confessions [p]

[Areru]

As he commented that he’d have probably liked my mother, I’d but grin somewhat at this and keep my head rested on his shoulder- Of course being young I was unsure of what kind of person she was from first-hand experience, but I had heard many things about her from both my brothers and my father- She was quiet and gentle, the polar opposite to my father who although quiet at times, was, in all respect to him, a complete nutjob when it came to “protecting” his family. A gym bunny in his day from what I’ve seen of pictures and what I could remember he was pretty buffed up and intimidating looking, but now after raising a pack of five kids, it took a toll on him and he had lost a lot of the muscle that he had gained in his youth- But he was still my dad, and although I was unsure if Kaeor was scared of him or not, I was such a daddy’s girl. Not that I had another parent that could dote about me.

And then- I seemed to stoke the fire as I asked the question regarding joining ANBU, but aww, so he did care about me- Not that I doubted that he did of course. But, tilting my head to the side away from his shoulder so that I’d now gaze up at his milky eyes, I’d listen to him speak, somewhat touched by what he had to say! ”Me, Academy teacher?” I’d ask in somewhat of a sarcastic tone before responding to the other parts that he had to say; ”I wouldn’t mind being a vagabond in a forest as long as you join me.” I’d tell him as my head nuzzled up to his shoulder once more- Of course, although I wasn’t too fond of the idea of leaving the village permanently, I was hoping that if it did ever happen, he would still be by my side. Being ANBU sure did seem like an interesting career to have- If you could call it a career, but he was right- The requirements of it were quite dire as far as commitment went.

However, the moment of thought that clouded my mind seemed to be cut quite short as I opened my eyes after feeling Kaeor do something to my hair, seeing it messed on my face, which I couldn’t really complain about since it wasn’t really in a better shape before he’d done that. Grinning a little bit at this my hands would messily land on his head and brush the hairs around, flattening his hairstyle so that he looked like some kind of hella gay waiter. Removing my hands I’d then place them on my lap, shaking my head a little to get the strands out from my eyes. ”We could work together. I need to train a load more before that happens, though.” I had been grinning before I’d said this, that was for sure- But after I’d said it, my grin simply stretched. Of course- It wouldn’t’ be like partners in crime, more like partners in justice really, but it would be interesting to see how things worked. With Kaeor his Hyuuga abilities left him close range and taijutsu orientated generally whilst I was more long-range and weak at taijutsu- It should work, right?

"No. His name is Raikage-sama or Raikage. Not Atlas. Stop calling him Atlas."
”HAHAHAHAHA!”

I’d laugh pretty much louder than usual at this comment that he had to say and the actions that he spoke whilst doing so- Sure enough he was the Raikage but having met him before he attained the title, I felt weird calling him Rakage, and so chose to not do so. If one of Kaeor’s friends were the Raikage I was sure that he’d be calling them by their first name too! ”Kaeoru stop being so uptight..” I’d say in a mock upset voice as my finger raised up and drew over to his lips, pressing down on them for a moment or so before releasing them again as he continue to speak again. ”..He doesn’t mind- He’s chill. And about sleeping on the sofa..” I’d say, trailing off in my words as a dastardly smile came to my mouth, seeping poison from the very corners!- ”-I’ll get my brothers to beat you to a pulp! I’ll show you who’s sleeping on the sofa!” But of course I was kidding! I was sure that if I’d ask them they would take it seriously and there would surely be little left of Kaeor to prove it was actually him. However- with my arms now crossed I’d then imitate myself in a mood with him, turning my head sharply away, a head full of raven hair now facing him whilst my eyes gazed outside the window as I awaited his reaction.

And then moments later my bare feet would rise and then gently push against Kaeor's middle, attempting to push him off the sofa! Such was a game that I had played with my brothers when we were young, dubbed sofa wars. Oh, fun!

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[Kaeor]

Honestly I was glad to know that she would be with me even if we were forced to be vagabonds. If she decided to pursue ANBU then I would be worried for her of course, but if that was what made her happy then I'd just have to deal the deck that was shuffled for me. Yet knowing this, she had corrupted me with her own aspirations. If she was going to attempt to become part of Kumogakure's elite ANBU, then I would do the same. With her and I working together we did in fact complement each other from what I knew. She was more of a long range ninjutsu user and in the long term I desired to be a mixture of taijutsu and ninjutsu, but obviously I'd be more inclined to taijutsu. With my Byakugan I could see my opponent and also see what was behind me to an extent, allowing her to attack from afar and basically hide her smaller and quicker attacks with my body. Yet then it was up to me to dodge the ninjutsu so it could hit my opponent. It was a tactic that wasn't new to me but it would require that we practice it a bit before I was comfortable with it. I needed to understand the speed of all of her techniques so I would even be able to dodge it given a certain time.

Areru attacked me back, throwing my own hair in a whirlwind of gayness when she was finished, something that surely didn't show I was. Like a dog I would shake my head forcefully throwing my hair from my view to back behind me.

”HAHAHAHAHA!”

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She was such a... such a.. douche. Watching her I kinda smiled though as her mouth was completely open so I could see everything within that orifice. It made me know that she was completely at comfort around me even though she refused to see the situation from my light. But then the way she mixed her name for me 'Kaeoru' with 'uptight' left me in the middle of feeling good and feeling bad. Trust me, this girl truly loved to make me suffer. I would finally hush down when her skinny finger grazed my pink lips. Finally we were done with that conversation right?

