Quiet Contemplation [ CLOSED ]

[Kii!]

A light, drowsy groan escaped my lips. My vision was foggy, blurred; I furiously blinked the weariness away, though everything still only appeared as large colored shapes and patches. There was deep, solid blue before me, and as I shook away the veil of sleep, I recognized it to be the sky--almost completely clear, save for the golden, fiery ball that hung heavy on the horizon. Its beams stretched out, as if reaching to grasp the world, bursting over the edge of the earth and embracing it in a sort of warm light, and I smiled slightly. In a way, it almost seemed surreal, as if I were floating, and it was then that I realized I had no recollection of where I was. Shaking my head, I pushed lightly off the ground, but stopped before I straightened up completely. The feeling of the earth--no, what was I laying on? It was familiar, and sent a wave of . . . emotion, something I couldn’t understand, a mixture so muddled that I couldn’t decipher what it was made of or why it had become. All I knew was that I hated it.

Then, in stark contrast to the peace I’d felt moments before, I realized where I was. Realized what had happened, and why I was here. There was no earth beneath my hands--only black ash, remnants of what had been. Life. For a moment I cringed, and succumbed to the emotion that filled me as I recalled the memory, falling into deep anger and despair, but soon pushed the thoughts away and managed to sit myself up.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled, as if I were expelling all of the emotion I’d just felt. With my back against a torn, broken tree, I sat lazily with one leg bent, my arm resting upon its knee and my eyes closed. I didn’t even want to look at my arms. They were covered in bandages I’d recently made, before I’d passed out, but even such a familiar sight wouldn’t fool my heart. What lied beneath was etched into my mind, and more importantly, what it represented to me. So I chose instead to sit in pure obsidian, hidden away behind closed eyes, but I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering back to what had happened.

This wasn’t like me. I wasn’t one to think at all, much less take the time to sit and contemplate such complex things. Not much good came of thinking without acting, but now, there was little avoiding it. I was here only because I had to rest, because if I had tried to move at all before, I would have been pushing myself too far. To have been in such a sorry state--so beat up, so exhausted that even moving was detrimental--it was frustrating to have fallen to. But worse than that was the state I’d thrown myself into that had gotten me into such a predicament. I’d truly lost my mind, if only for that time, driven mad by anger and confusion and sorrow. And I owed my life to Masuerta and Blanche, because I would surely have died if it weren’t for the both of them.

Gathering the courage to gaze upon my own form, I slowly opened my eyes, staring down at my bandaged arm with a heavy heart. It was an expression unbecoming of me--one I never wore--one of pain, and guilt. One I hated. I turned my arm over, flexing my hand as I examined it. It felt perfectly healthy, thanks to Blanche, but I knew what lied beneath the bandages: grotesque, reddened scars, and more importantly, a sort of mark of shame. A testament to my failure, and my naivete. It was something I’d contemplated too many times before, but I couldn’t push it from my mind now.

How much time had passed? I’d succumbed to the lull of my subconscious, fallen victim to exhaustion shortly after Blanche had left me. There was no way for me to tell how long I’d been unconscious, but I knew that I felt well rested. That I’d regained my chakra, and that I could begin to move soon. But I had no goals, nowhere to go. Not immediately, at least--because I didn’t know what I wanted, or even where I was exactly. Where had Masuerta gone? I regretted leaving him, felt guilty for it, so I knew that my first goal was to find him. To apologize. He’d saved my life, and I’d simply left him alone because I didn’t want to burden him. But was that all I had done? Probably not; I’d probably betrayed his trust, in a way. Leaving without saying a word.

Sighing, I turned my ashen gaze to the horizon, staring through the sun’s light as if I would be able to see Masuerta there. I had no way of knowing where he was, or if he was even still in this country. I wasn’t sure what it was I could do--should do. So all I found myself doing was sitting, filled with my own thoughts, consumed by my mind.

[/justify][/size][/font]

[.DEVIOUS]

My pace wasn't frantic. It was quick, though, for I had only one thing on my mind at the moment. I needed to find Kii and make sure that he was alright. The fact that these things were roving the world, with such rapid frequency it seemed, was all the motivation I needed. Somehow, the man that I had randomly met, the Konoha ninja, was a strong enough person that he had managed to shake through the way that I had viewed the world. I wouldn't say that I was completely changed, that my whole outlook on existence was different, but I would say that I was more capable of looking at the world in shades of gray and not simple black and white.

