Tengoku no Odori (Fighting Style)

[tenshi]

Tengoku no Odori (Dance of Heaven)

Dance of Heaven is a fighting style developed to be used in conjunction with pole-arms, or longer spear like weapons. The main focus of the fighting style does not solely revolve around taijutsu as one would be led to believe. Instead, the fighting style’s focus is on allowing the employer of the technique to use the pole-arm effectively with one arm, leaving the other free. This allows for a very aggressive fighting style that is heavily mixed with offensive ninjutsu. The requisite of handseals brought about the need to free open one’s hands while also being able to fight with a long weapon such as a pole-arm.

General Stance: The pole-arm is placed in the user’s dominant hand, the elongated shaft is then placed underneath the underarm, and then laid across the forearm, where the user can then choose to tighten their grip by using their dominant hand as well or they can choose to keep their hand free for handseals or other purposes. Holding the weapon in such a manner can greatly reduce the precision that could normally be produced with the pole-arm, and techniques such as jabbing and parrying become much more difficult. Instead, there will be more arching sweeps as opposed to strikes. Usually, the user will have to swing their body, essentially spinning, for wide arched slashes. However, smaller movements of the hand and arm can be equally effective, but with a smaller area to swing their weapon.

Tengoku no Odori (Dance of Heaven)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low; Mid; High

[/b] Using low grants the user x2 normal speed, using mid grants the user x3 normal speed, and high grants the user x4 normal speed, with dexterity and effectiveness increasing with higher amounts of spent chakra.[/ul]

Harau no Tsukigata (Crescent Slash)
Rank: D
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low

[/b] --[/ul]

Hakimasu (Sweep)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type:Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low

[/b][/ul]

Supin no Ten (Heavenly Spin)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid

[/b][/ul]

Fuusha (Windmill)
Rank: B
Range: (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption:Mid

[/b] --[/ul]

Ikari (Wrath)
Rank: B
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid; High

[/b] If mid chakra is used the target is kicked 3 meters into the air, if high chakra is used the target is kicked 5 meters into the air, and then kicked downed 2 meters where the combo will resume as was. [/ul]

Kamiran (Divine Storm)
Rank: S
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: High x2

[/b]Kamiran last for five posts, and grants speeds equivalent to the fourth gate. Many seemingly impossible acrobatic feats can now be achieved with ease. This technique requires the user to have an affinity for Ranton. This technique can also be used with other Advanced Releases, creating many different hybrids and styles of the Dance of Heaven.[/ul]

Hantei (Judgment)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: 4
Chakra Consumption: High

[/b]Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton. The initial blast is capable of penetrating armors and defensive jutsu of equivalent ranks and lower.[/ul]

Kiyoi (Pure)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Upkeep (Low per turn)

[/b] This chakra can be manipulated in size as long as it is still connected to the source, the hosts body. This chakra retains its cutting potency whilst around the limbs and extremities of the user. The Ranton chakra can be expelled in the form of blasts and beams from the users body and pole-arm as well. Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton. [/ul]

Igen no Tsutsuku (Strike of Majesty)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid

[/b] This strike requires the user to be masterful in the ways of manipulating chakra, not requiring the expenditure of high amounts of it. Igen no Tsutsuku requires no handseals and thusly can be used on any and every strike as long as the user has the chakra pool to do so. Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton. [/ul][/size][/font]

[tenshi]

[/size][/font][/ul][/justify]

[King]

Tengoku no Odori (Dance of Heaven)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low; Mid; High
This is the basis of learning how to effectively utilize a pole-arm singlehandedly, and the process begins with much practice and experience. The wielders supplement their limbs with chakra with the purpose of increasing speed and dexterity which are both crucial to the success of wielding a pole-arm. The wielder will be making many nimble and fluid motions that require great amounts of dexterity, as well as speed in swinging the lengthy weapon. When seen in action, the Dance of Heaven technique looks very extravagant and almost excessive. The style of fighting is extraordinarily flashy, almost enough so to inspire awe as well as create a sense of confusion as the motions are not as predictable as most due to the unusual nature and angle of the wide arching slashes that are involved. Most of the slashes and sweeps are capable of engaging multiple targets at once, enabling the wielder to stand on near equal footing even when outnumbered.

Note: Using low grants the user x2 normal speed, using mid grants the user x3 normal speed, and high grants the user x4 normal speed, with dexterity and effectiveness increasing with higher amounts of spent chakra.

Uh, there's a lot to say about this.

Suggestion: The abilities you've granted this technique, simply for a C-rank, isn't going to fly (honestly, not matter what rank you make this the principle remains). Presuming a taijutsu primary goes into this style, they would be moving at x6 their normal speed for a single increment of one High worth of chakra. Likewise, there is no duration to how long this technique is active.

