you'll never forget those nights. (private)

[Comatose]

The cursed device she had handed me turned out to be more of a hassle than a blessing that I had assumed it would be. It's metal frame didn't care about anything, and didn't hesitate to be the bearer of bad news. Youka was breaking under pressure, her armor cracking under the possibility of her family being in trouble. It was a normal emotional response, something expected, even out of her with all her mood swings and boasting of strength. In reality, she was really quite frail.

"Don't worry." I whispered under my breath.

I'd hold her up this one time, be the support that allowed her to stay strong. If she fell here, allowing herself to be taken by whatever news her sibling bared, everything would be over before it began. Everything I had so planned for and nurtured by my doings would have been all for not. I had very little choice, though, it was nice being relied upon for something like this, circumstance aside.

[addy-hime ♥]

He may have whispered, but it appeared that Youka had heard him, as she pressed herself just a tiny bit closer. It was her same theory here: Asato would not kill her for this breach of his personal space because that would ruin his plans outright.

Blue eyes closed, the only way she could possibly stop the desert's spinning dance. The sun had almost set, it would be dark and cold soon and the trip back to Sunagakure no Sato would be impossible. Still, she had no plans to leave just yet. In this state, it would almost be a death sentence in and of itself to try and stagger past the cacti and coyotes; the buzzards would have her before any shinobi could discover her identity.

"Ever since I was little I could feel when something was wrong with my brothers. A skinned knee, an accidental stab of the kunai ... " she broke off, laughing at a private joke. It really was not a secret that the Etsuko were a brooding and violent bunch. "I didn't have any premonitions before, but now I can feel it. Someone got hurt. It's just a matter of Soratsu telling me who, and how bad." She refused to think it would be more than a wound, that any of her brothers could have lost their life, because they seemed so very strong to her. She believed in them; the only person's skills she had more faith in was the nuke-nin she currently clung to.

It seemed she was trying to pull herself together, though. "No matter what it is, you don't have to worry. It's not going to change me or ... effect your goals, I promise. No reason to kill me or anything~" It could have been a joke if she wasn't so sure Asato would take her out if and when she became useless to him. That was their deal, their relationship. Youka released his shirt, but didn't move away, preferring the feel of his body.

[/font]

[Comatose]

Their family bond seemed to be strong. It wasn't unusual for those of the same blood to 'feel' a disturbance with another. Mothers did similar things with their child, being able to always know when they were lying, in trouble, or possibly hurt. Being an only child had left me out of this interesting loop, I didn't know brotherhood, sisterhood, or the bond that they shared — my parents had left me long ago.

"At least you have a strong bond."

I reassured her, before patting her head gently, almost instinctively. She needed all the support she'd get for this news. I was the crutch.

"I wouldn't be as disrespectful as to kill you, or anything of the like over something this. I may be maniacal, but I have some level of honor."

[addy-hime ♥]

"Honor, huh ... ? That you do. Crazy but intelligent, obviously," the Kazekage laughed. Soratsu's slow responding time made her feel emboldened, and Asato's presence helped to cool her down. She didn't want to start crying in front of him; if she were alone, it probably would have happened already. Leader of an entire village of shinobi or not, she was nothing more than a child faced with the possible injury of one of the few people she truly cared for. She had been mad when they left, but it would never last.

She was also suddenly moved by the ex-Kage's stability. He had every right to shove her away; she was nothing to him but an asset he had to protect for his own interest. Still, he chose to do what he could to make her feel better. The pat on the head brought a smile to her face, and before she knew it she was reaching up to grasp him by the collar. It wasn't a violent or crass grip, but a gentle tug--one with enough force to get him to lean closer. She wasn't as tall as him! "Thanks, Asato." A soft kiss was pressed to his cheek, not rushed but not prolonged.

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[Comatose]

I had obviously not expected that reaction to my patting of her head. The pat was a seemingly harmless gesture that had seemed to spark something different. The kiss she had placed on my cheek had crossed the imaginary boundary we had created. I didn't quite know how to react to it and thus sat there for a moment, only to get up and dust myself off.

"Uh. ."

No proper words formulated for the occasion so I stopped trying to think about something to say that would be politically correct in such a situation.I let myself play it off, and allowed for a smart comment to escape my lips.

"I thought your body wasn't part of the deal?"

