lion's claws | selfish

[Estilo]

L I O N S C L A W S
ライオンの爪



"Even the youngest of cubs realizes the importance of the claw."

Jigen's Bestowal

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Raion no Hōkō (Lion's Claws)

[/u]
Rank: B
Type: Supplementary | Ninjutsu
Range: 0 - 20 meters
Handseals: -
Chakra: High to activate, Mid to sustain.
Special: User does not have to issue hand seals to activate, but must "charge" a time equal to the amount of time it would take to form '6' hand seals- a 'B' ranks worth. Claws have a base length of '4' inches, beginning at the tip of each finger. In addition to providing the user with handy close-combat appendages, the user may amplifiy their claws with more of the 'Raion no Tategami' chakra they have stored in order to power the strength of their attacks even further. 'Raion no Tategami' chakra used to boost an attack only lasts for '1' turn after its conception, or until it's used in an attack prior to that limit. Once a boost of 'Raion no Tategami' chakra has been issued, the user may not stack the boost with additional chakra at a later time, until the aforementioned boost has been issued in the form of an attack or depleted after the '1' turn limit. The amount of 'Raion no Tategami' chakra used to boost the attack is based on the user's discretion, but must follow the same usage restrictions as the 'Raion no Tategami' short bursts. In regards to the long-ranged slashes, lion claw slash power and size depends on the amount of 'Raion no Tategami' chakra used. A 'Low' or 'D' ranked powered attack starts off with a '1' meter long slash- and each subsequent rank adds '1' extra meter, as well as increases the overall strength of the technique. User has the option of deactivating the 'Raion no Hōkō' at any moment.
Description: After gathering a sufficient amount of 'Raion no Tategami' chakra in one's hands, the user can form a pair of chakra-condensed claws, capable of tearing through flesh with ease. In addition, they can power their claws with a burst of chakra, and unleash an open-palmed slash which extends a cutter of chakra from each finger tip uniformly. The result is sheer devastation, as the lethality of the strike is only rivaled by its sharpness.
Domain: Ninjutsu, Raion no Tategami 'S'. Atlas Burabiya.
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[Hotaru]

I would prefer this to have hand seals, especially since your charge time doesn't explain how long it would take to use the technique.


2) The chakra cost of this is way too low. It should be upped to High to activate, mid to sustain, considering the utility and potential power of the technique.

3) a 20 meter long claw is way too long, even for an S rank. There are a couple things you'll need to do in order to make this work.

• These claws need an established base length. Pick something fair, close to the overview.
  
  
• I would suggest making this a multiranked technique, each rank requiring the rank of Raion no tategami of equal power. For the extra chakra, give this tech 1 meter of extra length per rank, with S rank maxing out at 5. You'll still get the desired effect with a more realistic outcome.

[Estilo]

Thanks for the suggestions & criticisms, Hotaru!

Changes made:

[/u]

• Up'd the cost of the technique to 'High', with 'Mid' to sustain.
  
• Changed range to '0 - 20 meters'.
  
• Listed a specific charge time in accordance to rank.
  
• Listed the base length of the claws.
  
• Changed length of long-range claws to 1 meter with a 'D' rank boost of chakra, plus 1 meter for every subsequent rank.
  
• Changed the 'Raion no Tategami' rank required to 'S'.

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[Hotaru]

We've gotten rid of "ranked damage" so please remove that aspect of the technique. You can simply explain that the more chakra invested, the stronger the technique becomes.

[Estilo]

Listo ~

Changes made:

[/u]

• Removed the 'ranked damage' example in the Special.

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[Hotaru]

Just a general question.

Once this extra chakra is applied to grow the claws, how long does that effect last?

1 turn? 1 attack? how long can you hold it in the claws before it disappears / has to be used?

[Estilo]

Noted!

Changes made:

[/u]

• Set a specific length of time for the 'chakra boost' effect.
  
• Added a restriction preventing additional 'stacking' during that time.

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[Hotaru]

drop it to 1 turn and you've got a deal.

[Estilo]

Bam ~

Changes made:

[/u]

• Changed the turn limit from '2' to '1' turn.

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[Hotaru]

1.3 Accepted.

Nicely done.

[vegapunk]

These jutsu are very interesting! love to see them in combat.

2/3

[addy-hime ♥]

3/3.

Great as always!

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