have to. It was so stupid to do something like this. She was literally powering a boat that was doing so well powering itself without her chakra. But she was impatient which was a reasonable excuse.

Her reserve chakra was being mixed in with her body's existing chakra. The drain was exceptional. She felt it hit her hard. Her eyes were blurring, sweat dripping down onto the boat. She was a mess. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, trying to stabilize her hands as more chakra was pouring out. She knew that it would be but a few minutes before all of it would end up being fed into the water. She couldn't do anything about it anymore since she already started and had exhausted almost two thirds of it into making a boat go faster. That wasn't going to go out very well, that was for sure. But because she was stubborn and because she wanted to know what secrets her guardian held from her for a full year back in that little town, she was willing to go to any circumstance just to make it happen sooner.

"Lass, ya holdin' up over there?" came the muffled voice of the boatman. She nodded her head slowly, not even sure she heard what he said. She was just concentrated on pushing out all of her chakra. The boat was moving at the same speed as it was when she first started but she knew that it wouldn't be long before it will fall back to the stroll kind of speed. By that time they were speeding past small islands that existed in the waters. Ren was amazed at how much faster she could make the boat run faster. Even with his excellent paddling skills, he couldn't guarantee a speed with this much consistency for such a long time. This was definitely the power of a shinobi. He walked to the end of the boat and put a hand on her shoulder. Her suit was all wet from perspiration. She was hanging on with difficulty. "Lass, stop what ya doin' right now. I don't want ya killin' yaself here, ya hear?!" He was concerned now.

"Don't worry, just a little longer--just a little longer." Her voice came out in a whisper. Normally if someone were to touch her shoulder she would have broken their hand or their fingers. But she was so determined to do this for as long as she could that she ignored his hand. His voice became so muffled even though he was standing right there behind her. Chakra exhaustion. She could feel it in her body. Her last bit of chakra released, she felt the drain take full effect a few seconds later. Her hands numb, her arms numb and her body limp. She could feel that the boat was slowly coming to a stop, back to original speed as soon as her chakra stopped pouring into the water. She had finally reached her limit again.

[❥;; bexx]

But she would soon find that losing all of her chakra was going to be the least of her worries. Her body began to sway as her chakra was drained and her eyelids were weighing heavy. In a moment's time she would find her body losing all control and plunging into the chilling black waters below. She had been afraid of something like this happening. Her hands couldn't even catch onto the ends of the boat before she fell into the water. Ren, who had touched her on the shoulder was so shocked at the fact that her body was starting to sway that he didn't even think of gripping her shoulder tighter that she wouldn't fall. Actually it took him hearing the splash of her body hitting the water for him to realize that she had gone under.

"Lass!" He didn't wait for an answer. As soon as she fell into the water he dove in after her. The water was chilling especially with the drop of temperature at night and with the original water temperature being low anyhow. If she stayed in the water for more than a few minutes, she was going to probably have a bad case of hypothermia. He would need to pull her out as fast as possible. He jumped off the boat and into the water. He was muscular and so he could probably just lift her up a little at least onto the boat. She was already unconscious by the time he pulled her out of the water. With a grunt he picked her up a bit and put her on the boat again, climbing onto the boat shortly after. He hated having to go into the bone-chilling waters.

He had another set of clothing that he could change into thankfully and hurried to make the change before going to check on the girl. What ever she was doing could have taken her life. He was not going to take off her clothes for her but hoped that she would regain consciousness soon so that she could take the wet clothes off and not catch a cold. He found the fur coat that he had put somewhere on the boat and had it over her body hoping to warm her up. Then he would start paddling again. It was evident that she wanted to get to the little town quickly and he wasn't about to stop her. He had been lazy this trip and stopped paddling way before he was supposed to. He was going to make it up now. He owed her as much.

She would stay unconscious for a few hours and by the time she woke up again it was already daybreak. She must have slept too long and this sleep was not plagued with any dreams. It was just--sleep. She opened her eyes to a shining bright sun overhead. She squinted and st up, finding her body covered in a fur coat that she had used the last time she was a passenger of Ren's boat. She didn't recall much of what happened the night before. Seeing her awake, he smiled at her. "Rise n shine, beautiful!" She rubbed her eyes. "W-What happened?" She was back in a sitting position again and she was trying to remember what had happened. The last thing she recalled from last night was that she had exhausted all her chakra.

