Revamp

[benderr]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,border: solid 4px #444444; btable; text-align: justify;][atrb=style, background:url(http://i788.photobucket.com/albums/yy166/TaiTai001/f3i8bc-1.png); width: 350px;] quote or whatever here ✘| aesthetics; — Name; Shiro Hyuuga — Aliases; G — Titles; Flaming Beast — Age; 16 — Date of Birth; August 18 — Gender; Male — Blood Type; AB+ — Laterality; Right Hand — Birth Land; Mizu No Kuni — Village; Kirigakure — Rank; Genin — Profession; Anbu — Clan; Hyuuga — Kekkai Genkai; Byukugan — Kekkai Touta; N/A — Difficulty; Hard/Advanced — Experience/Pool; 1000

[/size] Primary; Taijutsu

✘ Secondary; Genjutsu/Ninjutsu

✘ Elemental Release(s); Katon[/ul]

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---

Height; 5'11
Weight; 166
Skin Tone; Tanned
Eye Color; Brown
Hair Color; Black

— Apperance;

Much like this personality, his appearance bears that of a warrior. Around his head, he wears his headband. It displays the symbol of his village, Kirigakure, and he wears it proudly. His garments are traditional clothing. A customized kimono, shortened, and cut at the top of the arms to allow more mobility. The colors of his clothing are that of the beautiful season of autumn. Patterned on it are brown leaves.

Being well trained by his grandmother, his body is well built and there are many old scars scattered across his body. His slender, muscular body assists him in many of his daily activities. He may look scrawny and skinny when wearing his kimono though.

The main color is gray. His sleeves come all the way down to cover his hands, but when raised, come up to his elbows. Under them are fishnets that meets share his arm with black leather gloves. Tying his whole outfit together is two black and gold rope belts, with gold circle buckles. The last part of his attire is the accessories he carries. His main two weapons are his quiver, and bow. With them, he can exhibit his extraordinary archery skill.

His quiver is all light brown. His arrows are also brown, but have hints of red added in certain places. The bow that he carries is brown. It has a red feather hanging from a gold rope at the tip of the bottom. His pants are grey, and are stuffed into his sandals. The sandals he wears are special versions of the usual blue ones that most shinobi wear. Instead of being short, and blue, they are long, and black.

✘| aspect;

---

— cognition;

Shiro is what you call a noble warrior. A man willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of his village. His lawful good personality comes in handy for those who need to be saved. Whenever somebody is in trouble, he is there to rescue them. He lives up to the expectations of the elite Hyuuga clan. Very capable in the art of Gentle Fist, there isn’t a being he fears. His heart is full of courage, and hard as steel.

Shiro is known to uphold the law. He doesn’t believe that anybody should come above it. Those who break the law should be killed. If somebody from enemy territory needs to be taken out, he’s willing to do it. Every chance he gets, he takes missions. The more he successfully completes them, the higher the status of his clan. Eventually, he has dreams of leading his clan into a new era, where both branches can be one.

Shiro is very popular, and has many friends. He tends to be social when not taking care of shinobi business. He does the usual things that average civilians do. The ladies love him, and he gives them just as much back. Sometimes he mentors at the academy, telling the students about the glory of his clan, and the accomplishments of their village. He’s an overall benevolent person, with the best wishes to everybody.


✘| chronicles;

---

— Prologue;

N/A


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[benderr]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,border: solid 4px #444444; btable; text-align: justify;][atrb=style, background:url(http://i788.photobucket.com/albums/yy166/TaiTai001/f3i8bc-1.png); width: 350px;] ✘| tools; ✘— Primary Weapons; SPOILER: Click to show 50 lbs. Shortbow Rank: C-Rank Type:Primary / Ranged Description: A deceptively simple weapon comprised of a carved piece of wood and a string, the bow is one of the most ancient weapons made by man. By using a combination of leverage, torque and flexibility, the bow is able to launch projectiles at a deadly speed and over large distances. The 50 lbs. short-bow has a default firing range of 55 meters; this range is lowered by 50% when the user fires while running, jumping, riding on an animal or performing other aggressive movements. The bow has a default nock and fire rate of 1 arrow per every 2 seconds, and discharges said projectile faster than its Longbow counterpart. Cost: 5,000 Ryo Knuckle Duster Rank: C Type: Primary / Fist / Melee Description:In brass or steel, knuckle dusters are a typical civillian weapon that are easy to hide and very effective in close quarters. Placed over the fingers, these heavy connected rings fit just under the knuckles and allow regular punches to be a force to reckon with. They come in reinforced brass, bladed, and with spiked variations. Cost: 5,000 Ryo