"..He doesn’t mind- He’s chill. And about sleeping on the sofa."

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"Holy shitttttttt 'Reru. How do you even know this from just learning techniques with you!?! No, don't even answer that. I'm demanding a topic change. Like now." This was getting out of hand. I'd definitely make sure that she didn't go training with anyone else. "Next time you need to learn techniques you're going with me!" My words were acute but pretty much showed how dear she was to me. But she then brought up her ridiculous brothers beating me to a pulp. In all seriousness, I was pretty sure I could take them with my eyes closed and without using my feet but I would continue to cringe just for Areru's safety. It was clear that they were pretty much one of her primary "defenses" when threatened, hopefully I'd be thrown into that area sooner or later. "Lets be serious. If your brothers heard that you were on the couch and out of my bed they'd probably celebrate. Hence why I'm reeling back my earlier comment, your staying in the bed." No way. I'd never let them have any sort of victory over me in my own domain. And Areru's cold body at night was in sync with my more warmer one when I held her when asleep. But now we acted like two kids at a impasse over ice cream. I wouldn't budge and neither would she from the looks of it. I'd stay like this all day if I had too but then my reactions caught the movement of her feet. She would press against my middle and try to push me off and nearly did so until I pressed my body back.

My hands would wrap around her thin ankles and pull her so that she was laying with her back on the majority of the couch. Pressing forward between her I'd reach and grab her wrists, effectively pinning her down. It was clear who had superiority over the category of taijutsu as she forced me to roll my eyes and smile with her playfulness. "You really love to pull emotions out of me, don't you?" I boasted, my whites dug into her crimson below me as I kept her locked down.
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[Areru]

To say the least, his reaction to me calling the Raikage by his first name was hilarious- It was either the fact that I was so cool by speaking of him with no formalities attached, or the idea that I had been with another man learning techniques- Of course nothing had happened between me and him, the idea of something happening itself was even more hilarious, but he did have a right to be jealous- Kaeor himself hadn’t taught me any techniques up to now, so surely with the words that he now spoke, he’d be more inclined to doing so, which, I guess if he knew things that I didn’t, I’d be interested in. Of course, if he wanted to learn anything that I was able to use, I’d be more than happy to teach him in return- It was his house that I was spending a lot of my time in after all.

And so he took back the comment that he made, which made a smug grin appear on my face like a little kid who had gotten away with something. However- Whatever smug grin that had been on my face was then swiped away as he’d then use the attack that I had planned against me, dragging me by my ankles and then pinning me down on the sofa. Of course, although I had the bite of a cat I wasn’t all that strong physically thanks to being my mother’s daughter, so I’d simply struggle to break free from his grasp; But, I didn’t really want to bite him- That would be childish of me, and it would prevent me from being able to sling banter at him. ”However, I’m sure that they won’t be too happen over either choice.” I’d tell him with one of my permanent grins- But it was the truth, really. They didn’t really like the idea of me being with someone they hadn’t 100% accepted.

However- They didn’t really like the idea of me being with anyone. And as he spoke of me “loving to pull the emotions out of him”, I’d laugh a little bit before then giving him a feline-like smirk and delivering banter like presents at Christmas- ”-Maybe if you didn’t make you emotions so tough to access.” Of course, I was playing, simply referring to other times when he was speaking to other people and his personality was notably.. different- Never would you see him with the same amount of playful behaviour with someone else, perhaps except for his sister, of whom I had never gotten to meet, but had heard of in the past. I then felt it quite.. special really to have such a relationship with such a cold bastard but, he was lovely to me, and that’s all that mattered.

But, however lovey dovey we may be when around eachother, it didn’t stop me from acting like a total queen. With my wrists pinned down I simply relied on the strength of my shoulders which wasn’t all that much really, as I shifted from left to right, barely moving at all. ”I’m going to kick off now! I will knee you in the face!” I’d say, almost mocking myself as I was aware of the fact that I was powerless as far as taijutsu came. Sure I could do basic things, but apart from that I wasn’t all that great. My main source of power came from ninjutsu- And Damn, I was good at it. ”My daddy will knock you out!” It wasn’t that I was spoilt- No. I just had a very.. caring family. However- Just as when I was starting to give up, a loud rumble could be heard from my stomach, as my lips curled in to yet another smug grin, a sense of hunger overwhelming me as an escape route to his grasp begun!-

”I could really use that fish like, right now.

Can I have some tomato sauce with mine?-
No, wait..
..Mushroom actually.”
Get in the kitchen, bitch!

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[Kaeor]

She was right... Did I lower to many of my walls when I was with her alone? The words hit me harder than one would have believed as I stopped to think about it for a second. My vulnerability would increase around her by a unhealthy amount. Was it something that needed a bit of fixing or was it natural? Love was truly blissful and stupid at the same time. Everything I thought I had some sort of understanding or logic about it, a new question surfaced to cast me in the darkness once more. I guess it was just change that had brought me to my knees. Yet there was a part of me that completely adored the change she instilled into me. She tried to wrestle against my grip, the difference in strength showing through us now. "Pfft. That the best you can do 'Reru? I know you gotta have some hidden strength in you." Surely I jested with that comment as I was interrupted by a awkward noise.