"Don't worry about that now, lass. We're almost to your hometown. Just make sure ya stay okay." He was more like a father figure than a boatman to her now. He was seriously concerned over her wellbeing meaning that whatever happened last night after she lost chakra had probably given him more than just a scare. She nodded her head obediently and scanned the area. The boat was really reaching the little town. She could see it in view. He must have paddled a lot while she slept. So she was getting closer to solving this mystery, or was she? She sat quietly on the bench, waiting.

[❥;; bexx]

She would soon see that she was nearing the little town's docks again. It was good to be back to a place she could somewhat call home. It had been her home for a year now so she could call it her second home. Once he tied the boat to the docks and helped her out of the boat. He bowed to her and she returned the bow and then went ahead to where her guardian's house. She would pass the long lines of harvest and walked up the long road that led to his house. She could see that the harvest was growing prosperously. There wasn't much difference between now and then since she was only gone for a week. In a week she had gained a lot of experience both as an outsider or invader of a foreign country and in terms of her strength level. She had managed to learn Yuki no Kami B rank and also that water needle jutsu. She was more than happy with her progress.

She checked that she had a somewhat good smile before she entered to small house of her guardian. It was small but comfortable, exactly what she liked in houses. She knocked on the door and someone from behind it opened it within a few seconds. It was her guardian, an old frail man that had taught her all the mechanics of being a shinobi when she first landed in this town. If not for him she would have been long dead. He admitted her inside the house. "Sayaka, you've returned! I've missed you so!" She hugged the frail man and nodded her head, expressing that she missed him too. She had been so scared when she was in Hi no Kuni that she was starting to have doubts as to whether she was going to keep on going on the journey.

But she had made up her mind early on that she was going to keep at it until she died. The mysteries of her past were haunting her even in her dreams. So she was going to have to keep pushing and keep going. She sat down on one of the chairs the frail man offered her and looked at his wrinkled face. He looked so tired. Without her help around the farm, it must have been a lot more overwhelming. Before she was still able to help him harvest but now all this back breaking work was left for him. And he was getting old too. Noticing her concern, he waved it off. He was going to have her worry about something like that. She had more important things to be worried about.

"I was talking to Ren by the dock and wanted him to come and get the diary but he forgot all about it when he left to look for you." He would say as he got up to go further inside the house to where the bedrooms were. He would come back a few minutes later with a black leather diary-looking book. It had a strap that bound the book together. The size of the book was that of a normal notebook except the pages were smaller. She was curious as to see the contents. But she had questions to ask first. Expecting that she would, the man set down in a chair opposite her and waited for her to shoot question after question, knowing her personality so well.

"Why are you showing this to me now, sensei?" She called him sensei out of respect and because she had learned so much from him. He was her life savior and her very respected teacher; the only teacher she's had in the year of living in this town. He leaned his body forward, his hand stroking his white beard. "I didn't want to show you this at the time I saw it. It was within your belongings when I found you. I let you keep the headband because you can at least find out where you came from with it. But this seemed like such a personal thing that I didn't want you to have it until you knew something more about your past." It was relatively simple and understandable. She understood her guardian's worries though and assumed that it was natural.

[❥;; bexx]

She put a hand on her guardian's hands and patted him. She understood and she wasn't just saying that either. The fact that he had hid the diary from her in the first place was out of worry for her and out of security for her wellbeing. She wasn't mad at him at all. She smiled at him, giving him the warmest smile she'd ever given since she had landed in the town. "It's alright sensei. I understand. I really do." She moved towards the table where he put the leather diary on and ran a hand gently over the cover of the book. She was half hoping that running a hand through an object that she hadn't seen in a long time that belonged to her might trigger some of her memory to come back. But nothing came from the gesture and she ended up just picking the book off the table, clutching it firmly in her hands.

She was about to open the latch on the diary to examine more carefully its contents when her guardian stopped her. He wanted her to wait until she got back to wherever she was before she opened it. That meant that she had to wait until she was back in Hi no Kuni. Another day and a half of anticipation and it was going to kill her. But she respected her guardian and nodded her head. She was an obedient child never going against the orders of her elders. At least parts of her original personality traits hadn't been lost with her memory. If she was only left with her traits that she had developed over that year, she was not going to make it too far anywhere before she ended up dead. Her guardian would give her a couple of rice cakes to take with her on her journey and tell her that she needn't worry about him while she quested for her memory.