[/list][/spoiler]

✘— Secondary;

SPOILER: Click to show

Arrows x1
Rank: D-Rank
Type: Secondary, Melee/Range
Special: 10 Arrows / Pack
Description: Arrows can come in multiple shapes and sizes, depending upon the user's choice. The average length of an arrow from tip to fletching is 27''
Cost: 500 Ryo / Pack

Exploding Notex1
Rank: D
Type: Tool / Area of Effect
Range: 0 - 5 meters
Special: 10 per pack
Description: The exploding note is a piece of parchment paper infused with special chakra, layered over with a special script on it that serves to enable and facilitate its explosive properties. Its execution is simple - the ninja can attach the note to another object such as a kunai or log, and upon activation, the note is set and begins either a slow countdown burn, which eventually results in a large explosion, or the explosion in itself upon command.
Cost: 100 per Pack

Kunai (Throwing Knife) x1
Rank: D
Type: Secondary / Melee + Ranged
Special: 2 per Pack.
Description: This throwing knife is one of the common weapons of a ninja. It is often kept in a holster on the leg in a pouch attached to the belt. What makes it so versatile and universal is the fact the Kunai can be used in conjunction with explosive tags and other weapons to form deadly combos out of simple, easily accessible items.
Cost: 100 Ryo per Pack

✘— Accessories;

SPOILER: Click to show

Breath Mask
Rank: D
Type: Universal Accessory / Self
Special: Rank of mask determines the amount of time a user can spend underwater before needing to resurface and recharge the device. It takes a whole turn/post of being outside of the water in order for the apparatus to recharge. Additionally, mask is designed to keep out aerial objects that may harm the user, such as generic poisons and micro-fragments, equal to one rank lower than the rank of the mask. Each mask takes up one (1) accessory slot.

D: 2 turns of underwater breathing
C: 4 turns
B: 6 turns
A: 8 turns
S: 10 turns

Description: With this accessory, the ninja is able to breath underwear for short periods of time. The apparatus appears to be a very small mask, and covers only the nose and mouth of the user. Although, it is quite hard and sturdy, and usually comes in a deep black color.
Cost: 6,000

Handheld Radio
Rank: C
Type: Universal Accessory / Self
Special: Has a range of up to 50 meters all around the user. Waterproof, as well as built-in surge protection. Each radio takes up one (1) accessory slot.
Description: This handheld device weighs almost nothing, has a small extendable antenna at the end, and is activated by pushing a simple talking button. No more than a few inches in diameter, the radio can accept multiple frequencies, making it simple to use even in the most dire of situations. With a durable carapace, it is designed to withstand water damage and even the pressure of extreme altitudes.
Cost: 10,000 Ryo

High-Frequency Ear Plugs
Rank: C
Type: Universal Accessory / Self
Special: When worn, the plugs negate Ototon (Sound) based chakra one rank lower than the rank of the plugs. However, in order to receive full protection, one must accept the fact they will be fully deaf while wearing them. Finally, athough it takes a simple action to take them on or off, it takes a second delay before the chakra can seal the plugs across the ear in order to block out sound. Each pair of plugs take up one (1) accessory slot.
Description: Though appearing insignificant at first, these specially modified ear plugs allow the user to block out more than just regular sound. Though it cannot fully stop chakra induced sounds, it does an excellent job of keeping most of them out!
Cost: 6,000

✘| renown;

---

✘— Current Plots; -

[/color][/b] -[/ul]

✘— Village Locations;

✘— Connections;


