//.Never Mentioned Again |T|P|

[Fuck Yeah!]

Moguragakure no Jutsu (Mole Hiding Technique)
Rank: B
Type: Supplementary / Doton Ninjutsu
Range: See special!
Handseals: Yes.
Chakra: Mid
Special: Range of movement depends on the user’s level of Earth Dominion. All doton jutsu used whilst underground cost one rank less than normal due to the overwhelming earth source. User can remain underground for a single turn before needing to resurface; each time retrained, the user main remain underground for one extra turn.
Description: An upgrade to Dochuu Eigyo, this underground variation grants the user movement AND the ability to attack with jutsu whilst underground. After a few short seals, the user merely sinks below, and can remain there for a small amount of time, allowing them an extremely strategic position, as well as the ability to laid explosives along the ground for the opponent to ‘enjoy’.
Domain: Doton. Earth Dominion 'B'. Must know 'Underground Fish'.

Oddly enough I couldn't really remember how I got here in the first place. I mean obviously I was here, but I'd be pressed to give you the exact cause and effect that lead me to being here, 20 feet underground. Directly above me they stood, the 20 ninja, a room full of drugs and a bowl of cereal like you couldn't imagine. It was dispenser of justices dream but to be honest, it was starting to feel more like a nightmare. Unlike a fantasy, however, there was only one way out of this situation and that was straight up.

Being the ninja that I am, not really predispositioned to a one on one engagement quite yet, I wasn't exactly thrilled about the prospect rising to the surface in the middle of such a predicament offered. The odds weren't exactly in my favor and even if I did manage to bring everyone to justice there's a good chance I'd destroy all the evidence in the process. I'd need to be creative if I wanted to make it out of here with my form and career in alive.

The only advantage it seemed like I had was the radar allowing me to see the positions of those above me. Sadly, it was with this that I could know exactly how outnumbered I was and man was I outnumbered I was. I already had a rudimentary understanding from when I first came in through the roof of the building I was now under, but now I could really fathom the depth of my "fucked'nes. Not sure how to really quantify that, but I'd say the odds being so thoroughly against me, it was quite alot of "fucked'ness".

I was counting 22 enemy ninjas to be exact. Their positions were all around dispersed across the incredibly large, dark warehouse room I was under. It didn't seem like I had many options as their numerous vantage points would stop most chances to sneak up or gain tactical advantage against them. As much as I hated to sit around underground, this definitely wasn't the kind of battle I would win by rushing right into it. If success and survival was a possibility, I'd definitely need to put my thinking cap on.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Second post

By my estimation I was running out of time as well as security. My radar could detect a large number of them going over to the drug stash and moving around quite a bit. I couldn't tell exactly what they were doing but there's never a good thing going on when a large group of criminals are huddled around narcotics. For all I know, they were shooting up every bit of reason I had to be there in the first place.

This was truly a weighing of pros versus cons. Do I rise before the drugs are gone and risk my live to apprehend the villains or do I stay underground, plan my attack and at least capture the enemy. If I did lose the evidence though, there would be nothing to make the charges stick and these criminals would easily walk away scott free. Why did I have to jump in the way I did, if only I'd gone in another way, then I'd have more of an advantage.

There was no going back at that point though and thinking about it would just be a bigger waste of time. I needed to act right now or all of this would be for nothing. Wait. If I could get there attention, I thought, I could possibly distract them. Yeah, that had to be what I needed to do, if not, I could be in for a long not of unpleasentries. The last thing I wanted was to lose my case and spend the next week getting tortured by some crank junkies.

Using my radar, I'd get another trace of where they were before acting. From that I deduced moving to the south left would give me my best chance of success. There was only two enemies there and there would be no way for me to avoid getting seen by them, exactly what I wanted. If I could get there attention and then move to another area, I could accomplish this task. It would be difficult, but I definitely could.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Third post

Now was the time, do or die, I needed to act. I couldn't wait any longer as with every second that passed was a second closer to losing the reason I came. Moving quickly to where I needed to be, savoring the moment just before I would rise. If this went wrong it would be it, not just for the drugs but for me in general. Then again, if everything thought that way, nothing would ever get done at all.

That's al I needed to know, it was yipee kai yay time motherfucker!!! Pushing straight up through the dirt, I would look towards the guy closest to me and yell out "Hey chump, fuck you". Looking over towards me he'd shoot a glare before chucking his shoe. Obviously this wasn't the gangbanger to trifle with, I don't really know why he threw his shoe at me but he did and to be completely honest it stung a bit. I wouldn't let that deter me though, especially since it wasn't really the prettiest shoe I had seen that day anyways. What kind of man lets an ugly shoe stop them.