Thanking him and bidding him farewell with a warm hug, she was off again. She passed the pastures and harvesting areas and was headed down to the little town square again. By now it was alright broad day, somewhere between late morning and early afternoon. She realized she hadn't eaten all day. Passing a stand that just opened, she bought five orders of cakes, ones with green onion in them and hurried to the docks. She knew that Ren would still be waiting for her there and she was right. He was waiting for her by the dock, sitting on the dock rather than his boat. It was certainly safer in this small town than in Hi no Kuni as anyone would treat you as someone with ill-intentions. She smiled at him a little and was once more helped onto the boat.

"Here, have some cakes! I realized I was hungry and figured I'd buy enough for both of us!" She was getting more and more friendly with the boatman. That wasn't a bad thing since she will probably need his services moreso in the later days to come if she chose to travel to the other four great shinobi nations. So they sat at the dock of the small town and ate their lunches quickly. Ren certainly needed to eat more because he was the one doing all the paddling during the day and sometimes even at night. She felt that their relationship had went from being acquaintance to being friend and now to being closer friends. She guessed it was alright since he meant no harm.

"So should we get goin' then, lass? She was amused that he still wouldn't call her Snowie. She guessed that it was too much of a child and girly nickname for any grown man with muscles to want to call even though it was her name--sort of. She took the last bite of cake and washed it all down with some water from the water cartridge Ren carried on the boat and nodded her head. She was actually very eager to get back to Hi no Kuni. She didn't miss the place at all since she met nobody worth her remembering any way since she'd been there. But she wanted to learn the contents of the black diary.

[❥;; bexx]

She was on the road again. Actually she was on the water again. After finishing his lunch, Ren would start to paddle out of the docks for the second time with his customer. He was hoping that she wasn't going to do something like she did before. He was still a little scared that she'd just go off the tangent again. So before they headed out deeper into the ocean, he would call her out on it. "If ya ever wanna go faster jus tell me n I can paddle ya'hear?" Perplexed at his sudden outburst she waited for him to continue. "Ya seriously don't remember what happen last night?" she shook her head. It was like a bad hangover she remembered nothing. He called on her to tell him what the last thing she remembered was. She told him she recalled using all of her body's chakra to speed up the boat and that was all. 

He stared at her and chuckled, filling her in on the events of what happened shortly after. She fell into the ocean and had to be saved by Ren? Then she was glad that the tides were slow so the boat didn't float away from them when they were both in the water. After hearing that, she promised she'd never do something foolish like that again. She could have died and she would have if Ren hadn't jumped into the water after her and saved her. Now she had two life saviors. "So lass, that blue energy coming out of your hand is chakra?" She forgot that he wasn't a shinobi. She nodded her head and went on explaining as best she could about chakra that didn't sound confusing. She seemed to have done a pretty good job because he nodded his head.

"Whyd you wanna be a shinobi?" Being a shinobi was a job. She could have easily said that to shut him up but she didn't. If she felt she needed to or wanted to answer a question posed by someone she would only respond with her hundred percent truthful answer. She gazed at the water trying to avoid his gaze. There was so much she wanted to know about herself that would make answering these types of questions much easier. But the answer she gave when she looked back into his eyes revealed just how truthful she was. "I don't know. I wish I did and I hope at some point I do." She didn't just hope; she swore to herself that she would. 

He looked at her with his eyebrow raised again. He was learning a lot about her just by talking to her. How could someone so young forget these things? Did she hit her head and forget? She kind of guessed that these thoughts were running through his head. Everybody she's met won't believe that she could just forget. Nobody knew if it was permanent or temporary amnesia. But most don't even believe she had amnesia in the first place. They all treated it like she was lying or just bluffing. "I really don't remember why. There are lots of things I don't remember that I want to." She gave a sigh. She'd been trying to come up with answers for a year now. Hopefully she found some soon. 

He nodded his head and the two didn't talk for a long time. The silence wasn't awkward at all which surprised them both. She was listening to the water being disturbed by Ren's one paddle from left to right and watching the ripples the paddle created every time it penetrated the water. Gradually the silence just turned normal. Ren was just plain busy paddling while stealing sideways glances at her every now and then. He was curious, alright, but he wasn't about to be rude and might offend her seeing as she seemed to not be the too trusting type. They continued the first part of the journey in silence, admiring whatever landscape they saw while paddling the boat onward.