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[benderr]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,border: solid 4px #444444; btable; text-align: justify;][atrb=style, background:url(http://i788.photobucket.com/albums/yy166/TaiTai001/f3i8bc-1.png); width: 350px;] ✘| techniques; ✘— Archery; SPOILER: Click to show Danger Close Rank: C Range: Close (0m ~ 5m), Mid (5m ~ 10m) Type: Offensive Handseals: - Chakra Consumption: Low While Danger Close is arguably the most simplistic of all the Watcher techniques, that does not mean that it is the weakest. To the contrary, it is actually one of the most useful techniques an archer can have, as its primary function is to defend oneself against close-range fighters, the natural bane of all archers. After repeating the same nock and fire motions hundreds, if not thousands of times, an archer possesses the ability to briefly move purely through reflex and instinct, firing off a hastily aimed shot twice as fast as normal. Note: The user nocks an arrow, aims, and fires one shot in half the time it normally takes them to do so. This ability can only be used once per thread. Ricochet Rank: C Range: Close (0m ~ 5m), Mid (5m ~ 10m), Far (10m+) Type: Supplementary Handseals: - Chakra Consumption: Mid A tricky technique that exemplifies how cunning an archer can be. By bouncing their arrows off the surface of an object, they undercut the opponent’s ability to defend against it, striking deep into the target when they least expect it. Sharpshooter Rank: C Range: - Type: Passive Handseals: - Chakra Consumption: Low By firing an arrow in an arc instead of in a straight line, the user can “lob” an arrow, allowing it to travel further distances than normal. The downside to this art is that by curving the arrows trajectory, you are in fact adding more to the distance it needs to travel, thus increasing the amount of time it takes to actually reach the target. Note: This ability effectively doubles the range of any single shot. Suppressing Fire Rank: B Range: - Type: Supplementary Handseals: - Chakra Consumption: High By practicing their ability to draw, knock, aim and fire an arrow, the user can learn to quickly lay a lot of damage downrange. Suppressing Fire is aptly named, for its function is, literally, to suppress a target through overwhelming fire. Note: This essentially allows the user to increase their movements by a profound degree, capable of preparing and firing two arrows in the time it would take to fire one. This effect last for three posts before it will need to be cast again. This ability can never be combined with Danger Close, regardless of masteries. O.S.O.K. Rank: B Range: - Type: Passive Handseals: - Chakra Consumption: High Mastering the art of bonus tension is one of the many overlooked fundamentals of being an archer. By holding out past the point of firing, one can enhance the arrow far beyond its initial damage. The technique, therefore, is aptly named “One Shot, One Kill” due to its frequent tendency to pierce through defenses and outright kill an enemy. Note: This ability allows the user to pierce any traditional armor, and wooden constructs such as large trees (up to three feet thick). This ability can be combined with other Archery techniques; however, the chakra cost will stack.

[/size][/spoiler]

✘— Hyuuga;[/color]

SPOILER: Click to show

Byakugan (All Seeing White Eye)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m), Mid (5m ~ 10m), Far (10m+)
Type: Supplementary
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: Low per turn active
As its name implies, the Byakugan is just that, a featureless white eye that can occasionally possess hints of blue-gray and lavender, respectively. When the Byakugan is activated, the user's pupils become more distinct, and the veins near their temples bulge, representing the sudden chakra activation that makes the doujutsu possible. All members of the clan possess and can use the kekkei genkai from birth, as opposed to needing to awaken it. Byakugan gives the user a near 360 degree field of vision, except for one blind spot at the back of the neck above the third thoracic vertebra. With this vision, the Hyuuga can see through solid objects, and can use a degree of telescopic sight up to a maximum standard distance of fifty meters. However, by holding a single seal (tiger), the user may enter a "focused" state and increase their range up to a maximum of five kilometers; they must remain still during this enhanced sight, and due to their attention (and sight) being well beyond their immediate surroundings, are quite vulnerable to assaults. Finally, one of the greatest uses of the Byakugan is the ability to see chakra, chakra flow as well as the chakra circulation system inside the body with great detail. It is from this particular ability that they are able to employ their ultimate attack style - the Gentle Fist.