She had mentioned how it wasn't so many times before, yet she had kissed me. It was a confusing turn around. A single arm wrapped around her waist suddenly and pulled her in closer. I had hoped the closeness would get some truthful answers out of her. Perhaps, it would confuse her enough to allow her to simply be truthful to herself.

"So why would you do that?"

[addy-hime ♥]

It had been an innocent kiss, truly. Youka's only motivation at the time had been to show him her thanks in a way she normally saved for those few people she cared for--her brothers, namely. Sure, it might have lasted much longer than what she would have allotted for Soratsu or Kaiiro, but that didn't mean it was romantic!

When he posed the question about her body, the Kazekage's cheeks lit up a brighter color than ever before. "I-it's not!" She fumbled over her words, like they were a complicated phrase of a different language all together. Imagine her surprise, then, when his arm was slinking about her wait and drawing her ever closer to his body. Warm, softer than she originally would have thought ... No matter what she told him he was still very frightening, but not for the same reasons as when they first met. It was what he could make her think and feel that made her want to hide from him; for a moment, she forgot that.

"So why would you do that?"

She had to tip her head back to look up into his face, blue eyes wide with uncertainty. The honest answer was obvious to her, even if she did not want to admit it internally or externally. She was positive he would not want to know, either, but ... why did he ask then? "I did it because," the girl paused, biting down on her bottom lip to hold the words in. It lasted a moment, long enough for her free hard to cling tightly to his shirt for added composure. "I did it 'cause I ... like you."

Cue eyes snapping shut, as if she were waiting for him to hit her.

[/font]

[Comatose]

My hand released from her waist and I took a step back. It was as I had feared. We had both dived into something that should have never been considering our situation. My fingers ran through my hair idly as I thought of how to proceed and respond to her. The truth was that I had felt similarly, but of course knew better than to express it openly. It was a truly delicate situation. I decided to go a lighter route.

"You know, we can't be anything as of now, right? Given your position and mine?"

Maybe grounding her in reality would reveal how naive her emotions were to the situation and future of our relationship. It was more than likely that our relationship would crumble when our business finished, and even more likely than that given her position and mine in the world, that one of us died. Of course, I would never hit her, not at this point. My previous threats of killing her were all but nil now, I didn't quite know if I could ever raise my hand against her again.

I made sure not to say the words either way, that I did or didn't have feelings for her.

[addy-hime ♥]

Youka opened her eyes again when he pulled away, somehow glad of the distance between them suddenly. It felt right in his arms; that was a chance she wasn't willing to dwell on much less take. His response made her quirk a smile, an expression completely opposite to what one might have guessed. She was the Kazekage, but she was also sixteen, and romance was a new subject for her. On top of that, she was used to her villagers worshiping the sand she walked upon ... Asato provided a unique challenge.

"Who said I was looking to be anything? You wanted to know why I kissed you and I told you. I thought you liked being informed?" she teased, studying him for signs of a reaction. The way he spoke made her think he was being deliberately neutral over the subject; if she harbored any dreams of starting a relationship with him, they were not completely crushed.

"I don't believe I could be with you even if I were not the Kazekage--even if you were not threatening me with death to feed you the secrets of my village." Her head tilted to the side, the smile dropping as a frown stole its place. "You see, my brothers arranged a marriage for me with someone in Sunagakure no Sato. I don't particularly like him, but I have duties." She turned away from him then, shoulders shrugging dramatically. Finally there was a hint of desperation in her voice, not unlike the tone she used with Soratsu a minute or so previous. "That's just life!"

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[Comatose]

Her words bit at my ego a bit, though the response was purely on my own fault. I had supposed I had presumed much to say that she wanted anything relationship-like. However, I knew, rather felt, that she wasn't exactly being truthful with her words. It was exactly what she wanted. It did give me some solace though, in that perhaps she had also come to realize the inability of anything to come of our relationship due to happenstance.

"Arranged marriage? That sounds a bit archaic. Isn't your family the 'strongest' in Suna? I don't see what'd you gain."

I prodded at her story, not that it wasn't truthful, but it felt off. What was the point of an arranged marriage for the Etsuko? The family she had boasted to be so powerful before. It didn't quite add up the way I liked my information to add up. But, I didn't expect her to answer truthfully, because I had assumed that either she had been given some story or simply just didn't know. Regardless, I sighed.