You need to simply erase all of that and leave it as "this technique is required in order to learn all other subsequent jutsu."

Harau no Tsukigata (Crescent Slash)
Rank: D
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low
Drawing upon Chakra, the user extends the pole-arm, as well as their whole arm, fully out to their side. With faster than normal speed, the user then swings the pole-arm horizontally out in front of them, typically at about an adversary’s chest level. The sweep is intended to cut deeply into an opponent’s torso, or deeply into another desired target.

Note: --

I feel as though this technique is relatively weak, even for a d-rank

Suggestion: Give it a little power. Can it cut clean through wood? Can it dice leather to ribbons? I'd say define what it can cut through a little better, considering it's technique and not just a free-form strike.

Hakimasu (Sweep)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type:Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Low
The user crouches low, bending their knees greatly. As the user is in the process of bending they began to make a rotation while holding their pole-arm outstretched in front of them. The rotation should make a complete 360 degrees. The intention of this sweep is to take out the feet, ankles, or legs of a target.

Note: --

Not bad.

Suggestion: Considering the user does a complete 360 degree turn, you should note that it's capable of knocking multiple targets off their feet.

Supin no Ten (Heavenly Spin)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid
This taijutsu is suited for very close distances, with in the range of the designated pole-arm. The user begins to turn in place, holding the pole-arm horizontally with the ground at chest level. The turn soon develops into a spin which increases in speed rapidly. The spin is intended to inflict multiple slashes into the target in a short amount of time.

Note: The time it takes to initiate the spin is not very long. It can be used as a surprise technique to those not aware. The only sign, is when the user first begins to turn.

Not much needs to be done here, either.

Suggestion: Is this a single-target attack, or multi-target? Perhaps both? You'll want to clarify. Likewise, you need to give a concrete number of how many strikes can be delivered, and exactly how fast they're coming. An example would be "These five strikes occur so fast, a mere second separates each one."

Fuusha (Windmill)
Rank: B
Range: (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption:Mid
The user breaks into a forward sprint, upon reaching the desired speed, the tip of the pole-arm is planted into the ground. At this point the user then leaps upwards and forward, whilst turning their body so that it is parallel with the ground. The user follows up with a chakra enriched slash while in midair. Due to the positioning of the body, the slash will either be a vertical slash, or a slightly diagonal slash. Upon completing the slash, the user should land slightly behind their target (roughly 2 meters).

Note: --

Not bad.

Suggestion: You should specify whether or not the use is facing the sky or ground during the time they strike. Also, how much higher above their opponent will they be during the time they're airborne?

Ikari (Wrath)
Rank: B
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid; High
A combo that either starts from behind, or with the use of a technique similar to the Shunshin the user places themselves behind their target (best used with a distraction or in low visibility). After getting behind the target, a kick to the back is performed to knock the opponent diagonally into the air. Leaping after the -opponent, slightly above them but still behind, the combo continues when the opponent is stabbed or grappled by the pole-arm (depending on the tip of your pole-arm) in the back or around the mid-section. After stabbing through or getting a firm grip, the user spins, and in the process, throws the opponent towards the ground with enough force to create a crater upon landing.

Note: If mid chakra is used the target is kicked 3 meters into the air, if high chakra is used the target is kicked 5 meters into the air, and then kicked downed 2 meters where the combo will resume as was.

Interesting technique.

Suggestion: There's no reason for this technique to have multiple chakra expenditures. Make it a high-rank, and keep the five meters in the air. Erase that kicked down two meters, and then resuming the combo; it's just tacking on unnecessary damage.

Kamiran (Divine Storm)
Rank: S
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: High x2
Kamiran takes Dance of Heaven to the next level, truly displaying what the technique is capable of. The technique was originally designed to enable simultaneous taijutsu and ninjutsu creating an extremely offensive and aggressive fighting style. With the use of the Ranton (Storm Release), what was already an extravagant display of aggression is now the ultimate hyper-aggressive offense with a nimble display of sweeping strikes combined with devastating bright beams of energy dancing and illuminating the battlefield. The limbs are still supplemented with chakra as before, but now they are fueled by Ranton. The extremities will begin to glow a soft baby blue essence, this essence flows softly over the limbs swirling around occasionally, the display of dancing energy is accompanied by the softest hum; not quite as loud chirping electricity but not as soft as flowing water either. The speed of the user is also greatly increased to levels nearing the Fourth Gate, with dexterity and grace to match.