It was the tiniest of rumbles that manifested in her chest and to myself it sounded more like the meow of a cat. Oh! It took me a few seconds to register that it was my girlfriend's stomach. I should've recognized that stomach growl from anything in the world but it always took me by surprise. "I thought you just had a biscuit?" Don't be fooled folks. I swear that although Areru looked quite small, she could consume a full refrigerator in a few days given her mass amount of boredom. I don't know where all the weight of the substances she devoured went, but I could only guess it disappeared like her appetite. Slowly I'd raise from my position above her, my sour face showing the disapproval of her choice of mushroom sauce over tomato sauce. There was obviously something wrong in this picture. I went to work and came home and now I had to cook for her? What did she do today other than sleep in? Nah, I offered earlier anyway and I didn't feel any regrets now at her claim for it.

"One frieeeeed cod coming right uppppppp!" I motivated before making my way into the kitchen. The smell of fish had subsided for a bit and was weakened, either that or I was just used to it by now. "Fortunately for you, it won't take long." I commented hoping to give her hope from that belly of hers. I had scrounged around and found the essentials I needed. "Fish fry. Cod. Skillet. Oil. Hmm.. Looks like we're good to go." I whispered to myself. I placed the skillet on the stove and began to fill it with oil. Not too much to soak the fish in but enough to get the job done of course! I then proceeded to turn up the heat between medium and high, allowing time for the oil to reach a certain temperature before I started.

Turning back around I could see the living room over the kitchen bar and Areru didn't move an inch. "Hey Areru. I'm probably not gonna be doing much tomorrow. Were you up for a picnic?" I offered knowing that there was no way she could resist unless she had something to do. But what could be more important than something that involved us? Then almost as if I spazzed, I'd wait for her to answer before asking another question I was simply curious about. "Hey, have you noticed that we haven't been caught in any turmoil with other countries lately since the war? We have a pretty peaceful reputation don't you think?"

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[Areru]

It seemed that what I had told him seemed to put him off something a little bit, with my red eyes staring deeply at his own milky-white shade, there was little that I couldn’t see. The both of us having quite adapt vision (His more than mine, of course, although he couldn’t dream of doing the things I could do!) it placed us both at a higher advantage than others, and together, we were unstoppable in that sense, surely. However, when apart, he truly overpowered me as far as Taijutsu went, but if it ever came to ninjutsu, I could electrify his sorry ass. Smirking at this thought I’d then stay pinned down, unable to move all that much as I awaited with bated breath for him to finally claim victory and leave me be (Or, at least leave me be as in not trying to pin me to the sofa) but it wasn’t long until that moment came, and I’d be free to resume my original sitting position.

Looking up at Kaeor, his comments about me having had a biscuit earlier causing me to roll my eyes, that was a whole five or so minutes ago! Did he really expect me to withhold my hunger for that long? ”Kaeor! Are you trying to say I’m fat or something? A biscuit isn’t a real meal! That was.. an ..appetizer.” as I attempted to make what I said sound plausible enough, it would seem as if my words would fail me on some degree as I’d pause in-between my words, attempting to figure out what to say next. But nonetheless I’d find a reason and it was given- Hopefully he’d take it in to consideration of course- Although I didn’t really hide the fact that I liked to eat. It was part of my personality, and Kaeor had better come to terms with it!

As he then left the room, I’d spread out on the sofa as I had done before he’d disturbed my beautiful sleep, my head on the other side though, so that I could look in to the kitchen, and at him as he worked, my eyes awake whilst the rest of my lazily lay on the sofa, almost lifeless, although I seemed very much awake now from having spoken to him for such a while. Of course, although I thought that I was a pretty good cook myself, it was always lovely to have someone else cook for you, and seeing as Kaeor was my other half, it was even lovelier. ”I do hope it doesn’t take long-” I’d say as if I was pouting, my head lying on the sofa as I’d look sideways at Kaeor in the kitchen, working away where I should be stereotypically. But then again, I could easily twist him around my finger- Hence why he was probably cooking right now.

And then- His offer of a picnic would come to my ears as he continued to cook in the kitchen, as I shifted somewhat so that I was now laying a bit more ladylike in order to respond to him without my mouth being pressed against the fabric of the sofa itself. ”I don’t know- I’ve got a busy day tomorrow, you know- Me being me and all.” I’d say, trailing off as if the chances of me being free were very slim, but- ”I guess I could squeeze a place in to my busy schedule just for you.” Truly, I had nothing going on, but teasing him was so fun. Having said that, I’d then keep watching as he went back and forth in the kitchen, awaiting for the smell of cooked fish to meet my nose, but as I concentrated on awaiting this smell, I’d soon hear his words, as he spoke of something quite interesting.

"Hey, have you noticed that we haven't been caught in any turmoil with other countries lately since the war? We have a pretty peaceful reputation don't you think?"
”Ah.. Yes. I’m glad, really. I’ve never really done anything in regards to the war itself but my brothers and father have and I’m glad for now our country seemed to be pretty safe as far as foreign relationships go- I hope nothing bad springs up soon.”

Of course, as I spoke these my words were pretty sincere. Even the slightest of attacks could send the village in to red alert, and if mine and his requests to become ANBU were answered, we could find ourselves with early deaths, and at this current time, I didn’t really want to lose him or my own life. Trailing off, it was quite an interesting subject, but it was quite deep at the same time. ”How long do you think we have until something happens?” I’d ask curiously, wondering if he figured we say, had a few more years of peace before something bad would happen but- You could tell, really.