      

[❥;; bexx]

It wouldn't be until they reached the quarter mark of the journey back to Hi no Kuni that the silence was finally broken. The silence broke with Ren asking her her hobbies and such, trying to get her to relax and not think about things that may make her mad or sad. But she wasn't the type of person to just let things drop so easily. She looked at him for a moment, not answering the series of questions that he had proposed to her. It was one of those looks that made people shit in their seats with discomfort. In her mind she was processing what so many people had said about her since she lost her memory. There were hardly any good things said.

"The only thing I remember was when I met my guardian one day a year ago." she began. She stopped staring at him and instead was staring at the clear blue water. It seemed like she was talking more to herself than to Ren. "It just seemed like I woke up one morning and I was in that little town. I didn't remember anything from before. Where I came from--What my name is--Who my parents are--they're all a mystery to me. Hee voice was sweet and melodic; one of the rare times she spoke in such a way. She was usually gruff to people she talked to. But that was her insane side at work. Right then she was perfectly fine. She stared at the water's movement and then was quiet again, letting Ren take in the information he just heard.

So she was really hit with a case of amnesia? He'd never had anyone he personally know lose any part of their memory but he'd heard of it. Looking at her he was suddenly sympathetic to her circumstance. It must be tough living without a past, or a past that she didn't choose to forget. It was hard enough living in these trying times. "The old man musta help ya plenty. He's such a nice fella, y'know." Her guardian wasn't just a nice man. He was caring, protective, knowledgeable and had the world's biggest patience especially with teaching her. She was basically just like an academy student with no background left in her memory of a shinobi. She knew he had wasted a lot of energy and breath trying to get her back up to the level he assumed she was at before amnesia played it's game. 

And she had done just that. She had tried as hard as she could, worked and pushed far to retrain herself back to a level that was at least recommended for Genins. She still couldn't recall any memory of her life in Yukigakure no Sato but she at least knew what she was looking at in terms of her clan jutsus and the other Taijutsus he taught her. He also explained some of the basic concepts of the shinobi world, what made things so different between a shinobi and a citizen. It wasn't just a job. It was a vicious path. She realized that there was much more to a shinobi then a headband with a village symbol and some jutsus. It was all credit to her sensei.

"You know about the war that took place right?" This question called her back to reality. She nodded her head. her guardian told her that a war had happened not too long ago and after the war many of the smaller villages had been destroyed. He had a hunch she belonged to one of these lesser villages based on her headband and kekkei touta. It was also because he didn't know the village symbol of the headband since during his time as an active shinobi he was only concerned with the five great shinobi nations. She was now hoping to find out more about these lesser villages; what they were like pre-war, if there were any survivors from those villages left. That was one of the core missions behind her journey now. She was looking for concrete answers, not hypothesis and pure guesswork.

      

[❥;; bexx]

She wanted to know more about the war but felt that maybe asking Ren wasn't the best choice. He was knowledgeable she knew but she was hoping from answers from a shinobi. Instead she thought it might be best to focus his attention back on her since he was obsvioisly so interested in knowing. He wasn't the nosy kind but he did somehow show that he wanted to be a little nosy. It wasn't a common event at all to be sitting with a girl that can't even remember her own name. "I know what you're thinking." he cocked his head to the side, stopping the paddling for a short break. "Sayaka Ayase isn't my actual name. My guardian gave it to me and I thought it was pretty." A few days after her arrival at the town, he had asked what her name was. When she told him she couldn't remember, he created the name Sayaka. He told her it was a name he wanted to name his daughter if ever he had one. But seeing as he didn't, she could have it. So she was known as Sayaka in the town gradually making it her official name. During those times she wondered about her actual name. 

"Do you remember anythin' 'bout yourself then? Your birthday--how old you are--?" No she didn't and so she shook her head. She hadn't thought about her birthday for the year and a half she'd been living under the name Sayaka. She guessed it was because she was always hopeful that she would be able to find people who could restore all the facts in her life, including her age and birthday.  Her guardian told her the best way to find out all this was to be strong and be able to defend herself against an enemy at least relatively well. Since he couldn't answer her, he was sure that someone in this world could. She just needed to keep searching until she found that someone. 

