kirigakure scroll [1]

[Sayomi]

Suiton – Tekidan! (Water Style – Grenade!)
Rank: C
Type: Offensive / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range: 0 - 10 meters
Chakra: Mid
Special:Increase by one grenade for each time learned for a total of 5 grenades.
Description: Tekidan is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to condense water into a pressurized form. Spherical in shape and no bigger than a ball of a palm, one would think this to be a harmless technique; however, this could not be farther from the truth. Easy to conceal, light, and enough force to be considered deadly, Tekidan when thrown violently explodes engulfing a radius of 0 - 10 meters.
Domain: Suiton.

• Saihen! (Shrapnel!)
  Rank: C
  Type: Offensive / Supplementary / Suiton Ninjutsu / Passive
  Range: 5 meters
  Special: Adds additional [D] rank damage by discarding shards within a 10 meter radius. If one avoids the 10 meter lethal radius, they will at least become injured by the shards of pressurized water exploding forth; also shrapnel travels 5 meters from the explosion's origin each time retrained. Can be learned 4 times.
  Description: Within the actual sphere water becomes further condensed, taking on the physical characteristics of metal. As the sphere explodes, the shrapnel is sent out over a 10 meter radius, from the origin. Essentially, this progression adds an additional ranks worth of damage to the original technique. After covering the additional distance it reverts back to simple, normal water.
  Domain: Suiton.

Suiton – Araumi! (Water Style – Riptide!)
Rank: B
Type: Offensive / Supplementary / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range:30 meters
Chakra: High
Special: Regardless of the ability to stand upon water, this technique is used to drag foes down into a body of water - whether it be an ocean, lake, or pond. Upon its affection the foe will be forced down to at least a depth of 20 meters, considering the body of water is deep enough. Forces behind the current make it extremely difficult to resurface, without a massive effort to do so. This ability expands 30 meters upon the surface, pertaining to the affected area, meaning if the foe is upon the water within 30 meters of the user, they will be drawn down into the depths. Can be retrained to add 5 meters to the total range for a maximum of 4 times
Description: Araumi is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to draw his opponent down into the depths of a body of water. Upon casting this technique a massive whirlpool forms in a thirty meter radius, drawing all within its grasp under. The whirlpool draws in anything from half its total range. This technique is rather tricky to spot as it takes one full post for the whirlpool to completely form and if two riptides ever met, a massive whirlpool would be created as an area effect doubling the range.
Domain: Suiton.

Suiton – Hakyû Kôka! (Water Style – Ripple Effect!)
Rank: B
Type: Defensive / Supplementary / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range: 0 - 10 meters
Chakra: High
Special: Around the caster, in a circular pattern, water begins to explode upwards from the surface in rings. This causes projectiles to be thrown out of the way, as well as an opponent to be forced back or thrown into the air at the mercy of the caster. No hand seals required if upon a body of water, one must only stomp their foot.
Description: Hakyû Kôka is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to blast water up around them in a ring formation, protecting them from either a foe or incoming projectiles. These ring walls of water rise up to 5 meters within the inner rings and 10 meters in the outer rings, thus giving a ripple effect. If a foe would choose not to evade then they will be tossed into the air by the sheer force of the water exploding forth. These rings are exactly a meter apart; therefore, ten defensive rings are created each time. This follows upon the same lines as walking upon water, meaning it does not require seals, but still requires chakra to perform.
Domain: Suiton.

Suiton – Sakusei Toka! (Water Style Creation – Octopus!)
Rank: S
Type: Offensive / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range: Special!
Range: Massive
Special: Forms a gargantuan solid form of an octopus tentacles out of gallons of condensed water. Foes beware, for within 50 meters of this massive creation it is able to bind or uses its eight massive tentacles as whips to strike the opponent with immense strength. Jutsu used by the caster are executed through Sakusei Toka, increasing it by one rank as said justsu's cost increases one tier as well. This octopus can withstand an S Rank attack upon its body, and 1 B Rank strike per tentacle. Upon a mastery of Suiton the octopus can withstand one more S Rank attack, and one more B Rank attacks per tentacle.
Description: Sakusei Toka is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to form a massive octopus to aid them within a battle. Eight massive tentacles protrude from a rounded body with deep black eyes. A blue tint and a white underside give the creation a camouflage in a large body of water, at least the ocean. This creation is not only limited to a body of water and can even travel upon land; however, an advantage is given in the water as it can submerge itself and attack from the deep.
Domain: Suiton.

special credit to Kou

[KID GAMBINO.]