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[Kaeor]

I stood there quietly, my eyes dancing from the oil that simmered in the skillet to the female acquaintance that remained on the couch. I snickered in reply to Areru's retort about what she believed I had termed "weight issues". She was by no means massive at all! It was exactly the opposite in her condition and lifestyle of eating. "Do you even gain weight 'Reru?" It was true. This woman could attack my entire fridge in the span of a week and make it completely vacant. But never did I really notice her gain any additional weight or become pudgy. If anything it was something that I was sure she was glad to have. "Don't worry. I'd still love you if you gained one hundred pounds." Now where was I getting with this? Even I wasn't exactly sure. But the deeper meaning behind it was that she still would be loved by me right! Or at least that's what I hoped she got from it all.

My view returned to the skillet and I questioned if everything was ready now. My fingers would pinch a small amount of fish fry before dashing it into the skillet. If I could see bubbles form at the top due to the heat and the fish fry dissolve, then I knew it was ready. And just as I did exactly that, I could tell that it was ready to go just as Areru whined once more. Seriously. Where did all the food she ate go? "Yeah, yeah. It's coming." I notified with my eyes briefly looking up at her. She was currently making use of her pouty face that she frequented when she wanted something. And this girl declared she wasn't spoiled? Oh her actions certainly said different! But even I was a prisoner to her display though I casually rolled my eyes at how playful she could get. With the fresh cod in my hands I'd wash it carefully, making sure to kill off most of any sort of bacteria and keep the fish clean.

Then the fish would be dipped into the fry and rolled around until it was completely covered. I wouldn't leave any spot of it untouched by the golden seasoning. Once I had placed the fish into the skillet a loud sizzling noise would signal their unification as Areru claimed to be too busy for me. This girl was a mess. She really was a huge mess. "Busy with soaps and all of that?" I jested in response to her tease. It was fine though. Occasionally I could come home to the smell of a fresh dinner with her here but I never bit my tongue on it. If it happened, I just declared myself lucky that Areru decided to be generous. .... Nah I jk. She cooked for me many a time when I came home. It was a mutually beneficial relationship if you didn't count that most of everything that happened involved the use of solely my money!

"Huh?" I had momentarily forgotten my own question that she was conversing with me about. I had to think about her words twice before finally getting the picture. "I guess. But all I'm saying is that if we had a war and I became a hero or something, it could give me and villagers reason to pressure you about continuing my legacy! One thousand sons Areru! Orrrrrr two!" Obviously I was joking. I had never given thought to actually having children and at the moment I didn't want to think about it. I was adoring my time with just her alone and we were still fairly new but not too new to one another as a couple. We had many more years ahead of us but if I became someone great like Kakashi then I would most likely demand a successor to my power. And she'd have no choice but to follow me right!?

"And I'm not sure. It's kinda annoying in a way. I mean we surely have a lot of power and might, so why not exercise it? These lands won't always be peaceful. And those that take the first strike on the unalert will probably gain more. I mean peace is fine and everything and I could live with it for centuries. However, sometimes it's a bit dull when you don't have a beast breathing on your neck." I answered calmly. I didn't desire war, death, or violence. But at the same time without some enemy or the such, shinobi commonly grew bored. Some village was bound to make a move at some time and point. Why wouldn't it be us?

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[Areru]

My eyes closing as I lazed on the sofa, it was easy to say that I felt at ease her- I was somewhat vulnerable right now having just woken up with my eyes closed, and if Kaeor wanted to suddenly turn against me he could easily attack me or sever my head off but I felt at home here- If anything it was home, and although usually mock-arguments occurred within it as was happening now, I very much enjoyed my time at his place- It was quite small, but it easily fitted the both of us. ”You don’t ask questions like that.” I’d complain as I’d keep facing away from him for the time being, before finally giving in and turning my eyes back towards his figure. ”Not.. really, I guess. I’ve always been pretty thin!” I’d finally answer- It was strange really, almost as if we were simply hanging in space, our fates decided by some other person- But that was stupid. I didn’t really like thinking about things like that anyway, it tended to space me out a bit.

However, his further comments would be ignored by me- Of course I didn’t have some kind of strange complex like some girls did, and I was more than willing to eat grease-induced food, I liked to know what I was eating- As far as my frame went, I’d always been the smallest among a group of friends. But- I couldn’t really imagine myself being any bigger- It was a strange thought to me. A few minutes would pass before the familiar sound of things frying would come to my ears, along with the smell of fish cooking that was much, much more enjoyable than the previous scent of raw fish. ”Smells good!” I’d comment, perhaps giving him a little ego-boost as far as cooking went. He was usually pretty good at cooking things so I was assured that it would turn out well, or- I was hoping that it would anyway. There was no telling for sure!