Yelling back at the man, I'd let him know how hideous I found his fashion choice, that I engaged in sexual activity with his mother frequently and my deep Love for cherry pie. Believe it or not, this didn't just get his attention but go the attention of everyone in the room. Now the game was definitely on. They ran over in bunches, kinda freaked me out since you'd think that at least one of them would know ninjutsu or at least think better than charging over like idiots towards me.

Once they all arrived and man did they arrive, I'd sink back into the ground and let them stomp around for a bit. Stompy stompy stomp stomp. They thumped and bumped over my head like willow whomps on a pillow of hammering but I would not be intimidated. I'm the champion of willywomp after all as well as a chuunin of the stone village and a master of doton ninjutsu. Did those fools really think they could just trampse above my head like some pack of barbarians and scare me away. They definitely had another thing coming.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Fourth Post

Jump jump, stomp stomp, run run. That was all those neanderthals were doing above me and I just couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't that it was bothering me, it was more so that I was getting tired of being underground. I mean it was closed and dirty filled and ucky in general. What kind of man just stands underground anyways. I mean I was there to complete a job, so I better have gotten on it right?

Moving like twenty or thirty feet or some shit like that to the left. I'd rise from the dirt like Darth Vader from a cloak of mist. My imposing form back shadowed by the light behind me. I was truly a figure of imposing demeanor and I could tell by the way they yelled at me and charged furiously that they were more than intimidated. I mean why else would you attack someone in such numbers with sheer confidence and bravado if you weren't?

They raged and roared and thrashed their nasty teeth. I wouldn't be intimidated by there attempt though, I mean I am a dangerous ninja of much renown after all. So rather than be scared I'd run in circles and jump up and down, evading there attacks with all the grace of a ninja cat. Kunais shooting over me and shurikens shooting under, it was all quite hilarious to be honest. How could all of these ninja not hit me, it wasn't like I was some ghost. Or maybe I was . Nah I'm a cupcake not a ghost .

Baked goods and my relation to them aside, it was time to get down to business. In revenge to that shoe fuck, I'd spit the luggiest loogie ever loogied and hit him square on the top hat. Why he was wearing a top hat I'll never know, but he was and I'm sticking to that. It went quite well with the warehouses drapes and that's no lie, ask me again I'll poke you in the eye. Getting back down to the job though, I'd be running in circles for awhile before getting back on the offense.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Fifth post

Oh ho ho, how much fun we had that day, running in circles with all laughing and play. They chased and they chided they ran and they run, I wouldn't be stopped though as I chewed all their gum. That's what I was thinking at least as I phased in and out underground. I must have looked like a wizard of some kind as I shot to and fro like that. Everytime they'd try t o take me down, I'd pop back up and come at them like a freight train, if you dig what I'm saying. It wasn't exactly hard to best the fools, especially when it's the best doing the besting.

Then again, I did take an arrow to the knee, little did they know I was wearing knee pads. Ultimate arrow to the knee destroyers afterall. Hey you ever ask you says where that word comes from, after all. Such a sillly word, like bumbershoot or cream puff or New Jersey. Nah that last one is gay, not silly, whatevs. I was winning and that's what mattered, pullin a Charlie Sheen and what not. There was no way these fools could stop me and moving around, getting down, messin around was the way I was gonna do that. They didn't have nothin on me home dog.

Pushin and pullin as I chugged and chugged around the arena that the warehouse had become, my feet were getting tired as was being on the run. So I sunk back into the ground to play with this wormie I had met. He was a pretty cool wormie and was rather good at spinning a sword around like a ninja master. His hair braids always sitting delicately on his tealish shirt. I would know that wormie for quite some time in my life. I'm pretty sure he made me the godfather of his kids when I saved him from that can of peaches.

That's a tale for another time, however, as this story has far more to do with me learning how to extend my sinky technique while fighting drug dealing gangbangers. I mean if that wasn't what it was about than why would i be here in the first place. Nah dog, don't get all existential on me with that one. It was more of a statement of purpose then some philosophical quandary anyways. That's why we never kick it dog, always getting heavy when niggas start speaking in Chinese.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Sixth post

Glare glare glare, raw raw raw. This whole thing was starting to piss me off and I didn't like it one bit. I mean how were these cats gonna come at me like that doing that crazy monster thing. It was way all messed up with a cream puff and my take on it was like fuck these guys. S oI said screw this shit and bounced out of that hood. It was time for another adventure homie. I ported right out in the blink of an eye and started chasing a squirrel I saw outside. Though to be accurate I actually chased him underground, where I was using my mole technique of choice.