I searched for quite a while, unsure of where I would find the man. I had originally thought it would be unreasonable for him to return to the scene where madness had overtaken him, where in his haze of bloodlust he had gathered the full extent of his might only to be casually tossed aside like a man swats a fly, but after searching for hours upon hours I began to reconsider. I had seen the bijuu partially slain, made to witness as the samurai who ruled over the world as our police force were attacking the thing. I knew that Kii would have seen the slaughter too.

But would he have come back here? To this moment to bear witness to the very thing that had seemingly overwhelmed him? It was possible, all things considered, that he would want to see the moment where he had changed himself irrevocably. Who knew why men did such silly things as to wound themselves in such manner? I was no exception to this rule. As it was, the more that I thought about the potential of him being there, the more I thought he would be.

And so it was that I would arrive on the field of the former battle, my eyes glancing around me until I saw him, snow white hair laying upon a field of sickening, blackened ash.

"Hey," I said.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Kii!]

I wasn’t sure how I’d let myself fall so far into thought. My senses were dulled, because I was overwhelmed by my mind, plunged beneath an ocean of thoughts, where the real world was too far to reach. My eyes were open--and my ears, too--but I took nothing in. I only stared down at my arm, resting on my knee, blinking slowly and rhythmically. My breaths were light, too, as if my very existence was threatening to be consumed by my own whirling psyche. It was as if I was making up for all of the thinking I’d never done. I was always moving, always acting; I never sat still long enough to ponder anything, much less something that weighed so heavily upon my heart I wasn’t sure I could hold it up anymore.

But in a single instant, the veil was shattered. As if a haze had lifted from around me, my eyes opened wide and I twisted my head this way and that. It was a voice--one I was too disoriented to process, to recognize, but I knew it, somehow. Then I blinked a couple of times, taking in the form of a man before me, starting at his feet. The clothes, too, were familiar, and as my gaze rose, I realized before I even saw his face who it was.

”Masuerta!” I said, smiling like an idiot and standing to my feet. My thoughts--my contemplations were forgotten, blown away like petals in the wind, and for once I only felt a single emotion: relief. Relief, that Masuerta was fine, and that he’d come to see me, because through my pondering, I’d convinced myself that he’d be angry with me for disappearing. ”Ah--I’m sorry I left you, it was dumb of me.” I wasn’t going to make any excuses now. ”Are you okay? Do you need healing, or fixing up?” I asked, dodging around him, inspecting him from every angle I could for any sign of injury or fatigue.

When I saw him, I couldn’t help but wonder where he had gone. After all, this very place was the place we had last seen each other, which meant he’d gone somewhere else for . . . well, I was uncertain of how much time had passed. It could have been a day or maybe longer, there was no way of knowing how long I’d passed out. Still, I didn’t dwell on the thought very long, because it seemed a small matter compared.

[/justify][/size][/font]

[.DEVIOUS]

It was a relief to find the man so much better. It had seemed that all I could remember was his broken body, his arms devoid of the three layers of skin that protected the arm's inner muscles, the blood that was pouring from him due to nothing being left to contain it. But now, he stood, apparently uninjured beyond whatever emotional trauma he had experienced that had pushed him into such a rage.

And then, in one more moment, he spoke and I found my anger beginning to rise towards him. He, he who had been left broken and shattered, who had left me alone with no clue as to where he would have gone, was asking if I was alright, if I needed healing! There he was, dancing around me like a fool; the worst kind of fool, who could only look to the difficulties of others and not to the difficulties of himself! My right fist began to curl as my feelings boiled below the surface.

I resisted the urge to lash out, though - surely a sign towards how completely I had been altered by this man even though we had barely known each other before coming here.

"I'm fine," I told him. "I didn't receive an injury that shredded every layer of my arms' skin off."

I had hoped that my statement here would push him back to thinking about himself. Would it be successful? I wasn't sure, but either way, I knew what it was that I wanted to learn from him now.

"You're capable of performing Medical Ninjutsu, correct?"

When he responded, I would continue with my own statement. "Teach me."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Kii!]