With my eyes continuing to stay closed I’d then keep my head facing the kitchen so that I could see him walking back and forth once my eyes would open, as I simply concentrated on the things that he was speaking about- Rolling around again so that my eyes, now open, looked at the ceiling, I’d take in his words about he hopefully being a legendary shinobi and the fact that as his other half I was chained to produce an heir to his amazing being. My mother having died after I was born, I did in the back of my mind fear having kids- Although surely it would be an act of love and purity that a child would be given to the world but the chance of dying afterwards.. I wasn’t too keen on. Not yet anyhow. ”Kaeor- I aint’ raisin babies.” I’d tell him- He was joking and I pretty much understood that, so I replied with a jokey response, but it showed my intent clear- Perhaps in the far future my opinion would change, but right now, as I said.

After all; I don’t like kids anyway.

However, the topic would be changed from kids back towards the fact that we hadn’t had that many war-risking things happen lately that could see the misery of our village. What he said I did agree with to some degree- ”It would be pretty exciting I guess, but I’d hate for you or my family to get hurt- Once you’re more powerful than me then maybe we can have a war.” I’d say with a smirk as my eyes continued to look at the ceiling, before then turning back towards Kaeor, the very smell of the fish resting on my lips- It wouldn’t be long now, surely? ”We need more things to happen between villages, hostile or not. I’d like to travel a little. How about you?” I’d say- In the past I had considered the job of courier ninja, but.. the idea of being away from home in a foreign country most of the time delivering letters and things back and forth seemed daunting- Although.. ANBU had the same criteria, but surely most of the problems were within the village and not outside it- But in the village’s current state, the biggest problem were some delinquent teens harassing old people a few blocks off.

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[Kaeor]

Just as she complimented me on the scent of the cooking fish, I'd then focus on the task a bit more. The fresh serving of cod was a prisoner to the ardent heat and oil of the skillet right before my eyes. It was cooking quickly and was almost done as I flipped it with a simple spatula. I did it with a gentleness though to prevent a splash of steaming oil from touching my skin and burning myself. But cooking was pretty much second nature to me by now. So I didn't worry myself too much about anything in the kitchen. I'd analyze the fish once more and understabd by the light brown texture that it was pretty much complete. "Go to the table." I asserted playfully, treating her like some sort of child. With a napkin in my hand I would raise the fish with the spatula and set it above the napkin. Then with my hands I'd fold the absorbent napkin all around the fish and press down on it, causing the great to absorb and pretty much "cleansing" the fish. It was then that I'd place it on a plate and dive into my refrigerator, scrambling to grab some yucky mushroom sauce I had just for her. The piece of fish was larger than I originally thought but more than enough for Areru to consume.

I didn't notice how truly weary I was until I placed the plate and the bottle of sauce on the table. I crossed my arms and leaned over a chair to watch her sit down. "You stronger than me? Keep dreaming. You don't even have a job yet and who exactly was skilled enough to get chuunin first?" Point undoubtedly proven between me and my little prodigy. Maybe one day she would be able to touch my skill, but for now I was vastly superior in my own mind. We each excelled in different arts but just as long as I could close the distance between us then I would be fine.

"Travel?" It was interesting to go see other lands and the such. But with the uptightness of patrolling shinobi I couldn't say that it was something that I felt I heavily desired. "Oh yeah. Lets go travel and get caught up in a bunch of unnecessary trouble. I wouldn't mind it." I joked, knowing how seasoned Kumogakure patrollers were during this era. If anyone looked halfway suspicious then it was pretty much as if they were already accused. "Maybe 'Reru. But Kumogakure in itself already has a lot to offer. I guess I'd like to venture out and go see the world one day though. As of right now the only place I want to travel to is my bedroom." I'd insist before walking away from Areru and already tugging the fabic that was on my upper body.

"Come in here when you're done!" I shouted, knowing it probably would take her a while to do so. Due to how small my apartment was, I still could hold a conversation with her while in the shower. It just required I use a little bit more "oomph" in my voice. As I entered the bathroom I saw a sheet of paper that wasn't there before. It was rather crumbled as if it was meant to be disposed but something interrupted the disposal. Interested, I opened the letter and began to read it.

"What... Why didn't she ?" I found myself unable to speak as I looked at the date. This was from several months ago but I still was with Areru at the same time. I wanted to speak but I could not as I stood there shirtless, my shower now halted due to the importance of another factor.

'Areru...'

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[Areru]

His sudden command to reel myself off the sofa and on to a slightly more formal setting at the table, I’d peel myself off the comfy bed that I had been sleeping in but a mere hour ago, and make my way towards the table, my feet proving victorious on my way from A to B, holding both my miniscule weight whilst also doing my best not to rush to the table and seem rude. Of course, thinking about this factor I couldn’t exactly say that I cared, as I suddenly broke in to a sprint (Not that there was a large distance between both points) and soon found myself at the chair I was to sit on, finding it already pulled open by Kaeor himself, as I’d then plant my behind on the wooden surface, eyes gazing down at the crispy-looking fish that he had produced. Sure did look tasty! With credits to him I’d then turn my head up to face him with a genuine grin, nod my head, and then take hold of the knife and fork.

My feet on the tiled floor, luckily due to the time of year it wasn’t at its coldest, but by now I had gotten used to the cold flooring- At the current time my slippers were at my house, so unfortunately for me I had to live the next few days with no proper morning footwear as so to say. However my thoughts would be blissfully turned away from such cold floors and back towards Kaeor and the fact that I had more EXP than him was obviously more powerful than him. ”Let’s be honest here Kaeoru- I’m the man in this relationship.” I’d say as I picked up the bottle of sauce, dispersing it all over the plate- To him surely it would look a mess, but to me? Heaven. Ramming the knife and fork in to the fish, I’d then take a bite as the lovely taste of seafood blossomed in my mouth- ”hgndnn.. nhhhgm..” A comment having been made through half-chew, I was very much the lady.

