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Seventh post

Now you want to know why I'm underground, why I'm really underground. It's because the man is always on my case bro. Telling me to stop smokin my smoking things and dancing my dancing things and i'm like fuck you man but he won't get of my fucking case and it's pissing me off so instead of fighting and losing that sweet ass spot in his will, I'm hiding underground. Yeah I know, I'm a boss right, don't you wish you could shwag like me. Well you can't, only I can do me homie. You do you brah, you'll have way more fun that way.

Hiding underground, like I am right now, that preserves liberty as well. I mean we as people have the free ability to hide underground whenever youw ant. I think it's fascist of the world to expect me to have to learn some shit if I wanna do it, I mean what kind of bullshit is that anyways. Like why do I have to keep learning how to be underground, why doesn't my body just like sink into the earth and shit you know? I mean how bomb would that be if I didn't have to keep making seals and going underground and regulating chakra, if it just like sunk?

Dude that would be off the chain, we could even fly too, like way up in the skyyyyyyy. Like birds, but birds that could sink into the earth and wear tires and dance and dance and dance. It would be one hell of a time if we could do that and have bitches. I mean not normal bitches but crazy sexy bitches. I would be so down for taking a sexy ass bitch with me underground and getting all up in that, know what I mean? Yeah homie, getting her to make me a sammich. Of course that's what I mean you filthy fuck. Why do people always have to take things so dirty.

Why can't I just want to learn how to do a technique, like I am now and expect to be able to take a girl underground with it and hang out and stuff. I mean that's why I'm learning how to do it longer, go underground and all. If I do that and accomplish it then I'll be able to stay underground with bitches for like 100 years and do all sorts of cool shit with them and eat whatever sandwiches I want. I could even get a ginger cat if I wanted too. No wait, fuck that, I hate gingers.....and cats.

Fifth post

Oh ho ho, how much fun we had that day, running in circles with all laughing and play. They chased and they chided they ran and they run, I wouldn't be stopped though as I chewed all their gum. That's what I was thinking at least as I phased in and out underground. I must have looked like a wizard of some kind as I shot to and fro like that. Everytime they'd try t o take me down, I'd pop back up and come at them like a freight train, if you dig what I'm saying. It wasn't exactly hard to best the fools, especially when it's the best doing the besting.

Then again, I did take an arrow to the knee, little did they know I was wearing knee pads. Ultimate arrow to the knee destroyers afterall. Hey you ever ask you says where that word comes from, after all. Such a sillly word, like bumbershoot or cream puff or New Jersey. Nah that last one is gay, not silly, whatevs. I was winning and that's what mattered, pullin a Charlie Sheen and what not. There was no way these fools could stop me and moving around, getting down, messin around was the way I was gonna do that. They didn't have nothin on me home dog.

Pushin and pullin as I chugged and chugged around the arena that the warehouse had become, my feet were getting tired as was being on the run. So I sunk back into the ground to play with this wormie I had met. He was a pretty cool wormie and was rather good at spinning a sword around like a ninja master. His hair braids always sitting delicately on his tealish shirt. I would know that wormie for quite some time in my life. I'm pretty sure he made me the godfather of his kids when I saved him from that can of peaches.

That's a tale for another time, however, as this story has far more to do with me learning how to extend my sinky technique while fighting drug dealing gangbangers. I mean if that wasn't what it was about than why would i be here in the first place. Nah dog, don't get all existential on me with that one. It was more of a statement of purpose then some philosophical quandary anyways. That's why we never kick it dog, always getting heavy when niggas start speaking in Chinese.

Third post

Now was the time, do or die, I needed to act. I couldn't wait any longer as with every second that passed was a second closer to losing the reason I came. Moving quickly to where I needed to be, savoring the moment just before I would rise. If this went wrong it would be it, not just for the drugs but for me in general. Then again, if everything thought that way, nothing would ever get done at all.

That's al I needed to know, it was yipee kai yay time motherfucker!!! Pushing straight up through the dirt, I would look towards the guy closest to me and yell out "Hey chump, fuck you". Looking over towards me he'd shoot a glare before chucking his shoe. Obviously this wasn't the gangbanger to trifle with, I don't really know why he threw his shoe at me but he did and to be completely honest it stung a bit. I wouldn't let that deter me though, especially since it wasn't really the prettiest shoe I had seen that day anyways. What kind of man lets an ugly shoe stop them.

Yelling back at the man, I'd let him know how hideous I found his fashion choice, that I engaged in sexual activity with his mother frequently and my deep Love for cherry pie. Believe it or not, this didn't just get his attention but go the attention of everyone in the room. Now the game was definitely on. They ran over in bunches, kinda freaked me out since you'd think that at least one of them would know ninjutsu or at least think better than charging over like idiots towards me.

Once they all arrived and man did they arrive, I'd sink back into the ground and let them stomp around for a bit. Stompy stompy stomp stomp. They thumped and bumped over my head like willow whomps on a pillow of hammering but I would not be intimidated. I'm the champion of willywomp after all as well as a chuunin of the stone village and a master of doton ninjutsu. Did those fools really think they could just trampse above my head like some pack of barbarians and scare me away. They definitely had another thing coming.

Moguragakure no Jutsu (Mole Hiding Technique)
Rank: B
Type: Supplementary / Doton Ninjutsu
Range: See special!
Handseals: Yes.
Chakra: Mid
Special: Range of movement depends on the user’s level of Earth Dominion. All doton jutsu used whilst underground cost one rank less than normal due to the overwhelming earth source. User can remain underground for a single turn before needing to resurface; each time retrained, the user main remain underground for one extra turn.
Description: An upgrade to Dochuu Eigyo, this underground variation grants the user movement AND the ability to attack with jutsu whilst underground. After a few short seals, the user merely sinks below, and can remain there for a small amount of time, allowing them an extremely strategic position, as well as the ability to laid explosives along the ground for the opponent to ‘enjoy’.
Domain: Doton. Earth Dominion 'B'. Must know 'Underground Fish'.

Oddly enough I couldn't really remember how I got here in the first place. I mean obviously I was here, but I'd be pressed to give you the exact cause and effect that lead me to being here, 20 feet underground. Directly above me they stood, the 20 ninja, a room full of drugs and a bowl of cereal like you couldn't imagine. It was dispenser of justices dream but to be honest, it was starting to feel more like a nightmare. Unlike a fantasy, however, there was only one way out of this situation and that was straight up.

Being the ninja that I am, not really predispositioned to a one on one engagement quite yet, I wasn't exactly thrilled about the prospect rising to the surface in the middle of such a predicament offered. The odds weren't exactly in my favor and even if I did manage to bring everyone to justice there's a good chance I'd destroy all the evidence in the process. I'd need to be creative if I wanted to make it out of here with my form and career in alive.

The only advantage it seemed like I had was the radar allowing me to see the positions of those above me. Sadly, it was with this that I could know exactly how outnumbered I was and man was I outnumbered I was. I already had a rudimentary understanding from when I first came in through the roof of the building I was now under, but now I could really fathom the depth of my "fucked'nes. Not sure how to really quantify that, but I'd say the odds being so thoroughly against me, it was quite alot of "fucked'ness".

I was counting 22 enemy ninjas to be exact. Their positions were all around dispersed across the incredibly large, dark warehouse room I was under. It didn't seem like I had many options as their numerous vantage points would stop most chances to sneak up or gain tactical advantage against them. As much as I hated to sit around underground, this definitely wasn't the kind of battle I would win by rushing right into it. If success and survival was a possibility, I'd definitely need to put my thinking cap on.