1/2

[Kii!]

A few small things, nothing major--mostly clarification.

Suiton – Tekidan! (Water Style – Grenade!)
Rank: C
Type: Offensive / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range: 0 - 10 meters
Chakra: Mid
Special: Explodes with a force equivalent force of five explosive notes, also increase by one grenade for each time learned for a total of 5 grenades.
Description: Tekidan is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to condense water into a pressurized form. Spherical in shape and no bigger than a ball of a palm, one would think this to be a harmless technique; however, this could not be farther from the truth. Easy to conceal, light, and enough force to be considered deadly, Tekidan when thrown violently explodes engulfing a radius of 0 - 10 meters.
Domain: Suiton.

Giving a measure of the force of the explosion is a little redundant, since it'll be doing C-rank damage regardless of how you word it in the description, since it's a C-rank jutsu, unless you specifically state a different rank of damage.

Suiton – Araumi! (Water Style – Riptide!)
Rank: B
Type: Offensive / Supplementary / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range:30 meters
Chakra: High
Special: Regardless of the ability to stand upon water, this technique is used to drag foes down into a body of water - whether it be an ocean, lake, or pond. Upon its affection the foe will be forced down to at least a depth of 20 meters, considering the body of water is deep enough. Forces behind the current make it extremely difficult to resurface, without a massive effort to do so. This ability expands 20 meters upon the surface, pertaining to the affected area, meaning if the foe is upon the water within 20 meters of the user, they will be drawn down into the depths. Can be retrained to add 5 meters to this total range for a maximum of 4 times
Description: Araumi is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to draw his opponent down into the depths of a body of water. Upon casting this technique a massive whirlpool forms in a thirty meter radius, drawing all within its grasp under. The whirlpool draws in anything from half its total range. This technique is rather tricky to spot as it takes one full post for the whirlpool to completely form and if two riptides ever met, a massive whirlpool would be created as an area effect doubling the range.
Domain: Suiton.

One thing that confused me here: "This ability expands 20 meters upon the surface, pertaining to the affected area, meaning if the foe is upon the water within 20 meters of the user, they will be drawn down into the depths," and "Upon casting this technique a massive whirlpool forms in a thirty meter radius, drawing all within its grasp under." Is it 30 meters on the surface, or 20? Or is the 20 meters the total radius in which the whirlpool can be created, from which a point can be chosen for the center of the 30 meter whirlpool? Mostly, the wording is confusing, so I'd like some clarification here.

Suiton – Sakusei Toka! (Water Style Creation – Octopus!)
Rank: S
Type: Offensive / Suiton Ninjutsu
Range: Special!
Range: Massive [very high per turn]
Special: Forms a gargantuan solid form of an octopus tentacles out of gallons of condensed water. Foes beware, for within 50 meters of this massive creation it is able to bind or uses its eight massive tentacles as whips to strike the opponent with immense strength. Jutsu used by the caster are execute through Sakusei Toka, increasing it by one rank as it acts like a catalyst for any Suiton jutsu the user may use.This octopus can withstand an S Rank attack upon its body, and B Rank strikes per tentacle. Upon a mastery of Suiton the octopus can withstand one more S Rank attack, and one more B Rank attacks per tentacle. Last as long as the user has chakra to sustain it.
Description: Sakusei Toka is a suiton ninjutsu that allows the user to form a massive octopus to aid them within a battle. Eight massive tentacles protrude from a rounded body with deep black eyes. A blue tint and a white underside give the creation a camouflage in a large body of water, at least the ocean. This creation is not only limited to a body of water and can even travel upon land; however, an advantage is given in the water as it can submerge itself and attack from the deep.
Domain: Suiton.

I would propose some changes, in order to make this more uniform with a similar jutsu. That is: I would remove the per turn cost, so that it is summoned and simply exists until destroyed. However, jutsu amplified through the octopus should also have an amplified cost.

[Sayomi]

edited accordingly.

[.DEVIOUS]

1/2

[Trigga]

2/2