And as he soon left the room, I’d nod my head and continue to eat the fish, my mind drifting elsewhere- It wasn’t as great as the last thing that I could recall him cooking, but it was still lovely. Picking up another piece and eating it, this process would continue for about five more minutes, I being quite a quick eater, the fish as a whole had disappeared from my place, but leaving a few bones and scrapings of sauce that I hadn’t eaten. Continuing with this regal aura of mine I’d raise my hand to my mouth and perform a half-assed burp before then rising from my chair and taking hold of the plate, taking it to the sink where It would then be placed on top of a bowl from this morning- I’ll clean them later. and so it was decided- Another few free hours or so for me before had to return to work. If housework could be described as work, that is.

With a grand smile on my face I’d then give in to the quests that Kaeor had requested- Surely he would be done with his shower by now, and as I entered his- our room, I couldn’t help but notice that the bathroom door was indeed open, and from what I could see, he stood shirtless, and again with the grin still on my face I’d sit myself down on the side of the bed that was closest to the bathroom, my arms crossed as I’d look in, seeing what appeared to be a piec- ”- Shit, Kaeor- It's nothing-” The words seemingly just blurted out of my mouth as the grin soon faded, I seemingly looking on in horror at the scene in front of me as I raised from where I was, and in two quick movements, moved towards his form, and snatch the paper from his hand (Or at least, I tried my best to do so!) as I could then but look up at him with eyes large, red and if but for the first time in a while, a bit scared, not of whatever the paper said, but of his reaction "-I-It's nothing, I swear."- Although with my ego in place I’d dismiss this feeling and stay silent from here on.

Well this was awkward.

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[Kaeor]

There weren't even words to describe this situation. These were things that naturally others just dreamed of happening to others. Never, ever in the world, would I imagine myself in this circumstance that I had been pressed in. Or would I wish such a grim fate pressed upon me. "How long have you been stringing me along?" The words were clear but powerful. Did she really think so little of me not to inform me? I was more than upset honestly. Words that should've came from her were never said. My statement from earlier was possibly overloaded. Yet the brunt brutality were only a sign of how maddening I felt now. My cheek in my tongue was a sad attempt for me to stop before I became a bit too angry.

"When! Just when exactly were you going to tell me?! When I have to visit you in the hospital or something!?" I shouted, my eyes so disappointed in her that I turned from her and looked towards the sink. My fist pounded the slate surface and I only stared down as I turned the water on, If anything this wasn't one of our finer moments in our relationship. The date of the note was from months ago so certainly she would have no excuse for this.

"I trusted you Areru. Why. Just why would you mess that up.." I uttered, barely audible to her ears before my hands dipped into the sink. Water would be splashed on my face in hopes of bringing me out of this shock and hopefully making this dream. But everything was all too truth that I read about her mother and the disease that she was inflicted to as well. To suffer the same fate over a limited time. It was just too much to bear and all I wanted to do was push it all away.

"I can't believe you would do this. Not you Areru. Not ever.."

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[Areru]

It would be quite simple really of how I had just by chance not told him about that, but that again, I was never meaning to tell him- He would never know, hopefully. But why? He’d look at me in a different way, surely- And although I knew that I had done wrong, I now relished in it somewhat as he faced me with the truth that I had forgotten to tell him all those months ago- But why bring it up? As he simply continued to speak, on my part, I’d stay silent and take in the mental whippings that he was currently delivering- Of course I did deserve it all to be truthful, he was right, I hadn’t told him when I should have, but the again, we had been so happy without him knowing that small part of my life- And it did concern me a bit as to how it would have been surely if he had known- Would he have just not chosen to go out with me from the start if it was known?

As I stood, my arms would then drop to their sides before joining once more, my hands fidgeting somewhat as he continued to speak, soon finishing up. Once this was done, there would be a few minutes peace as so to say where nothing would be said by the either of us, before I would finally begin to speak, the piece of paper now in my hand as I inelegantly stuffed it in to one of the pockets of the shorts that I was wearing, my eyes blazing like the fire itself that dominated them. Surely in this moment you’d have thought that the contacts I wore would burn from the sheer anger that was beneath them- Of course I was a pretty chilled out person really, but right now, I couldn’t exactly control my temper.

”Kaeor- Have you ever stopped and thought about how hard it is just TELLING? Have you?!!”

I’d say, perhaps a bit louder than I had meant- It wasn’t as easy as walking up to him and saying “Oh, I have a weird thing going on with me and I might just die before my time” and now he was acting like a complete ass just because I had chosen to live our relationship without that being a dominant factor. It pissed. Me. Off.. ”And how long?..” I’d ask, perhaps in a cooler tone, although it was strange really as it was one of those eerily calm tones that you would usually hear before the speaker turns psycho and- ”EIGHTEEN YEARS.” I’d say once more with a louder tone than usual- It was strange really, almost a little bit intimidating how I spoke when I was angry, as not many people had heard me like this before in the past- Not even Kaeor himself- So it would perhaps be a change to him.

