Mind over Matter [update]

[vegapunk]

Shishinhateru no Jutsu (Mind Diving Corruption Technique)
Rank: S
Type: Offensive / Supplementary
Range: See Special!
Handseals: 3
Chakra: x2 High, x2 Mid to sustain.
Special: Must be aware of someone's existence in order to effect them. Range of the technique depends on the user's maximum 'Shintenshin' rank. Can affect two target(s) and with each time this jutsu is retrained it increases the amount of people they can effect by one. However, after every retraining consumption will increase by one. Nullifies the chosen target(s) advanced chakra sensory and halves the capacity of their five basic senses. Effects last a total of three turns before dissipating.
Description: An adaption of the clansmans 'Shishinsui no Jutsu', this is seen as a highly advanced technique which is only learned by the most skillful clansman. After forming the needed handseals, the user will project their chakra around themselves by placing index finger(s) on the side of their head to enter the minds of their targets, which allows them to cause harm to the mind, entering their nervous system (specifically the thalamus - sensory station of the brain). This pulse nullifies all special chakra sensory abilities (i.e. Kagura, Sharingan, Byakugan, etc - but only the chakra aspect of these abilities), while also halving the capacity of normal sensory function. This makes the five senses perform at half the level they normally would; causing blurred vision, difficulty hearing and gripping items in their hands (etc). A truly malevolent jutsu, if one has the mental fortitude and chakra to stop a Yamanaka then they are able dispel the effects immediately.
Domain: Yamanaka. Shishinsui no Jutsu.

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[Hotaru]

Shishinkujo no Jutsu (Mind Diving Destruction Technique) - 1|2 denied. This is . . . overpowered and making them forget how to do handseals is a no go. Also the range increase is insane and lets you basically win any battle for your teammates with 0 effort.

Shishinhateru no Jutsu (Mind Diving Corruption Technique) - 1|2 denied. Mind pulse knockback sensory destroying wave of destruction? Does way too much, plus it doesnt make any sense why it's based in telepathic mind communication.

Shintobikomi kakejiku - This does way too much for what it is. Make it 1 thread extraction. The user experiences the events in 'real time' (i.e. they have to live the events as they happened just as the victim experienced them) , and any interruption of contact or concentration should break the technique and require recasting.

Hakushin Yume Koutai no Jutsu (Reality Dream Shift Technique) - Erasing memories and implanting memories are two totally different abilities. As such, please remove one / make them their own abilities.

Up the rank to S. Up the cost to massive. Reduce the event span to 1 post per massive used.

[vegapunk]

* ^{1, 2} Ok, did some remodelling of the first two jutsu. I removed the range (as it is quite extensive) as well as additional features for them both. The first; is now just a plain physical attack with no added supplementary bonus. The second; had its "physicality" removed as not a pulse anymore (its telepathic like the other two) so there is no knock-back now. Hopefully they are better. ^^

* ³ Edited! Aspects have been added into the jutsu.

* ⁴ Up'd rank and cost - but I wasn't quite sure what you meant by "reduce the event span to 1 poster per massive used"? Also, removing/adding memories are two-sides of the same coin - I'm not sure if two technique's are needed..

[/justify]

[Comatose]

The changes are fine for all of the first ones, while powerful, Yamanaka doesn't really have anything at all — and these are at least sensical. I slept on it for a while. I think those are fine, I suppose.

However a critical change is necessary for Shintobikomi kakejiku no Jutsu (Mind Delve Gallery Technique) and Hakushin Yume Koutai no Jutsu (Reality Dream Shift Technique). Remove the ability to retrain them completely. You should only be able to extract one thread and wipe one thread per use respectively. Those techniques are MASSIVELY powerful in what they do and how they possibly impact RP, so this is a non-negotiable change in my eyes.

Hakushin Yume Koutai no Jutsu (Reality Dream Shift Technique) should also be shifted into two separate abilities. One to remove and one to change as they are completely different concepts.

[vegapunk]

Fixed.

[KID GAMBINO.]

1. Mind Diving Destruction - This technique needs to be pushed to 2x High to activate, and personally a lot more handseals than just one. The lowest I would be able to tolerate is 6 handseals, considering this a more deadly option than Mind Derangement, a cousin Yamanaka technique. Lastly, what exactly does "Target(s) can escape the effects prematurely by creating a surge of chakra in their body" mean? I don't understand how someone would be able to notice this without being affected and deciding to escape the pain. Please elaborate or remove this part, and just add that the user can escape the pain through the same "breaking" rules as Shintenshin.


2. Mind Diving Corruption - I really... don't understand the usefulness of this technique in this state, because the effects you have now can honestly already be achieved with the previous technique -- a severe headache would cause a decent enough pain to hinder senses, whether it's chakra-improved or not. My suggestion? For a S-Rank technique, if you change the requirement to you having to touch them, I could see it completely knocking them unconscious, retraining enabling a longer period of the "mental shutdown". This affliction isn't really achievable in Yamanaka, and for a technique of this caliber, it personally feels like a better grab than what you are trying to achieve now.


3. Mind Delve Gallery - "Is able to gain in-character the knowledge of a targets out-of-character background." <-- wat? I don't understand what this means in the slightest; you should only be capable of retrieving information that happened in-character. Please elaborate or remove this.


4. RDS: Opening/Closing- Please remove the "(Per Event)" part from the Chakra section -- it is no longer necessary. I'm also extremely iffy about these allowing a false memory/memory erase to be permanently implanted in a target's mind... I'll see what you/other staff have to say about this.

[addy-hime ♥]

If this technique is not updated within 42 hours from this post, it will be archived.

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[vegapunk]

I'll have it updated by Friday Addy! ^^

[addy-hime ♥]

Archived, since this was never finished.

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