It seemed he was alright, from my quick inspection. He certainly didn’t seem tired, or in pain, and there were no notable injuries, either, which was a relief. This thought was reinforced by his assurance that he was, indeed, fine--though the comment directly after sparked my interest a bit. He was obviously referring to the injury I’d received; I looked down at my arms instinctively, inspecting them, turning them over and over. They were bandaged, so neither of us could really see them--see what they looked like, understand what they meant to me. But I wasn’t worrying about myself now! The little time I’d done doing so was far too much for me, and I just smiled to Masuerta. Frankly, I wasn’t sure of his intentions with the remark, and failed to notice his clenched fist; I was far too dense to detect any sort of anger in his speech. So I finally stopped moving about, inspecting him for injuries that didn’t exist, and instead stood directly before him. I leaned forward, tilting my head curiously and looking up at him.

”Mmh? Medical ninjutsu?” I asked rhetorically, straightening my posture and lifting my right arm to the side, flexing it and slapping at it with the other hand. ”Of course!” I grinned. ”I couldn't very well save lives without it.” Inwardly, I thought briefly on my inability to even save myself, but dismissed the thought. ”But how come you want to learn it?”

Masuerta asking me to teach him medical ninjutsu wasn’t something I’d exactly expected. It didn’t seem to . . . fit him, I supposed, but I would certainly do it if that was what he wanted. After all, I figured, the more people who knew it, the more lives would be saved! That was enough inspiration, for me, at least, and so I tapped my foot a bit and brought a hand to my chin.

”Either way, I’ll definitely do it! But remember: it requires a lot of practice, and a lot of chakra control! So be ready!” Still smiling wide, I nodded firmly at Masuerta and began to think over how I would begin the process. But I wasn’t sure when I would teach him--did he want to start right away? We were far from home, after all. Briefly though, I wondered if he preferred being so far from Konoha. Maybe I did, too.

[/justify][/size][/font]

[.DEVIOUS]

So he wanted a reason to teach me medical ninjutsu? The answer in my heart was simple: I would never, ever allow myself to be put into a position where I couldn't assist Kii again if he were injured. The thought was enough to frighten me to the core, but I quickly banished that fear and tried to come up with a reason that wouldn't make me sound like some obsessed schoolboy. Finally, I decided to move simply with it.

"It just seems like it would be nice to know." Quite possibly the lamest answer that I had ever given to anyone, but it didn't matter. Shrugging casually, I'd listen as he explained the difficulties that would come with learning to use Medical Ninjutsu. From what little knowledge I had, the jutsu were very difficult to use, requiring an intense level of control with the chakra as they manipulated life on a cellular level.

I wasn't concerned about the required chakra control, however, for I had another talent that Kharashi had witnessed me use but probably wouldn't have realized it due to my abilities having no need of handseals. I was a Sensor, and it demanded a fine amount of chakra control as well, making me well suited for the use of the medical jutsu. I wasn't going to inform Kii of this, either, however, and would instead consider my options.

"So, how do we begin?"

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Kii!]

True; it was nice to know. I was glad to see Masuerta interested in the medical arts simply because it’s helpful. Still, learning the medical arts was a difficult task, at least for the first time. As I’d mentioned before, the chakra control required to utilize chakra in such a way was immense, and so was chakra-granted strength, which was the reason only medics were ever capable of utilizing chakra to grant them strength, as I did.

I could tell he was eager to begin right away. In a way, I was doubtful that going about it in such a way was the right course of action--that is, whether or not we should have returned to Konohagakure. After all, I wasn’t even sure about how long we’d been gone, but then I figured, in the end, it didn’t matter much anyways. I had planned on leaving the place for quite a while now, and this was perhaps the time to do so. My reasoning wasn’t typical, not like the stereotype for nuke-nin; I wasn’t a criminal, I’d never committed a crime in my life. I truly believed in my reasons--that they were for the greater good, and that, in the end, I would make the world a better place.

For now, though, such big ambitions weren’t becoming of a weak kid like me. I’d get stronger, gain allies, and I’d start right here. Teaching Masuerta would help me develop my own medical ninjutsu.