She shifted her position on the bench and liked the feeling of the rock beneath her body that came from the boat. She never knew she would like traveling by boat so much. She had been afraid she would become seasick by the end of it all. She took a sip of water before continuing with what she originally was going to say before he intercepted with a question. "I don't think anyone would be pleased to have lost their memory. It's frightening really." Yes it was. And she was revealing her vulnerable side to Ren. That was a big breech in her morals and principles. She never said much to people because she was always fearful of saying too much. But she couldn't seem to stop. All of this had been bottled in that talking to him was like finding an outlet. And he was interested enough about it to not only listen but also ask questions. She certainly valued him as a friend.

"Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by what's going on around me. I want to remember but I can't. It's anguishing and frustrating." She was opening her emotions to him now, treating him like a therapist. He noticed that too but thought it was best if he said nothing. He had volunteered to listen to her problems and he was going to let her talk her heart out until she believed she had said everything possible and everything she wanted to say. Until that time rolled around, she would always have him as an audience. If she didn't manage to finish before she returned to Hi no Kuni, he was sure she'd want to travel again some day and it could resume. "My memories of the past help shape who I am today. But if I can't even remember what shaped me then how can I be so sure that the life I'm living or the way I'm living is the best choice for me?" She had been thinking of an answer to that for awhile now.

"Memory is important lass, but it ain't the most important. Ya gotta live life now n not worry bout the past." Didn't he say that memories were important? She just wanted to be like a normal teenager or a normal person. She wanted to go about not being like a blank slate. People treated her weird if they found out she remembered nothing about her shinobi life. It felt so weird carrying that shinobi headband when she couldn't even remember what village it represented. Even if it was demolished because of the war, she'd still want to know where her family was from, a little bit about her parents. It wasn't too much to ask for, was it? "I say, you can keep going on to look for your memories but if they don't come back to ya after some time then try not get so bogged down by them and just live life!' She could tell that he was an optimistic person. Not wanting to agree nor disagree, she just nodded her head in acknowledgement.

       

[Axcel]

+100 exp

[❥;; bexx]

She wasn't looking for an argument but an outlet. So she treated what Ren said with a grain of salt. He was right on some levels. It was always better to focus on the present and the future instead of getting so worked up over the past. But he wouldn't understand the difficulties behind doing that. It was easier said than done and he wasn't in the same kind of cicumstance as she was. She treated her past with value because she doesn't have it but if she were to have it all along, she was certain she would take it for granted. Humans were weird; realizing the importance of something only when lost. And hers was even voluntary loss. Things were just so unpredictable.

She looked around at the area they were now in and found with some amazement that the sun had gone down. They had been talking for such a long time that she'd almost completely forgotten she was on a boat. Talking also helped relieve the tension she had from wanting to open the diary that was still in her hands. She had been so tempted but respected the wish of her guardian. The chilling air was little comfort to her when she finally took in the temperature drop too. Being a Yukina should mean that she was immune to coldness but she had been far from any sort of coldness for almost two years now. Any immunity was starting to fade, little by little. It wasn't as bad as it was the first time she traveled on this boat at night. She thought she would seriously end up with hypothermia.

"How 'bout you tell me 'bout your visit to Hi no Kuni?" He'd been meaning to ask for some time now. He'd only been at the docks of the country either picking up or dropping off his customers. His job didn't let him have much time to sightsee. He was all about getting his name out there because he needed more customers and more ryo. Thinking that she had explored the place high and low, at least she could give him an punt so that he could picture in his mind what sort of things there were of interest at Hi no Kuni. Her response was both astonishing and disappointing as he was told she never went anywhere except the country's forest area. There was nothing special about the forest! And she knew that too in the back of her mind. But she felt safest there. "What 'bout the people you met then?"

So she told him first about the Genin she met on the first night of arrival to Hi no Kuni. She hadn't expected a fight and during her recount of the events she made certain to leave out the parts about how she went all crazy on the poor kid. He didn't need to know that she had a hidden insane side that only was shown if when she was in battle. It was like somebody else would possess her but know all the jutsus she's learned. It was relatively creepy and supernatural how it worked. At first even she couldn't believe that she changed into someone do coldblooded and heartless after the fight. She just didn't seem the type to her. But in the coming days she would learn that she didn't really know herself as well as she thought she did. Namely the part about insanity only coming into play during battles.