Note: Because of the eyes ability to see all things chakra related, the user can detect chakra sealed barriers as well as determine when genjutsu is being used. It can also discern a transformation as well all types of clones (spare for Shadow Clones, as the chakra is evenly distributed).


Jyuuken (Gentle Fist)
Rank: D
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: -
The clan member can use their fingers or palms to emit chakra to flow into their opponents body's at these precise points. When the hand draws close enough to strike, the clan member can stop or increase their opponents chakra flow. The internal chakra coils which spread throughout the body also wrap around the internal chakra producing organs. So if the internal coils are attacked, it also damages these internal organs. Because a ninja cannot train their internal body, such damage can be a critical hit for even a highly skilled ninja.

Note: This is the base technique for all subsequent Hyuuga techniques.


Hakke Sanjuunishou (Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: x2 Mid
Once the Hyuuga is comfortable envisioning their Hakke domain and establishing it as their own personal striking grounds, they are taught the art of striking and sealing tenketsu. Moving their hands and arms and bullet like speeds, the Hyuuga extends their palm towards their enemy, and leads with both hands outstretched, so that their fingers land first - 2 strikes, then 4, 8, 16, and finally, 32 tenketsu. As the victim is caught in attack, they are temporarily paralyzed if they are touched even once. Although the result isn't as drastic as 64 or 128 strikes, it can nonetheless close off a specific type of chakra flow within the victim of the Hyuuga's choosing.

Note: This technique effectively shuts out one of the user’s elemental affinities. It should be noted that these strikes are carried out incredibly fast. Chances are, if you’re hit by the first two, the subsequent thirty will also land. In most cases, this will be considered to be automatically true. However, we are aware that there are some situations where this simply may not be possible (the chances of it happening is very rare).

In that situation, a moderator will come in to judge the situation accordingly. Presuming the technique does not finish, but the target was hit enough times for the damage to be substantial, they victim will be limited to c-rank jutsu and below for the remaining duration of the thread.


Hakke Kuushou (Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m, Mid (5m ~ 10m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: 2x Mid
Once the Hyuuga understands the art of summoning energy all at once into a single, fine strike, they are able to execute with the same precision, but from a distance. Extending chakra from their body, the Hyuuga will thrust their palm at the target, sending out a vicious wave of wind that can knock the opponent back a great distance (up to three meters). The sphere of wind is roughly the size of a bowling ball, yet carriers a tremendous amount of force.


Juuho Soushiken (Gentle Step Twin Lion Fist)
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: Mid
Of the few non-main Gentle Fist techniques, Juuho Soushiken is nonetheless an attack to be feared. After gathering chakra into their fists, the Hyuuga will skillfully spin and rush towards their target in order strike them. Spectral heads of pure, Hyuuga chakra will then form around their fists, forming two large lion-shaped shrouds that can be used to attacks the opponent. Because of their nature, they can move past solid defenses and attack the opponent internally. Best of all, because of the chakra's nature, any contact the claws have with the victim's chakra network results in the target being paralyzed (for one post).

Hakke Rokujuuyonshou (Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: 2x Mid
The second level of Hakke strikes involves doubling the previous 32, although with a few notable differences - Hakke Rokujuuyonshou is a special technique passed down through the main family line only. When an opponent is within the clan members divination field of attack, they can quickly begin their assault. Like with the previous 32, they can force their chakra through their hands into the tenketsu of the opponent's body. First the clan member will strike 2 times, then 4, 8, 16, 32 and finally 64. This damage forcibly closes 64 tenketsu, stopping the chakra flow of the opponent, thus limiting their opponent's ability to use jutsu much greater than ever.

Note: This technique effectively seals away two of the victim’s elements (they can decide which). It should be noted that these strikes are carried out incredibly fast. Chances are, if you’re hit by the first two, the subsequent sixty-two will also land. In most cases, this will be considered to be automatically true. However, we are aware that there are some situations where this simply may not be possible (the chances of it happening is very rare).

In that situation, a moderator will come in to judge the situation accordingly. Presuming the technique does not finish, but the target was hit enough times for the damage to be substantial, they victim will be limited to c-rank jutsu and below for the remaining duration of the thread.