”Hm.” I lifted my hand before me, turning it over, distracted for a moment by the bandages that encased it entirely--or rather, what lied beneath. ”Well,” I said, snapping out of my reverie. ”I guess first, we start with the most basic medical jutsu there is: Shousen no Jutsu! It’s a general, all-purpose jutsu, which regenerates the body through the use of chakra.” As I spoke, the hand I’d risen began to take on a pale green glow; the light of Shousen no Jutsu. ”It requires excellent chakra control: first, you should practice controlling your chakra before you actually try to use the technique. It’s not as easy as it looks!” I smiled and made my way closer to Masuerta.

”Try to build up your chakra into a ball at your fingertip, say, an inch in diameter.” This was a sort of test, and a sort of exercise. It would build up his ability to control his chakra, though I didn’t expect him to succeed in creating a ball with those exact proportions on the first try.

[/justify][/size][/font]

[.DEVIOUS]

Training: Shosen no Jutsu[/u] "D" Rank
0/13 (Sensei Training hooo!)

Hmmmm, I thought to myself as I considered the task that Kii had set forth for me. It would seem to be relatively simple - to create a tiny ball of chakra upon the tips of my fingers. While I had experience in controlling my chakra, I had never before considered performing such a menial task, and I began to wonder at the potential difficulty of it. In most cases, the manipulation of chakra was second-nature to an experienced user of Ninjutsu. Rarely did one need to stop and consider an action before performing it.

But this time...? I wasn't using chakra as a medium to complete an action. I was simply manifesting chakra. As I thought about this, I closed my eyes and visualised my chakra circulatory system. With conscious effort, I began to channel my chakra through my body, starting at the heart and then sending it pulsing straight towards my right hand. Taking in a deep breath, I would finally open my eyes and lift up that same hand so that it was about eight inches from my face. Extending my index finger and retracting the rest, I began to channel my chakra through my finger.

This proved at first to be relatively difficult. My desired goal was visible chakra, but that wasn't what I was creating. Like always, I realized that I was attempting to channel my chakra through a medium, my command over Doton, which was as simple as breathing to me. With that realization, I discovered that I was intrinsically aware of how to go about separating the chakra and the chakra nature.

And so I did. In that instant, blue light, the pristine energy known as chakra, flared upon the tip of my extended index finger like a gout of flame from a gas oven that had recently been turned on. The immediate energy burst caught me by surprise, and almost immediately cancelled the flow of chakra to my finger before shaking my head.

"Pretty incredible..."

Without waiting for a response, I took another deep breath and projected another flow of chakra towards the same finger. This time, though, it was much more controlled, contained with a set of dimensions in mind. With my force of will containing the pure energy, I beheld as I shaped the spiritual force into the dimensions that Kii had requested. In no time at all, the spherical shape an inch in diameter hovered a few centimeters from my index finger.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Kii!]

I was prepared to wait patiently: most people took quite a while conjuring up a small sphere of chakra, after all. The sort of control required to do so was far more immense than most realized; with training and experience, though, it was second nature. So I turned away from Masuerta for a moment, locating the fallen tree I’d been resting against not too long ago, and took a seat upon it. I was surprised, however, at how quickly Masuerta had already generated pure, visible chakra. It flared at his finger tip, and disappeared in an instant, but even that much was incredible for his first time. Then, before I could even try to speak--to give him a tip, he began the process again, and this time, he formed the sphere perfectly!

”W-woah!” I shouted, immediately rising to my feet and rushing over to Masuerta. ”That was so fast! Where’d you learn to control chakra already?” I asked, eyes wide, bending down and investigating the chakra sphere from every angle I could. ”It’s perfect! Awesome!” I was smiling like an idiot, and I really was happy that he caught on so fast. This meant we could already move on.

”Hm, well, since you can do this already . . .” I said, shifting my weight to the side. ”I guess we’ll start learning Shousen right away!” I looked around, then motioned for Masuerta to ‘wait a second,’ as I moved toward the tree again. Unlike many shinobi, I didn’t carry around any sharp secondary weapons--only medical items--so I quickly broke a branch off of the fallen tree, sharp enough, and cut a small slit on the skin of my hand. Despite the bandages, it was obviously injured--blood seeped through the bandages, and I held my hand out to Masuerta.

