Gaia Raiton

[Yaen]

Denpa (Electro-Magetic Shock Wave)
Rank: C.
Type: Supplementary / Raiton Ninjutsu
Range: (50%) karai range
Chakra:: Mid.
Special: Paralyzing only lasts for one turn. The jutsu can be retrained five teams.
Description: After performing a string of handseals, the user will send his chakra from his feet, after gathering chakra into his feet, into the ground. Sending out an electric current through the ground, with the ability to stun the targets of the users within half the maximum range of Karai Shin.
Domain:Raiton. Karai Shin.

Rairō no Jutsu (Lightning Prison Jutsu)
Rank: B.
Type: Supplementary / Ninjutsu
Range: 0 - 5 meters
Chakra: High
Special: Can be retrained 5 times. Can only be used once per thread, if not retrained.
Description: Rairō, just like it's counter-part Suirō traps the user within a cage of lightning, where on the inside of the cage, the user is unable to break free. Except, when inside of the cage of lightning, the foe is paralyzed and unable to move anymore. Though, the user has to stay in place and focus upon the lightning cage. After performing a string of handseals, the user will use Raiton chakra to wrap the target into a cage of lightning, though, first the user has to catch the foe in Denpa, and then use Hiraishin Kiru on the foe to gather his raiton chakra in for a successful lightning cage.
Domain: Raiton. Karai Shin. Denpa. Hiraishin Kiru.

[chiatsuki]

^
Does the user also have to stay in place while this technique is active?

[KID GAMBINO.]

^ this needs to be added. Movement while sending Raiton through the ground to paralyze possibly several foes will not be allowed.

This sounds more like Offensive jutsu than Defensive, which means that this should be multi-ranked, each rank attained requiring the same as Karai Shin.

I also suggest just making the range half of Karai Shin, to make it easier on the math.

Once these modifications are done, the template needs to be cleaned up overall, such as removing "Technique name" and the extra colons after each bolded colon.

[Yaen]

Done.

[.DEVIOUS]

Denpa (Electro-Magetic Shock Wave)
Rank: C.
Type: Supplementary / Raiton Ninjutsu
Range: (50%) karai range
Chakra:: Mid.
Special: Paralyzing only lasts for one turn. The jutsu can be retrained five teams.
Description: After performing a string of handseals, the user will send his chakra from his feet, after gathering chakra into his feet, into the ground. Sending out an electric current through the ground, with the ability to stun the targets of the users within half the maximum range of Karai Shin.
Domain:Raiton. Karai Shin.

This technique as a whole could not feasibly work. There's this thing that's called 'grounding', which is the term that's applied for when an electrical current is run towards the ground. The energy is directed this way because of the simple fact that solidified earth (dirt, rock, etc) are some of the poorest conductors of electrical energy that we have on earth. The idea that you could somehow channel enough of a current through the ground in order to stun an opponent is, simply put, not possible.

In addition to that, the technique doesn't really follow the rules that we have in place regarding paralyzing techniques. In order for a paralyzing technique to work, one the following must be true about your jutsu:

1) The user is paralyzed along with the opponent
2) The user must maintain being stationary (can't move from the spot you're in + hold the handseal for the duration of the paralyzation)
3) The duration of the stun cannot exceed a half-turn (3 seconds)

[KID GAMBINO.]

You have until October 4th, 2011 to edit this, or it will be archived.

[KID GAMBINO.]

Archived.