Then she told him about the he/she Hyuuga she met two days after. She took the time to ask Ren about the Hyuuga Clan and if he knew anything about them. He did know quite a bit about it since one of his best friends and frequented customers was a Konoha Genin and always told him stuff about clans. He told her that the Hyuuga had the kekkei touta of the Byakugan and a unique fighting style made just for the clan and by it's ancestors. She was told that they specialized in Taijutsu especially in close range combat. The Byakugan was given the name of The All Seeing Eyes. She shuddered at the thought of that he/she Hyuuga she met and fought with. That person was enough for her to not want to fight another Hyuuga ever again. She wasn't used to Taijutsu masters and certainly not ones with such weird looming eyes.

       

[❥;; bexx]

It was getting late and she was almost certain that she would fall asleep any second. The gentle rocking of the boat made her weary. She smiled to herself, guessing that it was one of those moments where no conversation between them was actually expected. She had talked too much during this return trip. So much so that she couldn't shut up. Ren seemed to also find that she had opened a lot of herself to him today and wasn't too bothered that she didn't want to talk anymore. He was paddling the boat again and the only sound that filled the night air was the paddle meeting the water. There weren't even birds chirping to ease the silence. That was how the two of them passed the next two hours. 

She sat huddled on the bench, listening to the water. The night air wasn't that chilling thankfully. Her eyelids were heavy as she listened to the sounds of the water. In a moment she would find she would be lying on the bench fast asleep. It had been a long day and she hadn't slept well the night before. She definitely deserved sleep. Ren thought that way too as he saw her lie down and close her eyes. He kept on paddling at a slowed pace. If he paddled fast he would run out of energy quicker and possibly wake his sleeping customer. He would keep paddling for about four hours off and on. By the time the moon was replaced by the sun again, they would be closing on the Hi no Kuni territory. Only a couple hours left and they would arrive. 

Her dreams were vivid and contained not too much information for her to go upon, like her past dreams. She had a dream that she was in a house made of pure white. The house was big and at the front door was the same symbol that was on the scroll she was now carrying with her on her journey. She guessed that this was her home. She pretty much took a tour of the inside of the house in the dream. She looked at the designs on the inside, marveling at the decorations. She noticed that because this house was big, there must be many occupants. That means her family must be big too. She woke up shortly after venturing to the second floor of the house. She hoped that she could finish the dream soon. 

She woke up to streaming sunlight and found that the boat was sailing itself on the waters. Ren had decided to take a quick nap after a long day of rowing. She gazed at his sleeping figure and smiled. The tides weren't huge so the boat was sailing at a normal speed, neither fast nor slow. She was thinking about the house she saw in her dream. It looked so familiar, like she'd seen it a hundred times at least. But she couldn't recall anything of it beyond what she saw in that dream. She thought long and hard, trying to root up memories in her mind before it became a blank slate but it was in vain. Ren woke up shortly afterwards and after a stretch he got up to paddle again. They were reaching the few small islands which were scattered about the ocean. Hi no Kuni was just a few islands further down. 

"So that's the diary the old man was talking about huh?" She nodded her head and brought the leather book which was still in her hand up to look at it again. It was just like any diary in appearance so it didn't offer any clues just by looking at the cover. She ran her other hand on the leather cover again. So this contained her memories? She wondered how much and to what extent. She was still not going to give up on this journey because she was convinced that even if this diary offered something to jolt her memory, she needed someone audibly telling her the accounts of things she might have not known or simply forgotten that may not exist in the diary. Age hugged it close to her and closed her eyes.

       

[❥;; bexx]

IThey were closing in on Hi no Kuni territory within an hour. She could see the big countryland become bigger and bigger in view as their little boat made it's way to the dock. She felt a little awkward, the initial excitement from the last time she'd been there was long gone and now she was just finding it awkward. She wasn't a Hi no Kuni citizen though she could pass for one if she wanted to. She was also a little afraid on the inside stepping onto a land she knew very little about. Her brief stay of five days before already gave her two enemies: one who picked a fight with her and one who she picked a fight with. If she were to stay here any longer, she may just make an entire country of enemies. She was going to stay in the forest like she did before. Only in the forest was she the most comfortable. 