Hakkeshou Kaiten (Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Defensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: Mid to cast and sustain
Like many of the Jyuuken techniques, Kaiten is a special technique passed down through the main family line. Kaiten takes advantage of several of the unique abilities of the Byakugan eye, including an almost complete 360 degree view of their surroundings, so that the member to see all angles around them. As such, if an attack is near, the clan member will release a large of amount of chakra from their tenketsu and, simultaneous to the release, begins to spin like a top, creating a whirling vortex that can nullify almost any attack.

Note: This technique possesses a large amount of gale force (as demonstrated when used to deflect a numerous amount of shadow clones). However, a substantial enough of explosion will break through and set the Hyuuga off balance, thusly ending the technique.

While spinning, the Hyuuga’s vision is severely hampered and blurred (much like a normal person’s), limiting their awareness of what is transpiring outside of the sphere.

✘— Free Space;[/b]

SPOILER: Click to show

Hien (Flying Swallow)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: High to cast, Mid to sustain.
By consciously feeding their chakra into any bladed weapon, the user will manage to extend the length of the weapon by providing an extra extension of visible chakra. This creation will yield an extremely sharp edge that functions like the normal blade itself. By seeing only the user's bladed weaponry, the opponent may miss the Hien and misjudge how far they need to move to avoid an incoming strike. As a result, even if they manage to avoid the metal portion of the blade, the chakra portion may cut into them as well.

Note: The maximum length of these chakra blades is six inches.


Shougekishou (Demolishing Rising Palm Thrust)
Rank: B
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Offensive
Handseals: -
Chakra Consumption: High
By consciously feeding their chakra into their palms, the user will quickly rush forward, driving the charged appendage forward and into their opponent. The result is devastating, with all the accumulated power of the palm being unloaded onto the user's victim. Finally, with all the chakra released, the opponent's body is knocked back several feet, left to rag-doll and wither.

Note: This ability can knock a single target back up to two meters.

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[benderr]

50 in that side bar holmes

[The Dude]

I assume this is a completed app just waiting for approval, but I can't find anything that says completed or please grade. If you would like me to go ahead and review your profile, drop me a PM and I'll get right on this!

Peace and Love,

- Brother G635

[The Dude]

Only one 'problem' I see with this app so far and it's not so much a problem as a delay of due process really. The eight gates require administrative approval. I looked back to your old app and was pleased to see you had already been approved for the Hyuuga clan, so there's no worries there. But, I am afraid I'm going to need to see yet another approval for this as well.

One last thing. In your techniques post, I believe the spoiler code for the Katon tree seems to be a little off as it reads 'free space'. Get admin approval from Genbu, Kohana, or Addy and either post it here or just have them verify it with me or another mod and we'll give you another quick review and push you through to get back in the game.

Peace and Love,

-Brother G635

[benderr]

Fixed

[The Dude]

Sorry to be a stickler Bender, but you're 25 experience over the line. Get rid of a D-rank and we'll be done here.

- G635

[addy-hime ♥]

TD is correct. In your previous bio you only have 1000 EXP used, and in this revamp you've used 1025 EXP. Your sidebar only has 19 EXP, so 1) that's not enough for what you need, and 2) that doesn't add up with you saying you need 50 EXP added back into your sidebar.

Can you explain where the confusion lies?

[/justify]

[benderr]

Sorry that 50 EXP was from my earlier build that was denied, I just forgot to modify it.

But I removed a C-rank so I think there should be 25 in my side-bar.

[The Dude]

Ugh, Bender hun I luv joo....

You are correct in your math, but I'm going to be a stickler once more. The coding in your spoilers is a little off. In the Hyuuga tree there's something with using bold font. I believe there is an error that relates to that in your third branch of techs that is now labeled "Free Space". All of these... eh. I try not to be a stickler too much cause you can change the coding later to make it pretty. The biggest problem I have is that while you did in fact change up your archery abilities, the running total of exp is now 350 in archery where you have 400 down. Just change the archery total so the numbers line up and I'll be Content.

-G635

[benderr]

Fixed.

Tried fixing the coding but it got worse, I'll try fixing it later.

Don't forget the 25.

[The Dude]

APPROVED! *STAMP!*