"Perhaps you should get back to your village, it seems as if your family has a small crisis."

I couldn't handle this odd social situation again. I had to shun more contact for a bit longer.

[addy-hime ♥]

A sound was made low in her throat, something of a hum that spoke of agreement. It was an archaic custom, but it was custom nonetheless. "My two eldest brothers chose the marriage for me when I was a bit younger. I did not plan to marry; even now, if the relationship was not organized by them, I would not have any dreams of tying myself to a man. They never said I have to love him. It's for something you know very well: power."

One had to wonder what more power the leader of a village could possibly need, but Youka did not question it. If it was merely Soratsu who recommended the union she may had dissented, but Shiro was very adamant on it ... He was the de-facto leader of the clan. She blinked when Asato told her she should probably be getting back to Sunagakure, and could not help turning back to face him. There was a questioning expression etched across the tanned face; it disappeared soon after. "I'm waiting to Soratsu to tell me what happened." That was a lie! For just a moment she had forgotten all about the situation.

What a coincidence. The moment those words tickled past her lips, a calmer voice was echoing out from the receiver in her hand. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Where are you?" She lifted the device, impressing the button that would let her converse with her brother. "I'm glad you're safe ... I was so worried, Sora-cchi. I'm, um, out by the coast. But don't worry! I have a bodyguard with me." Blue eyes flickered up to Asato's face, wondering if this was the correct thing to say. Soratsu would probably assume the bodyguard was an ANBU from the village; she would not correct him.

The sensation was back in the pit of her stomach, that coiling mixture of fear and anger. There was obviously something wrong if Soratsu was being so strange ... It had been a long time since he showed symptoms of his schizophrenia, which she had worked so hard to help him control. It was a trait that ran strong in their line. "Youka, they killed him. Shiro is dead." She almost dropped the radio. Asato would be the only one to witness the sudden change that came over the girl--it was as if she had been physically struck. The emotion drained out of her face faster than a spilled canteen in the heart of the desert.

Without a single inflection, monotone and almost as dead as her brother, she replied, "Who is 'they'"?

[/font]

[Comatose]

The ball had certainly dropped on the conversation. All of the former idle chit-chat had been cast away by those two sentences, They killed him. Shiro is dead! Though I knew very little about her family, I did know that the one known as 'Shiro' was the alpha male of the group. Likely the oldest, and holding the most power, he was the leader of the pack, so to speak. He was dead? It was an interesting turn of events. That was the last thing I had planned on overhearing over her radio, and the last person I had expected to be affected by whatever had befallen the family.

" . . . . !?"

My former lack of emotion and pushing her away fleeted, as I took quick steps to be by her side in this time of crisis. She would need someone to be her support for the initial shock of it all. The look on her face said it all, and I leaned against her some to give bodily support, to tell her in body language I would be there to hold her up.

Revenge. I wrote in the sand by her. She'd need to channel any of her emotion in the correct way, to the end of revenge and becoming stronger, rather than allowing it to govern her and force her into a typical weak grieving position.

[addy-hime ♥]

Asato need not worry about Youka falling into a grieving mess. She was a strong girl despite her deficiencies, and realizing that one of her brothers was not just injured but dead sparked the Etsuko blood in her like a match to dry timber. Even still, she was grateful that he was there to support her--without his body pressed against hers she probably would have collapsed, too emotionally exhausted to stand.

"Your guess is as good as mine on the matter. I can only assume Konoha had something to do with it, we were nearly on their borders." She listened to him closely, focusing blindly in on the name Konoha. She noticed what Asato had scrawled in the sand as well: revenge. Oh, he hardly had to worry about that. The Kazekage leaned her head on his shoulder, knowing that Soratsu was not done ranting yet. There would be more, and indeed, more did come. "I'm going to kill them all Youka, none of them will be spared. I'm going to make them all watch as I kill their wives and children, and anyone even remotely close to them. Then, when they feel like I do, I'll kill them. All of them."

The transceiver went dead--she heard the final click, and then silence. She dropped it into the sediment like it was some murderous emblem, like it had conspired with the leaf shinobi to take her brother away from her. Soratsu's anger both worried her and made her feel much better, mostly because that ... that was exactly what she planned to do to them, too. "I should probably get back before he leaves again. We will attack Konohagakure no Sato for this; they will be destroyed. However, I can't risk my brother being tactless and ruining our surprise advantage."