But most of all? I wasn’t a pushover. I still loved him- That was a home truth, but right now, my respect for him had lowered quite considerably. ”Have you ever considered the idea that I have feelings, Kaeor? I can’t go a day without having headaches, I struggle to hold down food and I get tired- And now I get this shit off you because I decided not to tell you for the sake of you not treating me like some kind of fragile doll- Y-You could bloody well as have your own secrets!“ I’d say in yet again a strong, opinionated tone- So he was basically blaming me for having this, and for not telling him? The idea that I had destroyed everything, although I was pretty badass most of the time drove me to tears, and my right hand would raise, rubbing my eyes- But my intent? All my life I had been treated differently by people once they found out- I now suddenly became the breakable little girl- My family were a keen example of this, and I didn’t want Kaeor to treat me any different. It sickened me to think of it, really.

"I can't believe you would do this. Not you Areru. Not ever.."
”…...”
My hands now clasped in to fists, I’d simply watch on at him as the water ran from the taps, awaiting his response.

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[Kaeor]

”Kaeor- Have you ever stopped and thought about how hard it is just TELLING? Have you?!!”

The first sign of life Areru would be through such a sentence signifying how difficult this was for her to tell me. But I couldn't encompass that after seven months of what I thought was an honest relationship, she couldn't transmit this news to me. When was she really going to tell me? Would I ever even get to know? There were things that were swept under a rug in relationship but this was far from one of those moments that allowed such. Her voice seemed to jump in levels as she shouted right at me, the distance to us so close that I could feel the heat on her breathe and the tension between us could be cut like butter. Even though I heard her words I didn't dare make direct eye contact with her. Our emotions were becoming extremely out of hand and I was trying to grasp what little realization I could of her poor excuse for an explanation. My hands dipped themselves into the water and splashed it all over my countenance.

"Have you ever considered the idea that I have feelings, Kaeor? I can’t go a day without having headaches, I struggle to hold down food and I get tired- And now I get this shit off you because I decided not to tell you for the sake of you not treating me like some kind of fragile doll- Y-You could bloody well as have your own secrets!“

"But I fucking don't!" I barked out of sheer instinct at her last comment. The way she tried to reason herself not telling me something that affected not only her initially, but us now was finally causing me to lose my composure. "I don't keep anything from you! How would this change anything about how I feel about you! I've been with you for seven months. I know you better than I know my true family. Hell, you are my family Areru!" I felt like some retarded bitch in that I just let out all the truth about how I felt. Men were suppose to be the strong ones without fear. But Areru had understandably caused me to become absentminded in my pursuit, voicing things I always held closest to me but never said. "This wouldn't change anything between us! Hell, who knows what type of help I could've found by now if you told me sooner!" My words were acute and honest. The pain of her holding something from me evident in my speech.

"You know what?" I exclaimed looking from the mirror to her. My voice had returned back to a level of calmness from the previous outbursts. "Fuck it Areru. Just fuck it. I don't care anymore." With those closing words said I'd simply walk right past her. There was no being right with a woman - even if you were right in the first place.

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[Areru]

It wasn’t that I ignored him from that point on further- but I simply chose not to reply to what little, undignified things that he had to say and instead simply used these primitive words that he used to fuel the anger that I was feeling at the moment- Anger towards him. It scared me just how quick things could turn to shit and mostly, how I had been the cause of all this- if I had only hidden the note, or told him about it in the first place then we wouldn’t be having this argument now here, surely. With tears threatening to flow from my eyes I’d look on at him as he surely attempted to contain the emotion he was currently feeling, my fists would tighten in an attempt to stop myself from crying- It was easier said than done, really, however as he himself pounded against the sink, I’d simply find it harder and harder to keep my cool.

Of course, I was used to being shouted at to some degree at home in silly bickers with my brothers, but not like this- When I went out with people, things like this were usually quick and painless but this time- It actually hurt, and my deep red eyes, glistening with tears, would seem to fail me as I’d finally give in, my eyes flooding. ”I don’t WANT any help- Can’t you see that?! I'm fine as I am-” I’d blurt out; Many years of my youth had been spent on both attempting to find out what was wrong and suffering- Of course help would be good but as of now I- we had no way of affording whatever it was, and I just couldn’t bear to place that burden on anyone- My dad, my brothers, not even Kaeor, who was being a total dick to me right now- It was too much of a liability- I was too much of a liability.

But- it wasn’t long until I found myself alone in the bathroom, and as he left in such a brash way, I swiftly turned on my heel- Comforting perhaps my eyes had been to Kaeor prior to this argument, but now they burned like the very fire that they symbolized as I gazed on with eyes both upset and full of anger as he made his way out- ”This wouldn’t change anything between us? Haha.” I’d say just above a shout, forced laughter escaping my lungs. ”I’m sure I’ve heard that one before. I bet you're also going to say that you'll probably stay with me, and that we'll work it out too?” once more in relation to past relationships which I’d been in- Of course a few of the last ones I’d divulged this information to had decided that having such a problem wasn’t worth it and had decided to end it- "You're just like the rest, Kaeor." it wasn’t as if I was a paranoid person, but after the same results from people, I’d just stopped bothering, really. It was better off that way. It wasn't in true sincerity that I said the above words but moreso in blunt anger- I didn't mean it fully but- It was too late now.