Note: Kamiran last for five posts, and grants speeds equivalent to the fourth gate. Many seemingly impossible acrobatic feats can now be achieved with ease. This technique requires the user to have an affinity for Ranton. This technique can also be used with other Advanced Releases, creating many different hybrids and styles of the Dance of Heaven.

I like the concept, but a few things need to be tweaked.

Suggestions: This technique would be a lot more beneficial if you were to swap advanced releases for basic releases. As it stands, not many people have advanced releases; everyone has at least one basic release. One could easily charge Raiton as easily as they could charge Ranton or Youton (Lava).

Another major issue is this 4th gate speed. There aren't many like them, and those that do have them are generally elite fighting styles which require a lot of work to get into. Even so, they're still limited in the sense of their range or chakra cost.

With all of that said, I think you need to rework this technique entirely. Perhaps give the user's spear a different effect depending on the element infused into it? It still has the flare each element could bring to the sky, but delivers in a more practical and usable manner.

Hantei (Judgment)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: 4
Chakra Consumption: High
Beginning with four hand seals, Hantei releases a destructive highly focused beam of Ranton energy in a direct line straight from the mouth. This beam travels nearly instantaneously, with a circumference of about 3 meters widening with increasing distances, capable of piercing even the strongest armors. Immediately following the blast, with a chakra channeled bust of speed, the user follows up the blast closing the distance until they are face to face with the opponent (moving at Kamiran speeds). The pole-arm is brought across in a diagonal strike from shoulder to hip with extreme speeds and force. After passing through the intended object, the pole-arm continues its angle until reaching into the ground. At this point, the user swings using their pole-arm as leverage, with legs outstretched in striking position. If executed properly, a Ranton empowered kick should land upon the back of the intended target.

Note:Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton. The initial blast is capable of penetrating armors and defensive jutsu of equivalent ranks and lower.

Suggestion: We aren't really keen on taijutsu styles being able to simply eject chakra. Furthermore, like the other style, it seems that this style is heavily geared toward Ranton. It kind of leads me to believe this will be an entirely selfish (i.e only for you) style? If so, you might want to make that clear; it'll simply be a set of spear-techniques you've made.

Anyway, this entire technique needs to be reworked. We won't be expecting any energy-shooting techniques, when this is supposed to be Taijutsu.

Kiyoi (Pure)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Upkeep (Low per turn)
An important aspect of the Kamiran technique is controlling and manipulating the advanced and devastating chakra generated by the blending of Raiton and Suiton. This raw energy envelopes the users body, but is mainly focused on the hands, arms, feet, and legs, as well as the pole-arm of choice. The chakra by nature retains the cutting potency of other lightning based abilities (such as chidori) with a more refined a smooth cut. This chakra makes slicing through even the strongest of armor and defenses a simple task.

Note: This chakra can be manipulated in size as long as it is still connected to the source, the hosts body. This chakra retains its cutting potency whilst around the limbs and extremities of the user. The Ranton chakra can be expelled in the form of blasts and beams from the users body and pole-arm as well. Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton.

Suggestion: Essentially the same problem as the technique above this one.

Igen no Tsutsuku (Strike of Majesty)
Rank: A
Range: (0m~5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: --
Chakra Consumption: Mid
Igen no Tsutsuku or better known as Strike of Majesty is high speed, chakra manipulation. Using the highly energetic Ranton chakra that has formed around the pole-arm, the wielder can extend the chakra from the weapon to lengths up to 5m for a brief moment (one strike). The chakra can be extended from the weapon as speeds nearly untraceable by even the most trained eyes, the chakra can also be thrust straight forward while the weapon is stationary.

Note: This strike requires the user to be masterful in the ways of manipulating chakra, not requiring the expenditure of high amounts of it. Igen no Tsutsuku requires no handseals and thusly can be used on any and every strike as long as the user has the chakra pool to do so. Must be using Kamiran and have an affinity for Ranton.

Suggestion: A fifteen foot blade of chakra for a Mid worth of chakra? No, not going to fly. What's more, this has become less about polearms and more about just firing energy from the weapons in question.

---

This entire style has a long way to go. 1.) You need to clarify whether or not this is a selfish fighting style, or if it's something you intend to make a universal fighting style for others. From how it seems, this is more geared toward your own personal preference. 2.) The techniques need to be more geared toward the actual focus of the style: polearms. As it stands, there are a few polearm techniques and the rest are DBZ elemental blasts. 3.) The elemental aspect of this style needs to be openly geared, in my opinion. I don't understand why Ranton has such a heavy influence, when you've openly stated (in the techniques) that others can be implemented to make it more broad and unique. I'd say stick to basic elements.

All in all, the concept isn't bad. But, it could be better.