blowing free

[くすり]

Suisougaku (Lit; wind instrument)
Rank: A
Type: Ninjutsu / Fuuton
Description: Suisogaku is an Japanese umbrella that when opened is three feet wide, but uncannily light. It is made out of an unique material that is quite durable, able to block attacks from even the sharpest of weapons. Its slender appearance alongside its decorative red design make it a beautiful treasure-truly one of a kind. It is able to control the winds, allowing the user freedom upon them as if the very gusts themselves were but roads to walk on.
Cost: 35,000 Ryo

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Suisogaku techniques

Kangen (Lit; wind and string music)
Rank: D, C, B, A
Type: Passive / Fuuton Ninjutsu
Range: See special!
Special: Allows the user to perform any Fuuton & Suisogaku fuuton styled jutsu in conjunction with the fan without the need of seals relative to Kangen's rank.
Description: Kangen is a specialized ninjutsu technique utilized in conjunction with Suisogaku. By gaining an understanding of the unique weapon, the user learns to cast the Fuuton style deviations of Suisogaku on a whim without the need of handseals, as long as Suisogaku is used as a medium.
Domain: Fuuton. Must use with Suisogaku.

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Aizen (Lit; to hover like clouds)
Rank: D
Type: Secret Technique / Fuuton / Suisogaku / Passive
Range: Self
Chakra: Low
Special: Allows the user wielding Suisogaku to stay afloat one extra turn, plus another when re-learned.
Description: The true power within Suisogaku is that it allows its wielder the gift to hover about, causing them to be swept away by the winds themselves. After prolonged training the user extends their ability to control the wind with Suisogaku, giving them a much broader scope of operations in which they can freely hover about. Because they are using Suisogaku the range Aizen offers is limitless; allowing the user to go where they please. An ability that allows the wielder to remain airborne it is very versatile. Moves at speeds equal to the wielders own running pace.
Domain: Suisogaku / Fuuton

Temanekaze (Lit; to beckon the wind)
Rank: C
Type: Secret Technique / Fuuton / Suisogaku
Range: 10 meters
Chakra: Mid (Low per turn)
Special: Ten more meters per re-train.
Description: By swinging Suisuogaku it creates a powerful gust of wind, strong enough to push opponents aback or even causing their footing to falter. Its winds are strong enough to move two hundred pounds maximum.
Domain: Suisogaku/ Fuuton

Kuubaku (Lit; arial bombing)
Rank: B
Type: Secret Technique / Fuuton / Suisogaku
Range: Self
Chakra: High
Special: The funnels mouth is twenty meters wide, plus five more meters when re-trained.
Description: Facing the head of Suisogaku downwards, the wielders summons wind around its head and is quickly shot down with an explosive concussive force. The user moves at great speeds, as their hurtled downwards. Upon the Rib of Suisogaku is a massive gathering of wind in the shape of a funnel which seeks to engulf whatever lies below. Packs the amount of concussive power as ten exploding tags as well as severely cutting whatever is caught within its mouth.
Domain: Suisogaku / Fuuton

Matsukaze (Lit; the sound of wind through pin trees)
Rank: B
Type: Secret Technique / Fuuton / Suisogaku
Range: twenty meters
Chakra: Mid
Special: Makes the wielder move at times 5 their normal speed, and also when re-trained the user can move upon the wind for another ten meters.
Description: allows for movement upon the ground. Calling the wind to their aid, the user can be swept in any direction, gliding across the ground at great speeds. Yamase helps the user move at great speeds when upon the ground, and left with no time to take to the skies.
Domain: Suisogaku / Fuuton

Yamase (Lit; cold wind descending from the mountains)
Rank: A
Type: Secret Technique / Fuuton / Suisogaku
Range: 10x20 (ten meters above ground/ twenty wide)
Chakra: Very High- High
Special: plus ten more meters each time re-trained. Last one turn plus another when re-tarined.
Description: Yamase creates a wall of wind above the opponent which is constantly utilizing the force of the powerful gusts summoned to cause the opponent to virtually submit with the weight of the winds themselves upon their very back. They are crushed with 1000 pounds of force blowing down upon them, making them susceptible for follow up attacks. Anyone captured within this moves at half their normal speed.
Domain: Suisogaku / Fuuton

[addy-hime ♥]

Kangen: I know it may seem obvious to us, but some people could get confused, so.. You might want to put that you need the specific rank of Kangen in correlation with the rank of Fuuton jutsu you can use seal-less. D to D, etc. You know what I mean.

Temanekaze: Considering the rest of the techniques and the very last sentence of this one, it seems like you're implying that the user can control the direction they float in with this technique. But it also says they are using gusts of wind, which implies that they would have to float around in the direction of the wind. You might want to clarify whether they can change direction or not.

Soyokaze: I personally think this shouldn't be a passive technique. The way the shinobi is floating in the first place is the wind/air, so it would make sense that they would increase their speed using chakra to change the movement pace. Basically, I'm saying this definitely needs a chakra cost relative to the rank.

The other techniques.. I'm not really sure about one way or the other, as they have a lot of movement speed mentions in them. 8( I'd say let an LM look over this and give their opinions as well.

[/justify]

[くすり]

Made them edits. (also got rid of soyokaze)

[Comatose]

Temanekaze (Lit; to beckon the wind) & Aizen (Lit; to hover like clouds): There is no need for two of these. It's quite confusing to look at without closer reading. Put simply, you need only a technique that designates for how long you can float. Leave the speed running pace as it was.

Matsukaze (Lit; the sound of wind through pin trees) & Yamase (Lit; cold wind descending from the mountains): Similar my previous critique there is no need for two of these really. Also, 'half the speed of shunshin' is not a good description of how fast you move. It is like saying 'half the speed of infinite'. I like the technique, but find a way to flush that part out more.

[くすり]

I hear ya!

Edits made, just so you know I changed the concept of a few things!

[Comatose]

After careful consideration I've come to the conclusion the wording, "At one's own running speed", "five times running speed", etc cannot and should not be used. It's quite simple why really, it has to do with the fact that not everyone will run quite the same pace, and we wish to not define that variable so distinctly. Consequently, those will need to be changed. Additionally, you might want to explore using specialists as speed gauge, "Moves as fast as Tai Secondary. . " Something like that could work well if proper wording was accompanied it. Other than that, it all looks good.

[KID GAMBINO.]

This has not been modified in weeks. You have until September 15th, 2011 to finish this, or it will be archived.

[KID GAMBINO.]

Archived.