The now-free hand lifted, running fingers thoughtfully through her bangs. The other had somehow slunk around the nuke-nin's waist, helping to hold herself up; her legs felt like jello now. "I need you to tell me what you know about Konoha. Now. I don't care if you do not believe me to be ready." She looked up at him, eyes narrowed, dangerous.

[/font]

[Comatose]

I hesitated in my mind for a moment. Should I have actually told her what I knew? I knew much about every village due to the intelligence network of Yukigakure during my reign, and the war afterward. I reached into my pack and produced a map, and laid it across the sand in front of her. My eyes met hers for a second, before I pointed to a specific location on the map, scrolled across a forest leading into a clear area with mountains just behind it was the words 'Konohagakure'.

"There. It is there. Mark it."

What would this start? I couldn't be bothered with the consequences. I needed her to have her revenge. Certainly, if anything would make her stronger, something like this would. The transgression of her family followed by her bittersweet revenge would help her grow a little, in experience and emotional detachment. For every kill a shinobi wrought a little more of our humanity went. Until you were similar to myself, killing without remorse or second thought. I would have been surprised, simply by the look in her eyes, if she had ever felled one foe at all.

"Nothing else to say. It's a ruined village. Shadow of it's former self. Rebuilding like every other village now."

[addy-hime ♥]

Much like Asato, she was quick to produce a furled map from inside the bag slung at her waist. Youka opened it far enough to view the area he was pointing at his map, visually memorizing it even as she circled the area with a black marker. This was invaluable information.

Chin tilted up, meeting his eyes and holding the gaze, regardless of whether he was looking back. It was true, she had never taken the life of another, but she was not against it. Innocent as innocent could be in a clan full of sadistic murderers, right? A shinobi knew what they would have to do during their life when they took up the profession as a child; she was not much older now, only three years out of the academy, but ... experience didn't come easy during a rebuilding period. "Our advantage right now is their lack of a jinchuuruki. We don't have one either, but at least on this playing field we are level. I want to say my shinobi are stronger than the ones hidden in the leaves, but if they killed my brother ... They have to have at least one powerful asset."

For a few long moments the girl paused, taking longer than necessary folding the map and sticking it back into its pack. She wanted revenge more than anything, but she would not risk her village to help her personal agenda. "We won't attack immediately. I'll need to send spies, gather some immediate intelligence. Prepare, in other words. There's always a chance that attacking Konohagakure will open Sunagakure up to a retaliation, either by the leaf shinobi or by their alliances. If they have any--I will know that soon enough."

It was a bit ironic. The news of her brother's death made her feel fearless, immortal. Even Asato did not scare her for the moment, because death would not have been the worse end to the situation. There was a very good chance that she would die before this was over, anyway; right now, nothing mattered. Without much warning at all the girl leaned across his map, digging her fingers into the sand for support in the awkward position. There was no doubt he would look up to see what she was doing. When he did, he would find lips pressed to his own: a hard kiss, bittersweet because it was stolen. Unlike last time, however, she did not pull away as immediately. She wanted to savor it until he forced her to stop.

[/font]

[Comatose]

I had knew before I had ever given her the location to Leaf that it would have deep consequences down the road, at least in terms of power struggle. Whilst we knew their location they did not know ours. It allowed for easy access without much repercussion so long as we had an easy venue for escape. I use we liberally, because, bias as I am, I find myself siding with Suna indefinitely, at least over most other villages. My only other perhaps more deep and binding relationship was to Kiri and the Oyabun.

"You---"

Interrupted by a kiss, I didn't react at all. She had taken swift command of the situation and had acted before I could. I allowed it to continue for a moment, and even deepened it with reciprocation. My more carnal desires had taken hold for a moment, and I had forgotten the situation and my responsibility. All I thought of was the veiled emotion I had for her, and our continued emotional frustration due to the situational standpoint. However, I soon, as in maybe only a minute after, broke the kiss.

The kiss was long in respect to any kiss not shared between lovers went. There was a lack of words that came to my mouth shortly after, a silence only broken by the taking hold of my more logical and higher functions.

"Sendng spies will be good. They should, in hindsight, have the Nine-Tailed beast in their possession. A force to be reckoned with, for now and the future."

I put some distance between us so I had some time to react to her further advances and acted like nothing had happened — which, in itself, was a difficult affair.