And then, the situation having simply amounted and amounted past what I was used to from people, I’d then, shutting myself off in some ways, slink around Kaeor and then out the bedroom door, out the hallway, out the door, and god knows where, slamming each door shut in my wake as I made my way out to the dreary weather outside, my name being true to its meaning- In my shorts, bare feet and t-shirt, tears streaming down my face; the cold outside was a stark contrast to the warmth of Kaeor’s apartment, but as the cold soon began to pierce my being as I walked away, attempting to escape from the place, I couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty of what had just happened- But this had only proved that he had just been like the rest, and right now, all I wanted was to be back home, with my dad, although at the same time, he’d obviously send the boys after Kaeor, and a small part of me didn’t want that happening- Upon reaching the pavement, I’d then make a beeline not towards the direction of my own house, but towards wherever I could go to that would be furthest away from both places.

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[Kaeor]

This conversation was pointless. We didn't agree on this topic and she definitely didn't desire any sort of help from me. Or at least that's what she told me. Sure, she was completely fine on the exterior but that could only did so much to mask her ailing interior disease. Even though I couldn't see it I knew that it ravaged her body from the symptoms she described early. To endure such a twisted fate made me realize how strong she really was even though she stood scrawny and thin. My attention to her had completely receded as I withdrawn from the topic. It was for the fact that I didn't feel she understood how important it was for me to know this and to give me a try at understanding rather than leading me in the dark. That's what people did when they cared about someone, or at least typically how I believed someone would handle it. Words of reassurance of how even this argument and her infliction still wouldn't mean anything to me in the long run were about to pour like a waterfall, but she had mocked my words so I was left with nothing. I only gritted my teeth at the claim of her comparing me to the others she dated. It made me feel mostly used and useless, the way she nonchalantly placed me in the same category as them.

Before I knew it I had watched her bound off and I had no intention to trail her as she slammed my door disrespectfully. Yet my heart moved in the same direction as Areru did, and so did my feet. Maybe I was actually wrong to bring up such a situation with an air of authority. But I knew I'd be even more wrong if I managed to lose her. My naked chest wasn't resistant to the cold but it wasn't something that would hamper my pursuit. The veins near my eyes sudden grew in power and my vision became greatly enhanced. It was then that I'd see her and with the use of various shunpos, the distance between us would be minimized. "Areru!" I didn't intend to say her name so quickly or so loudly. It just .. came out. It was the only way to get her attention as my hand grabbed her wrist, completely stopping her most likely.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I should've thought about you more and not that note. But regardless, i'm not like them." I'd say in reference to those in her past relationships. "Areru. I still want you. This doesn't change anything about how I feel about you!" I reasoned, telling her how I honestly felt. My hands would wrap around her waist and my chin would tuck between the space between her neck and shoulder if allowed. My hands would even motion towards her face, gently pressing against her soft skin in an attempt to wipe away the tears that flooded her.

"I'm serious. I'm not leaving you. So don't leave me. You don't have to deal with this thing alone Areru. I'm always here for you and I promise, I'll make everything right.

Just don't go."

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[Areru]

As my feet hit hard against the floor, I was in such a mood right now that I didn’t care if there were glass shards on the floor- Luckily after inspecting it I could say that it was devoid of such items, but frankly after the initial check I couldn’t be bothered to do another one- As far as I know, I was walking on a street full of glass. And I’d continue to walk down, my pace increasing somewhat, although I couldn’t help but hear my name being shouted elsewhere, causing my head to peek up and gaze in the direction that it had come from to see the only person who I didn’t want to talk with right now- Hastening my pace again I’d cross my arms and look in the direction I was going in, only to feel familiar skin pressing against my right wrist, and if anything- It caught me with surprise and had to make me stop in my tracks.

My head and entire body turning so that I was now facing him- The same man who had been swearing and shouting things at me earlier. My red eyes, still dipped in anger would keep their gaze locked on his own as he’d speak, explaining that he was the one in the wrong- Although I knew different. It wasn’t long before our eye contact would break, as he’d draw me in to him, my head almost instinctively leaning against his own as it lay on my shoulder. ”..I’m sorry.” I’d finally be able to say, although it was hushed- But this one quiet little moment would surely reveal enough silence so that he’d be able to hear- Being so close as well, it upped his chances of hearing my quiet apology. But simply listening to him say such things was too much, and although he tried to halt the flow of tears from my face, he’d simply find more forming.

”I’m so sorry- It’s- Kaeor; I should have told you at the start but-” I’d say after he had spoken, my grasp on him so tight that one would wonder if he could breathe, but although it was of a lot of effort, there wasn’t much.. strength involved. ”-I didn’t want you to leave because of it-- I love you.” I’d say, more of a babble now that I was crying, tears welling in my eyes as I sniffled- I felt so bad. It was idiotic of me not to tell him at the start, but, now that he did know, was it for the best or for the worst? I was unsure as of now but from the words that he said it gave me hope that he had forgiven me for what I had done to him- It would take a while surely to take this off my mind, but I was glad that he wasn’t leaving- Or at least claimed he wasn’t.

”Kaeor-
I don’t want to leave- Not you.
Promise me you won't go-”
I’d say this with emotions ablaze as I clung on tightly to him, perhaps almost scared that should I lose my grip, I’d lose him. Coughing a single time I’d then keep leaning my head against his own as my request was made- He had already sworn his alliegence to me but- The words were just released.

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