”Heal it. Focus your chakra on restoring my body to its original condition. Repair it.” It probably seemed sort of rushed, but I felt, from my experience, that simply forcing a person to try in a situation like this was the best way for them to learn. I knew, for me, that I learned best that way. Once he held a grasp over Shousen no Jutsu, the rest of it would be a lot easier.

[/b][/blockquote][/justify][/size][/font]

[.DEVIOUS]

It would seem as though my friend hadn't ever had anyone pick up the talent of manifesting their chakra so quickly. I resisted the urge to smile, but not before the sides of my lips twitched just slightly upwards. It felt good to get praised by Kii. When Kii came forward to inspect the ball of chakra, I found myself getting nervous that he would find some flaw. However, such was not the case, and immediately I was sat upon to complete my next task.

I wondered what it would be as he moved towards the tree that he had been around before, and I watched with fascination as he broke apart a limb of the tree, creating a jagged fracture. Then, to my surprise, he simply utilized the branch to create a small wound upon his left hand. My eyebrows raised slightly as I watched, confused, until he gave me my next command. To utilize the ability to manifest chakra to heal the wound on his hand.

I was instantly nervous once more. I hadn't even been given any instruction on how to use Shosen for that! I gulped, hopefully not audibly, but I moved over towards Kii and took his left hand into my own left, bringing it up closer to my face so that I could more closely inspect the wound. It certainly wasn't anything large or deep, just a very shallow wound that was already beginning to clot. My eyes narrowed slightly, and I considered my options.

If I were to think about using techniques, the first thing that came to my mind was to use a medium for the chakra. The point of controlling the pure chakra earlier was simply to practice chakra control, I knew. I performed all of my other techniques by channeling my chakra through a medium, usually my innate Doton nature, and using that to manifest a technique. Should this be any different? The only difference in this case was that I wasn't using a chakra nature to perform a technique, but rather another person's living body.

Was that why the additional chakra control was so necessary? Modifications to a person's body could be fairly dangerous, and mistakes could probably harm just was much as they could heal. The chances of that being the case this time, however, were slim, I knew, due to the small wound that Kii had inflicted upon himself. Nodding to myself slowly, I would extend my right hand, placing it just above the wound that Kii had made, and began to send a flow of controlled, condensed chakra to my hand. Almost immediately, a dim glow began to appear around my hand, and with concentration, I began to channel that flow downwards.

Into the wound my energy went, filtering in through the physical shell of Kii's body. I could feel, rather than see, the results that were occurring right in front of me. The chakra, seeping into the cells that were already hard at work to repair the damage that Kii had sustained, suddenly burst into overdrive it felt like. With the assistance of my chakra, the bodily cells would work and, within moments, I would know that I had closed the wound. Moving my own hand away, I inspected Kii's hand, and found that there was not even a scratch or a scar there.

I smiled to Kii. "I assume that I did it correctly?"

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Kii!]

If the way he’d handled his chakra before was anything to base off of, I figured Masuerta would get the hang of this pretty soon. If not on his first try, then on his second or third. Still, I had to wonder why he had such control over his chakra--thus far, I hadn’t witnessed any form of ninjutsu or otherwise that would demand such a skill, so I hadn’t assumed he’d had it. It was either he had some skills I wasn’t aware of, or he was simply a natural; either way, both were great things!

He took my wounded arm and inspected it first. Probably, he was trying to figure out exactly how the process worked. Quite frankly, I wasn’t the best teacher. I just sort of did it, I didn’t think much--I never thought much, about anything--so trying to explain something like this was a little hard for me. Either way, I figured that experience was the best teacher! That was what I learned, at least, and I certainly hoped it worked for Masuerta. I didn’t have any doubts that it would.

Once he attempted the technique, I nodded a bit to myself. It seemed, to me, that he was moving down the right path: pure chakra, utilized in such a manner as to stimulate the body’s own regeneration. His hand glowed pale, and I could feel his chakra seeping over my wound, healing my wound. With a smile, I looked first up to Masuerta, then back down to where the wound had been. I realized, then, that since the cut was gone, more of my skin was visible through the tear in my bandages; red, scarred, twisted skin. Not wishing to actually gaze upon my reminder much longer, I took my hand back and grinned once again.