That was the best part of all, drawing pictures in purple crayon while sitting underground in our tunn of fun. Or funnel of fun that sounds alot more enjoyable to be honest. That way when we got cool secret packages, we'd be able to open them and be like waaahhhhh. Can't do that kind of shit in a hole or a tunnel, only a funnel. That's the way I think aout it at least, maybe it was just because I was raised that way, with morals you know. If only everybody had the kind of beliefs I do about tunnels and funnels and evil web monsters of doom.

Can't really talk about that kind of stuff with people though, especially when you're underground drawing pictures with old scats and all. Why do I hang out with so many animals you ask, it's because I fucking feel like it, now don't ask so many stupid ass questions and sit the fuck down nigga. I'm the interpol man whether you want to admit that or not and my light green shirt is straight up the bomb. Now if I took your cinnamon roll, then what would you say bro? Exactly what I thought, stop interrupting me learning how to hide underground.

I dug and dug and dug and dug, like dig dug and bumpty buh? Yeah when you say that one you have to have a really kinda confused to it. That's the way you help eachother don't you know by being silly as fuck and carrying around a big gun. Otherwise you're nothing but a henchman stopping me from getting this technique down. If you're lost in where I'm at, it's outside with a squirrel drawing pictures and shit under a tree under ground. I'm like waaaay adventuring bro. Can't stop me cause I am close to the edge and I think I may just lose my head.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Seventh post

Now you want to know why I'm underground, why I'm really underground. It's because the man is always on my case bro. Telling me to stop smokin my smoking things and dancing my dancing things and i'm like fuck you man but he won't get of my fucking case and it's pissing me off so instead of fighting and losing that sweet ass spot in his will, I'm hiding underground. Yeah I know, I'm a boss right, don't you wish you could shwag like me. Well you can't, only I can do me homie. You do you brah, you'll have way more fun that way.

Hiding underground, like I am right now, that preserves liberty as well. I mean we as people have the free ability to hide underground whenever youw ant. I think it's fascist of the world to expect me to have to learn some shit if I wanna do it, I mean what kind of bullshit is that anyways. Like why do I have to keep learning how to be underground, why doesn't my body just like sink into the earth and shit you know? I mean how bomb would that be if I didn't have to keep making seals and going underground and regulating chakra, if it just like sunk?

Dude that would be off the chain, we could even fly too, like way up in the skyyyyyyy. Like birds, but birds that could sink into the earth and wear tires and dance and dance and dance. It would be one hell of a time if we could do that and have bitches. I mean not normal bitches but crazy sexy bitches. I would be so down for taking a sexy ass bitch with me underground and getting all up in that, know what I mean? Yeah homie, getting her to make me a sammich. Of course that's what I mean you filthy fuck. Why do people always have to take things so dirty.

Why can't I just want to learn how to do a technique, like I am now and expect to be able to take a girl underground with it and hang out and stuff. I mean that's why I'm learning how to do it longer, go underground and all. If I do that and accomplish it then I'll be able to stay underground with bitches for like 100 years and do all sorts of cool shit with them and eat whatever sandwiches I want. I could even get a ginger cat if I wanted too. No wait, fuck that, I hate gingers.....and cats.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Eighth Post

So here we are yet again, underground, learning shit about being underground. I should be a trainer for this shit, going underground and all that. Maybe about going to the Earth country too, I heard it's a pretty time there. I mean I should know, i've been there before, like once or something like that. I wonder if I have any stalkers. Random thought I know but that would make me want to go underground more. Unless she was a hot bitch. God I Love hot bitches waaaaay enough to not go underground. That hoe could stalk me as much as she likes.

Pushing up and down through the earth like spaghetti gets me hungry, thinking about cheesy bread and stuff like that. You know what's even better than cheesy bread, fucking chompy bread. It's like cheesy bread but more chompy for your thwompy if that makes sense. Oh it doesn't, I don't give a fuck because I'm an adventurer nigga. Like a mad sick adventurer who can be hanging out underground with a squirrel one second and then in the fucking desert the next. No, not like sand, like dessert. Man I'm in an underground sphere of pudding right now.