The boat neared the dock of the country and Ren did the usual tying again. He also helped her off the boat and onto the dock. "Arigatou gozaimasu." she thanked and bowed to him. It seemed like he has another customer waiting for him at another country and so he didn't stay long. He bid her farewell, told her to take care of herself and not get into too many fights before he rowed the boat out to the ocean. She stood there and watched his figure slowly become smaller and smaller as he moved further away. She knew she would be seeing him again very soon. Smiling a little, she began to walk away from the dock edging closer to the forest in Hi no Kuni. She could see from an outside view that the forestland was huge which was expected from the biggest shinobi nation. Though she knew she wouldn't want to live here. 

It was midday when she arrived in the country. She saw that many more people were out walking around. She avoided the glances of the people. Her white silverish hair was an odd color and attracted much of the attention she received. Other than that nobody really questioned who she was or what she was doing here on someone else's land. Before she walked into the forest she stopped and looked around. The Hyuuga she fought earlier in the forest told her that she was near a hidden village. Though curious as to where the village, she wasn't going to try to find it during the day.

Heading once more to the forest, she knew that the sun was about to set soon meaning she didn't have too long left in the day to read her diary. She was probably going to have to leave the diary for tomorrow. She was getting tired anyhow and wanted to rest. Boat trips really made her a little more tired than normal days. Clutching her diary close to her, she walked deep into the group of trees, almost like completely disappearing amongst the trees completely. The silence the forests usually offered made it a luxury to be there. Even if she didn't get to sightsee much, she didn't mind. She figured one day when she had less on her mind she would be able to. But not at this time though.

She found the pond she'd been training at for the five days she'd been in Hi no Kuni. It had become a landmark for her and she was more than happy to find herself facing the clear water again. She knew that she wouldn't be training here anymore as it wasn't her place to use up resources as an intruder. She had also made up her mind to leave this country in a couple of days. She only wanted to have the chance to stay there a little longer so that she could finish reading her diary and because she really had no place else to go. She wondered if she was going to find her next place of travel in her diary. 

       

[❥;; bexx]

She leaned her back against a tree trunk and stretched out her hands and legs. Her diary was put to her right and in a few minutes she was asleep again. The fresh air in the forest mixed with the earthly scent of the trees was refreshing. She fell into easy slumber and this time was allowed the chance to finish her unfinished dream. This dream would be the first so-called concrete dream. Before she was always having general dreams where she was left with many questions. Her first dream was when she saw a silhouette that apparently she knew and was pulling him down a big street covered with snow. She was a lot younger in that dream. Then there were the segments of dreams after that. They had no connection to each other unfortunately.  

In this dream she was back in that big house, which was the Yukina Clan mansion. The dream began with where it left off from the day before. She was at the staircase of the second floor of the house and was going down the stairs when someone called from behind her. "Sayuri-chan!" And she had turned around to face the girl. The girl had dark brown hair and the same golden eyes she had. Why did she respond to the name Sayuri? She walked over to the girl with a smile and asked whether she had plans to do that day. And after hearing the response she would reply that she was planning to go on a mission with her team and ran down the steps. She exited the mansion and found that she was facing a large street covered in snow. She kept walking and walking down the street and was planning on going out of the village to meet her teammates. 

That was when she woke up again. The sun was about to rise. But her mind was actively trying to defragment what she remembered of her dream. So her first name was Sayuri and she had teammates in a snow covered village. That was a big improvement though since she only had shards of dreams before with nothing to go on except sihouettes of people she may have known. Now she actually knew something about her past. It was a bit of progress. Realizing that it was daytime again she was certain she would be able to read her diary soon. She headed to the pond to wash her face before sitting back against a tree trunk, getting as comfortable as possible sitting on the ground, readying herself mentally with reading the diary.

She was surprised to see her hands begin to shake as she picked up the diary off the ground. She didn't think she'd be this nervous but it's like she was about to discover something out of her mind. The excitement and anxiety were both building as she turned the leather cover of the diary. Flipping to the first page, she found a neatly printed title at the center of the page titled Mission Log. Raising an eyebrow, she flipped quickly through the book realizing that each page, front and back were covered with her writing. Now this was intriguing since she couldn't remember what sort of missions she took or what missions were. She guessed that she would find out after reading her logs.

Realizing she was a little hungry, she took out the rice cakes she had bought from the town before and nibbled on one, reading the first page of the book. She didn't know she had such good writing. Finishing off the cake quickly, she cleaned off her hands and then shifted her posture so that she would be able to concentrate just on reading. Taking a deep breath, she began to read the writing on the page.