”Hey, Masuerta, that was awesome!” I said excitedly,

[/b]”On your first try, too! Either you’re a natural, or you’ve practiced controlling chakra before.”[/b] I tapped at my chin and shifted my weight, considering what our options would be in order to continue. There were quite a few techniques, and quite frankly, learning everything I knew would take quite a long time. So, I figured we’d go with something more practical. ”We’re ready to move on! Next is a practical technique, I think--it’s kinda like Shousen, anyways.” I pressed my thumb to my chest. ”It’s saved my ass a couple times! Basically, in order to perform In'yu Shōmetsu, you fill an area with Shousen chakra before you take a hit. That way, when you do get hit, it heals almost instantly.” I crouched down, bending at my knees and began to draw circles in the ash.

”This means you’ll have to get hurt in order to test it, though. You okay with that?”[/blockquote][/justify][/size][/font]

[Anmida]

Devious: +30 Exp & Jutsu Learned.

Kii: +60 Exp

[.DEVIOUS]

Learning: In'yu Shometsu "D" Rank
0/13 EXP

Excellent! I had instantly healed the wound that Kii had taken. I smiled to myself as he pulled his hand way, but not before I looked at the broken and scarred skin that was covered by the bandages that he wore. My heart wrenched, and I knew inside of myself that he was broken in this way because I had been too weak to protect him, to help him, or to heal him. I resisted the urge to shake my head as my own internal sorrow ravaged through my mind.

I took a deep breath though and kept the smile plastered to my face as Kii then explained the premise of the next medical technique that I would learn. He was right, of course - the technique did sound very practical. The ability to heal oneself certainly sounded very useful, and I found myself wondering why, if Kii knew such a technique, he had been so dramatically wounded by the monstrosity that was the Hachibi when he had attacked.

I didn't question him out loud, though, instead allowing myself to listen to Kii's instructions. When he had finally finished, he had posed a question to me about whether or not I was alright with being injured in order to learn the technique. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the only way to learn these medical techniques. There had to be someone hurt, someone wounded, or else it was impossible to learn to heal a wound.

However, this was definitely a sacrifice that I was willing to make. I nodded my head towards him and I began to prepare. Closing my eyes, I would begin to gather as much chakra as I could, pulling from my inner core towards my right arm. Such was the case that the pale green glow of Shosen would begin to appear running along my arm. This would probably be enough to tell Kii that I was ready and where he should aim his strike, but nonetheless I spoke, informing him of where he should aim.

"Ok, I think my right arm should be the place to strike."

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[Kii!]

As I knelt down, my finger running circles through the ash like a child, I couldn’t help but think back to what had happened for the umpteenth time. Slowly, ever so slowly, I was beginning to ponder the incident without that stinging tinge of regret, anger, and sorrow. Perhaps the company of friends had aided in my mental recovery, and I knew I couldn’t actually imagine myself truly unhappy. But there was still a sort of weight upon my heart as I stirred the ash about, a weight I lifted as I turned my attention back to Masuerta.

It seemed he was okay with a small injury, and I hadn’t expected anything else. Masuerta wasn’t exactly the type to shy from something as small as a little bit of pain, after all, so I retrieved the broken piece of bark I’d used to induce my own injury and moved closer. A pale light enveloped his arm, signifying to me where it was I would need to strike. Considering what I’d seem him accomplish thus far, I had little doubt that he would succeed in mastering, at least this low form of, In'yu Shōmetsu. So without hesitation, I brought my hand up and slashed across the bottom of his forearm, drawing a thin line of blood.

I awaited the near-instantaneous regeneration of his wound. After all, I expected no less, and I already had a visual cue that the technique had been prepared--and, as it seemed, properly. In all honesty, it the technique itself was hardly different from Shousen no Jutsu, aside from its application. Despite this, it was invaluable, and exceedingly practical in a real situation, whereas Shousen often took too much time to prepare.

”We'll start with a small wound." I grinned up at him again, hidden behind my ever-present and surprisingly truthful childish visage. Even if he wasn’t able to fully heal the wound using the technique, a small cut wasn’t much to either of us, I didn’t think. In the man time, I looked down at the ash once more, and this time my gaze caught wind of something interesting. Bending down, I retrieved a small, gray rock amidst the powdery, black scar, and tossed it about in my hands, awaiting Masuerta’s reaction.

[/justify][/size][/font]