You want to know how I got here, how I got in a giant circle of pudding? Too god damn bad, you can't know. It's a secret and my secret. I'm not letting any fucking commies come in my pudding circle to shit it all up with their god damn carpets and shitty drapes, no way man fuck that. I want my secret underground pudding cave to be full of nothing but me and pudding and bitches. Also leather jackets, I mean they're badass right, like crazy badass.

You know what else I think is badass, gummy monsters. Like they're gummies and monsters and all sorts of shit that make you go ohhhh damn. Especially if you like red overcoats and cinnamon spice bon bons. In which case you will most definitely be living in the lap of luxury at that point. I like to move it move it, that's how I straight get to it. By digging myself underground and doing a little boogaloo, can you feeeeeeel that shit. I hope so, that's as deep as it's getting in there.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Ninth Post

So now you have me underground, swimmin around, getting down with my homie the clown and it's all round and round and round and round. I don't know how to stop, from pilling on the rocks but it just don't seem to pop, lock and drop. Especially when you're practicing and training and getting your shit like main, see. I'm tired of swimming but I know I need to cause if I don't then you'll be seeing me, can you pick that shit up or put it down? Whatever, no worries I'm getting around.

Like staying under the earth is worth so much more than doing things like getting a whore. Okay, maybe not, I don't know, don't worry. This cat, me, Kurama is burning a splurry and a slurry, I think that's what it's called, when water gets in your hole and the mud turns all slushy. I won't be stopped in my underground lair, from picking up bitches like my names John Mayer and you think you can cap me with your sappy intronator, well your wrong bro, I'm insaner. If you think you can hate on me for having this convo with a squirrel, then you're the biggest dick in the whole wide world.

I like to dig and tunnel, while I shirk my real job. He needs to be a cop when I can play with the real dogs. Getting dirty with some fleas as I dig the big money, can't stop coming at me cause I throw down with them bunnies. Yeah I'm with a bunny now, he found my pudding hole, I won't let him eat none though cause then I'd be a fool. I ain't no fool, don't care what you say. You wish you could be me but you'll be a hater anyways. Always taking smack on my ninjutsu, eating up my cookies, big man Kurama got his hole on, training like boockies.

and even though I'm sleepy, I won't be deterred, my mad sick moves, keep me going undisturbed. There's no stopping me now, there ain't no stopping me now. I may have a locator chip in my arm but you still won't find me. I have mad ghost moves like a nigga named rhyme'y. Nothing is as fun as training while you rhyme, actually something is, doing it another time. I do it all day, cause I'm safe while I train, practicing all my handseals be getting pretty gay. I do it anyways though, cause that's how I play.

[Fuck Yeah!]

Tenth post

Wiggly and woggly that's how I do, when I'm moving underground, hiding like a jew. Got them nazis after me, tracking through a tunnel, I don't give a fuck, I'm mad like a bumble. Not a bee, you see but a good tumbler whooped dee do. They can't keep a track of me while I take the biggest poo and make the biggest moo. Not a regular moo but a kangamoo, the kind that gives you milk like the worlds biggest boob. While at the same time I'm busting this wrap, my hands be making seals like that busta ass crap. Stabbing with a knife, like a trustworthy cat, I'm way to hard to catch in my slippity slap.

Almost done learning that's how I was feeling, as i dug and I dug with my catternap wheeling. There was no stopping me from eating my chameleon as I had a killer whale in my pocket and was feeling like a million. Stopping all the custard from leaking through the hole, that was my biggest goal as I made it really old. Shrinking and shaving with my jumpity fluff, there was no getting through of my scrumbility bump. You might think that sounds crazy, but I just don't give a fuck, cutting niggas faces off like it's jump, jump, jump.

I was also a little sleepy as I flipped through those seals. My eyes getting tired as the technique seemed more real. Could it be that I was learning as I tried? To get this technique down for a two minute try. I didn't want to be underground, for just a silly moment. I want to live there like I'm Davy Crockett. Having farmers teach me powers while my eyes grow really heavy, that sounds like the life, do you feel me Chevy? Cause then I can train and nap, like a silly silly bum. Getting all my money back together like a scrumbly shun.

Oh there it was when I needed it the most, a landshark appeared from nowhere like a silly ass ghost. He charged and he thrashed like a gnashing cave of teeth. I didn't give him a fuck though as I wicked beat that meat. You know his body, since it was made of meat and I beat it. Yeah, that's being silly, what a play on words, good thing I used those instead of baby birds. Then I got it down, I knew I could do it, there ain't no stopping me now while I'm like move, move and move it. Their really isn't no stopping me now because I think I just learned, how to stay underground.

[Estilo]

Learned!